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New To Lifestyle - 4/19/2010 11:34:26 PM

Verattenslave

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/12/2009
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hi. I am new to this lifestyle. Let me first say that to my master I am not new. We've been friends for a while now. We are also on a fire dept together. What I am thinking is I've been seeing alot on this site lately and is it common for some slave/subs to be in a relationship with someone else and to also have a master/dom? I mean I guess if their signficant other is ok with it I don't see an issue. But Like I siad I am really new to this. My master has another slave that has been helping me out alot with this and my master and I are upmost friends and I respect him as much as he respects me.

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RE: New To Lifestyle - 4/20/2010 1:05:02 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

Hello, and welcome.

No, it's not that uncommon for slaves/subs to have a vanilla relationship and a D/s relationship - Although I would say that these types of relationship are a small minority. My sense is that most people are looking for a monogamous one-on-one relationship, a fair number are open to a poly relationship and then others have more complicated arrangements.

(in reply to Verattenslave)

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RE: New To Lifestyle - 4/20/2010 3:49:28 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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I wouldn't have a sub/slave who wasn't my significant other - it totally screws up my preferred ownership dynamic. I mean, exactly how REAL is "property" that goes home to sleep with someone else...?

Thing is, you don't actually say you have someone else? As long as no-one's being deceived, I'd say go with what works for you...

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to crazyml)

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RE: New To Lifestyle - 4/20/2010 5:24:49 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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As focus noted, some of us have different requirements. But between you and however many others are involved, whatever works for you works. If everyone is open and above board with the relationship and it's putting lots of smiles on faces, then what's the rub?

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Verattenslave)

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RE: New To Lifestyle - 4/20/2010 6:12:03 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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It's not the norm. but it's not that uncommon.

Please note that there is a forum devoted to poly issues. You may want to read those posts.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to leadership527)

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RE: New To Lifestyle - 4/20/2010 6:35:39 AM

bdsmnewbie10

Posts: 29
Joined: 3/10/2010
Status: offline

Got into this thru swinging, so I do have a husband who is not my Master, and my master has a wife who has vanilla relationship with Masters wife...so to each their own

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: New To Lifestyle - 4/20/2010 9:24:53 AM

afkarr

Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline

The potential problem I see here isn't the other slave/a significant other/etc, as long as everyone is ok with whomever happens to be doing whomever. I do see see a potential mess with the fact you work together. The bruise may wear off the kink, you may decide to part ways for whatever reason, it may become a jealous catfight among slaves; and you're stuck working with the guy.

EMS is an emotionally charged profession to begin with, how much will the lines blur between work and play? What if he disagrees with how you handled an incident, will the criticism spill over? It's dangerous territory in such a profession to be playing with someone you work closely too. Additionally, there is the very real possibility of blackmail material here with multiple people involved, do you really want the whole fire department to know you're a freak??

Sometimes there is such a thing as knowing too much about a person in the beginning.

(in reply to bdsmnewbie10)

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RE: New To Lifestyle - 4/25/2010 4:49:22 PM

Verattenslave

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/12/2009
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I mean master and I are both single. well kinda. He has another slave. So there are two of us. Amd I have no problems with that and neither does she. We are very much a family. I just figured I would ask since being here I've seen some people state they are married but not to their master/mistress.
My master and I are firefighters together, I think in its own right it brings more of a trust element to our relationship. We both see each other differently when it comes to our relationship in public and we keep ourselves professional when it comes to the fire dept.

(in reply to afkarr)

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