Master- Friend or no?

Master- Friend or no? (Full Version)

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laura2161 -> Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 12:59:29 PM)
Hiya, Something I've run across lately and it has me wondering of other's dynamics. I've seen quite a few profiles of men lately who identify as a Master and in their profile they state (I'm paraphrasing) I am a Master. I will not be your friend. You will be my sub OR you will be my slave (I've seen it both ways) but we will not be friends. Now, I state in my profile that I am looking for a dominant Man who I also wish to be a friend,lover, confidante etc so obviously I am not compatible with these men but it does have me curious. For those of you who either identify as a Master or are the s-type to a Master, are you also friends with him/her? Or does friendship not even enter into your dynamic? Just curious. :-) Thanks- Laura

UniqueRaven -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 1:07:28 PM)
i've talked with plenty of potential Owners who also want to be lover, partner, and best friend - which is what i seek as well. It's all about compatibility. [;)] Obviously the ones who say "I don't want to be your friend" are probably not compatible for you.

thishereboi -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 1:19:31 PM)
I wouldn't hang out with someone if they weren't my friend first. If I didn't like him/her enough to be friends, why would I want to serve them?

blueeyedbbwsub -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 1:34:03 PM)
I was in contact with a Dom recently who basically had that thought. "O hun, I never said I looked after my subs". Well then, thanks but no thanks. Even more of a nowaynohownuhhuh when I was told that he wouldn't respect limits. [>:]

ResidentSadist -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 2:02:30 PM)
Slave-lover-daughter-mother-sister-friend...etc. I expect the whole ball of wax in a partner. I think maybe the stuffyou have been reading is from people that see "friends" as "equals" and that upsets the power dynamics. I can't imgaine their reaction to a mother role? For me, well . . . hell, even the king had a mother and friends. He was still the king.

leadership527 -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 2:06:06 PM)
Carol and I are lots of things to each other all at once... friends, lovers, husband/wife, confidantes, shoulders-to-cry-on, you name it. In amongst all that is also master and slave. For us, this works out very well. All these different roles mesh seamlessly. They do not conflict with each other. Together, they all weave together to form the rich tapestry that is "us". It should go without saying that other people seek different sorts of relationships and whatever works for them is, by definition, right for them.

Focus50 -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 2:39:48 PM)
I'd wonder about the r/l experience of the majority of those "Masters" because it sounds like the wording of such statements is about the inexperienced donning a preconceived, stereotyped mask to play a role. As far as I'm concerned, if you're gonna live up close and personal with someone then it can't be adversarial in any way - you have to like each other! And I'm multi-faceted; I enjoy unwinding and sharing as equal, mature adults, too. One girl (the right girl) can easily fulfill all those roles and it takes but the blink of an eye for my best friend to lose the grin and do as she's told. I think a Master who doesn't wanna be friends is afraid to be themself. They have an ignorant vanilla's knowledge of the lifestyle; it isn't entirely about objectification...! Focus.

Aileen1968 -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 2:40:22 PM)
He's my best friend.

Jeffff -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 2:41:14 PM)
And I just had to wipe the vomit off my shirt.

Aileen1968 -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 2:42:55 PM)
Mmmmm. Can I lick it off?

Jeffff -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 2:48:33 PM)
As your protector I can't let you do that.

windchymes -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 2:52:38 PM)
Better he's my friend than my enemy. Or enema.

astartefinch -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 4:29:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 I'd wonder about the r/l experience of the majority of those "Masters" because it sounds like the wording of such statements is about the inexperienced donning a preconceived, stereotyped mask to play a role. As far as I'm concerned, if you're gonna live up close and personal with someone then it can't be adversarial in any way - you have to like each other! And I'm multi-faceted; I enjoy unwinding and sharing as equal, mature adults, too. One girl (the right girl) can easily fulfill all those roles and it takes but the blink of an eye for my best friend to lose the grin and do as she's told. I think a Master who doesn't wanna be friends is afraid to be themself. They have an ignorant vanilla's knowledge of the lifestyle; it isn't entirely about objectification...! Focus. Those were my thoughts too on reading the OP, although perhaps not as well worded! I cannot imagine submission without friendship, caring, nurturing, trust..if those things are missing then you only get my body...(well actually you don't get anything) ...when I submit..I give my heart and mind too, I cannot imagine giving that to someone who is not also my friend and my soulmate.

lucylucy -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 4:44:38 PM)
He is my best friend and I am his. It sounds like the masters you are seeing want "friends with benefits without friendship."

lally2 -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 4:48:52 PM)
ill run with focus on this and everyone else. my general feeling on such statements is that people who cannot comprehend a rounded relationship are either in it for transient kicks and want none of the emotional baggage - usage only or they do not possess the necessary fundamentals that someone with a naturally dominant personality can maintain. from my experience i have realised that there are plenty of D types who can dominate a situation but they are not necessarily dominant in personality. to give a sub some level of emotional standing in their life means that it would quickly become more egalitarian because their ability to control and maintain authority is more an affectation of the moment rather than an established personality trait that ticks along and ebbs and flows naturally and responds ordinarily (for them) without much effort required. in other words they can only dominate subjectively or is that objectively - i always get those two confused.

jbcurious -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 4:48:57 PM)
I'm on the same page as the rest of you...I can't imagine sharing such intimacy with someone who didn't like me enough to be a friend.

laura2161 -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 4:50:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist Slave-lover-daughter-mother-sister-friend...etc. I expect the whole ball of wax in a partner. I think maybe the stuffyou have been reading is from people that see "friends" as "equals" and that upsets the power dynamics. I can't imgaine their reaction to a mother role? For me, well . . . hell, even the king had a mother and friends. He was still the king. Very well stated, Thank you.

domiguy -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 4:51:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 He's my best friend. Well, that's just tacky.

laura2161 -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 4:54:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 I'd wonder about the r/l experience of the majority of those "Masters" because it sounds like the wording of such statements is about the inexperienced donning a preconceived, stereotyped mask to play a role. As far as I'm concerned, if you're gonna live up close and personal with someone then it can't be adversarial in any way - you have to like each other! And I'm multi-faceted; I enjoy unwinding and sharing as equal, mature adults, too. One girl (the right girl) can easily fulfill all those roles and it takes but the blink of an eye for my best friend to lose the grin and do as she's told. I think a Master who doesn't wanna be friends is afraid to be themself. They have an ignorant vanilla's knowledge of the lifestyle; it isn't entirely about objectification...! Focus. Those are my feelings as well. Just becasue we are friends doesn't mean I do not submit to the Man I am with- In fact it is because we are friends (and much more) that I am able to submit. ....for me anyway :-)

laura2161 -> RE: Master- Friend or no? (4/19/2010 4:55:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 He's my best friend. I think that's as great as it can get. Thanks Aileen :-)

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