MizSuz
Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PhoenixLM
My Mistress recently told me to plan a party for her. The details and guest list were left totally up to me. Her statement was simply you know what I like, take care of it. The problem is coming from the guest list, there is a local dom I would like to invite, however he has a slave and a friend of hers that tags along everywhere they go. This so called slave has in the recent past disrespected my Mistress' home by attending a function here and putting her feet on the furniture, which in itself is very rude, but compounded the lack of setting, forcing another person to sit on the floor. At a munch function she was very rude and disrespectful to a dominant that is associate with my Mistress' house, and at another informed my Mistress she is a bitch (not exact words but the jest). At an even more recent function she was rude and disrespectful to the munch host. He excuses her behavior by stating "As long as she says "With all due respect" first. He seems to be a nice enough guy, just he has a lack of knowledge about protocols. On the whole we would welcome him in but not her or her friend as the other is just as rude. I have looked through etiquette books, gone through every protocol I can find or think of but can not find a way to invite him yet exclude her. I wondered if anyone here would have access to some information I lack that would enable us to not have to deal with her.
Who's perception of the apparently offending submissive is that she is rude? Is this your perception or your domina's perception? It might be both, but my point is that behavior that you find unacceptable in the way someone treats your domina may not bother her at all. That doesn't make her right, wrong, less dominant or an ice queen. Some folks, in social situations, consider how much the offending person means to them and then choose to ignore poor form, especially if the offender is not a personal concern for them. Sort of an "I pick and choose my battles and what I let bother me, and this is not important enough for either" kind of attitude. It's also common for submissives who have domina's that can adopt that attitude to feel rather defensive and protective of their mistress, particularly if they're not the sort to let things slide as a general rule.
So, how much of your angst is caused by your own preferences in this situation and how much of it is about your mistress? If she finds proximity to this person as distasteful as you do then the answer is clear, no invitation should be sent. If you're asked why by the folks you didn't invite then you can be forthright - "You know, I grieved myself over that decision and this is what I decided and why..." then you've got a beautiful segue into having the conversation you can't decide whether to have. You let them come to you for the information (rather than taking drama to them) and use the opportunity to have a frank but compassionate discussion. They may never ask and if they don't then they didn't really care as much as you worried they might. I would refrain from discussing your reasons with third persons (other than your domina) who might know them. A simple discussion can run a grapevine and become very ugly and blown out of proportion by the time it makes its way back around.
Or, you could just ask your domme.
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“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein
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RE: A Matter of Protocol and Etiquette - 
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RE: A Matter of Protocol and Etiquette - 
RE: A Matter of Protocol and Etiquette - 
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