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AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/19/2010 7:53:07 AM

bdsmnewbie10

Posts: 29
Joined: 3/10/2010
Status: offline

Only been in lifestyle about 6 months and with Master the same amount of time.
This past weekend, during our meet, I guess I craved a little more correction than normal and found that the harder I desired him to hit or the more I wanted him to cut off my air or gag me, the less excited he got.

I'm new...is this unusual? or do I just have a very caring Master?

Post #: 1

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/19/2010 8:05:35 AM

Miyani

Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline

Maybe he's not a sadist. Not all Masters are into causing pain, and the amount of pain they enjoy causing has nothing (in most cases) to do with how much they care for you.

Why not talk to him? See if he views himself as a sadist. See what the disconnect was in his enjoyment of the scene. I will say, for me, that when I'm hurting my boy, what's seen as sexual arousal pretty much goes away, but I'm having the time of my life.

(in reply to bdsmnewbie10)

Post #: 2

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/19/2010 8:08:39 AM

poeticfreak

Posts: 80
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: offline

if it's punishment and not play then yes it's very normal, if it's play well there is no normal or abnormal there is only we're both having fun, or we need to talk about things

_____________________________

I have believed the best of every man. And find that to believe is enough to make a bad man show him at his best, or even a good man swings his lantern higher.- yeats

(in reply to bdsmnewbie10)

Post #: 3

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/19/2010 10:46:53 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

I personally would find it tedious. Maybe he does, too.

Sounds like he's up for a little bit of it, but not as much as you'd like.

So you might be a mismatch, regarding (both of your) desired/needed frequency, intensity or duration.

_____________________________

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(in reply to bdsmnewbie10)

Post #: 4

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/19/2010 1:24:19 PM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

it could be anything really, you should talk to him. suggestions could be:

a) hes very caring
b) hes not that much into sadism
c) he felt he wasnt the one leading the scene and it turned him off
d) he didnt feel in control of youre responses and it bothered him

or something else - you do need to discuss this with him really

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 5

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/19/2010 2:00:30 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bdsmnewbie10

Only been in lifestyle about 6 months and with Master the same amount of time.
This past weekend, during our meet, I guess I craved a little more correction than normal and found that the harder I desired him to hit or the more I wanted him to cut off my air or gag me, the less excited he got.

I'm new...is this unusual? or do I just have a very caring Master?

the unusual and strange thing about your post, for this slave, is that you feel "lucky" that your escalating craving and wanting and desiring caused Him to be less and less excited...or that His lack of excitement translates to "caring".

(in reply to bdsmnewbie10)

Post #: 6

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/19/2010 4:30:39 PM

PrimalConsonance

Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline

I think your assumption that just because he does not get off on inflicting pain means that he "cares", may be a bit wrong-headed. Your level of masochism and his level of sadism may not be compatible. You relationship might end up working or not, but his not wanting to inflict greater pain on you is not by itself an indication of his degree of caring.

_____________________________

AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

(in reply to bdsmnewbie10)

Post #: 7

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/19/2010 4:47:32 PM

lucylucy

Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
the unusual and strange thing about your post, for this slave, is that you feel "lucky" that your escalating craving and wanting and desiring caused Him to be less and less excited...or that His lack of excitement translates to "caring".

I agree with beth (as usual). I would feel very unlucky in this situation.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 8

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/19/2010 5:44:04 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I think she feels lucky to be with him, not for this experience.
However my best guess is that he's a sadist and doesn't like it when you enjoy it, only when you don't.

Why not ask him and find out?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to lucylucy)

Post #: 9

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/19/2010 8:16:27 PM

ricken

Posts: 261
Joined: 1/11/2010
Status: offline

You need to talk to him, he could have his reasons. He could also still be wrestling with the concept "it's not OK to hurt people" from time to time if he is still dicovering.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 10

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/19/2010 8:47:22 PM

sweetboundesire

Posts: 285
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: bdsmnewbie10

Only been in lifestyle about 6 months and with Master the same amount of time.
This past weekend, during our meet, I guess I craved a little more correction than normal and found that the harder I desired him to hit or the more I wanted him to cut off my air or gag me, the less excited he got.

I'm new...is this unusual? or do I just have a very caring Master?

the unusual and strange thing about your post, for this slave, is that you feel "lucky" that your escalating craving and wanting and desiring caused Him to be less and less excited...or that His lack of excitement translates to "caring".

good points.

_____________________________

and every broken line seems to have a particular design~
and the universe can only expand.
gotta pocket full of dreams and cash in my hand.
and i know, money ain't real...

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 11

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/19/2010 9:23:36 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

have a discussion with Him and explain how you are feeling and how He is feeling and find out what works

_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to sweetboundesire)

Post #: 12

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/20/2010 6:40:56 AM

bdsmnewbie10

Posts: 29
Joined: 3/10/2010
Status: offline

To clarify my level of pain, I thought he wanted me to want more, but guess not. I have discussed it now with Master and have found it's a combination apparently not into inflicting alot of pain and caringfor me.

(in reply to LPslittleclip)

Post #: 13

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/20/2010 8:08:37 AM

sweetboundesire

Posts: 285
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

as a masochist, i would feel a bit sad

_____________________________

and every broken line seems to have a particular design~
and the universe can only expand.
gotta pocket full of dreams and cash in my hand.
and i know, money ain't real...

(in reply to bdsmnewbie10)

Post #: 14

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/20/2010 8:27:01 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LPslittleclip
have a discussion with Him and explain how you are feeling and how He is feeling and find out what works

*laughs* This could be the answer to about 95% of the posts on collarme.

perfect.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to LPslittleclip)

Post #: 15

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/20/2010 6:02:57 PM

PrimalConsonance

Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline

I don't know if this is the case with your situation, your master simply may not be very sadistic. But one of my big red flags when I was looking for a Dominant was even getting the inkling of a notion that the man was sadistic with women he did not know well and had no real attachment to, but after he began to care for them, he didn't want to "hurt" them anymore. This just screams to me "I don't like women in general and like to hurt them but when I care for one specifically I don't want to hurt her." No thank you. I've no desire to have the hatred of all woman kind taken out on me. Just give me an old fashioned sadist who, whether he loves them or not, likes to make girls go "Ow!!"

_____________________________

AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

(in reply to bdsmnewbie10)

Post #: 16

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/23/2010 2:54:58 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Only been in the lifestyle six months? Just curious- was this the first meeting between you two or have you seen each other and played a number of times in the last six months?

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to PrimalConsonance)

Post #: 17

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/27/2010 7:31:09 AM

bdsmnewbie10

Posts: 29
Joined: 3/10/2010
Status: offline

If your asking me seen several times

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

Post #: 18

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 4/27/2010 10:23:40 AM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bdsmnewbie10

To clarify my level of pain, I thought he wanted me to want more, but guess not. I have discussed it now with Master and have found it's a combination apparently not into inflicting alot of pain and caringfor me.

I would wager it's more of his not being a sadist because my Man loves me madly, and loves to make me scream too. Many masochists have very loving Masters, Owners, Doms, whatever you want to call them, that love them incredibly and have no problem at all being wickedly delicously painfully sadistic. Or not so delicious, depending on his mood. If you are already craving more pain etc., I have a feeling that this may not be the guy for you because *generally* as time goes on, those cravings of yours will intensify and you will be unsatisfied with a relationship where such a primal need is not being fed. I know I would be.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to bdsmnewbie10)

Post #: 19

RE: AM I LUCKY, OR IS IT STRANGE - 5/13/2010 8:40:52 AM

bdsmnewbie10

Posts: 29
Joined: 3/10/2010
Status: offline

swtnsparkling,

we meet twice a month and this was on about the 11th meeting

(in reply to swtnsparkling)

Post #: 20

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