RE: Is it ok to be cynical?

RE: Is it ok to be cynical? (Full Version)

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domiguy -> RE: Is it ok to be cynical? (4/25/2010 7:27:14 AM)
I was personally pleased that the girl was all better and apparently well on the road to recovery after only 5 weeks from attempting to put an exclamation point on her existence. I was also pleased that she had pursued a higher education at the UoHK. .......Go Knockers!!!...Go!!!

Mercnbeth -> RE: Is it ok to be cynical? (4/25/2010 7:48:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz I'm perhaps a little cynical... is this genuine? or is it an attention whore trying to get some sympathy? Cynical? No - I think you're being pragmatic. Many people live lonely sad lives and need to create persona to hide behind hoping to get attention. Some go as far as cowardly hiding behind another person's picture. But what the hell - for the same reason people watch soap operas people come to CM. It's distracting, sometimes interesting, and regularly amusing. Regarding the people, I feel sorry for them but appreciate their condition. Being a fool in public is preferable to being alone, lonely and without attention of any kind. quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael I just found out I have an aneurysm in my brain and since I can't afford medical care, I want to have this guy I met in a chatroom operate on me but he hasn't done it before, can anyone help us do this surgery? My dungeon is your dungeon - as you know I already have the anti-bacterial spray ready! I'll film it for you too! I think good 'skull fucking' scenes are HOT!

DesFIP -> RE: Is it ok to be cynical? (4/25/2010 11:44:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub i have no sympathy for anyone who would kill them self, whether they mean it or not....its the pussy way out, and does nothing for them, except hurt the ones they leave behind... Actually it's a result of insanity. MRI scans of suicides consistently show changes in the brain that do not exist elsewhere. Having a couple of suicidal episodes in my past, I can attest to this. You aren't thinking straight when this happens. You can't because your brain is sick.

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: Is it ok to be cynical? (4/25/2010 12:00:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveluci quote: ORIGINAL: jbcurious Have people become so dehumanized here that someone's trauma whether real or imagined is cause to treat them in such a cruel manner? Yes. quote: Are we so afraid of being duped that we lash out so we don´t get taken in? Yes. quote: There are people who don´t have anyone to talk to... or they´re afraid of the reactions they will get, or they´re ashamed of what has happened, or they genuinely think that their story will help another from experiencing the same thing. Should they be ridiculed and called a liar? Not in my opinion. I'm very cynical myself. But if I read something that doesn't ring true, I just overlook it and keep going. Engaging the person simply to call them out is pretty pointless, I think. quote: Are people who are in the lifestyle so protective of it and the reputation it may get if negative things are discussed that they immediately make someone look foolish for having a bad experience? No, I just think some people are so pathetic they live to shred total strangers. They talk about how pathetic it is that someone would come to a place like this for understanding and sympathy and perhaps it is. How much more pathetic though to be eagerly waiting to kick 'em in the head when they do! That was an absolutely wonderful post. Too bad your view is in the minority. This could be a really nice forum if the mentality of the pack were a little different.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: Is it ok to be cynical? (4/25/2010 4:26:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub i have no sympathy for anyone who would kill them self, whether they mean it or not....its the pussy way out, and does nothing for them, except hurt the ones they leave behind... Actually it's a result of insanity. MRI scans of suicides consistently show changes in the brain that do not exist elsewhere. Having a couple of suicidal episodes in my past, I can attest to this. You aren't thinking straight when this happens. You can't because your brain is sick. i guess i just dont get it.....i have had battles with depression and panic attacks since my late 20's. Each time i knew something was wrong, and it just took getting to the point to seek help for it. hurting me never entered my mind. i should have said, in my life experience, anyone who talked about suicide was just looking for fukn sympathy. the ones who committed suicide just did it.... i cant imagine being that kind of sick in the brain to want to kill me, but then again, at 25 i couldnt have imagined panic attacks paralyzing me! a kinda funny "suicide story, names changed to protect the moronic... my aunt gertie called my mom one day and said well, i have good news and i have bad news....which ya want first? mom said give me the good news first. aunt gertie says "well, jimbob tried to kill himself". mom says whats the bad news? gertie says "the dumb sumbish cant even do that right, he lived" and i am glad you got un-brainsick.

JessicaSavage -> RE: Is it ok to be cynical? (4/25/2010 6:41:29 PM)
I skimmed through the rest of the thread but didn't see much interesting there so I just wanted to say what every one else seems to pussyfoot around. If you spill your guts on the internet you deserve whatever anyone wants to dish out, in my opinion.

allthatjaz -> RE: Is it ok to be cynical? (4/26/2010 12:36:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub i have no sympathy for anyone who would kill them self, whether they mean it or not....its the pussy way out, and does nothing for them, except hurt the ones they leave behind... Actually it's a result of insanity. MRI scans of suicides consistently show changes in the brain that do not exist elsewhere. Having a couple of suicidal episodes in my past, I can attest to this. You aren't thinking straight when this happens. You can't because your brain is sick. After suffering the aftermath of a two suicides, one a family member and one a friend, I have to agree with DesFip. I will also add to that, that I take the threat of suicide very seriously. My family member did it without a word to any of us but my friend warned us in what we later realized was a desperate cry for help. We chose to brush it off as attention seeking. We didn't only have to live with her suicide but also the guilt that we perhaps could of stopped it.

CountrySong -> RE: Is it ok to be cynical? (4/26/2010 1:05:19 AM)
I've experienced two suicidal depressions in my life and have met many people who have experienced the same. I also lived for years with a rapid cycling bi-polar person who went suicidal about eveny three months or so. It is often very hard to put up with people who are cyclically suicidal or even just talking about suicide. Often it is an emotional defence to ignore what they are saying because it wears at you emotionally. Whenever I start to feel that way with someone I know I listen to this - http://www.archive.org/details/TomWoottonMyBestFriendKilledHimself Peace

allthatjaz -> RE: Is it ok to be cynical? (4/26/2010 2:00:31 AM)
Like Phoenixpower, if something truly affects me, I won’t declare it on the boards. I may well write to someone privately if I can relate and feel I can offer some comfort but I won’t reveal something about myself openly that is still hurting. In my opinion that is far too dangerous. Stella pointed out isolation. Not the isolation of having no friends but the isolation of ‘the inner prisoner’ and I believe its much more likely to get open confessions or even outbursts from someone who silently carries a burden. People often seek therapy from an uninterested party because telling a stranger is easier than telling family and friends. I think that’s something we should consider. I don’t come here to read about depressing things and I am sure that none of us do. I come here hoping for light hearted banter and sometimes fiery debates and I put my hand up and admit that some posts make me sigh and not want to read them because they are so depressing. Like jbcurious, I am often saddened by the snide comments I see. It is a form of bullying. People laugh and make a joke about it and try to give out the impression that they are intolerant, hard nosed toughies. Constructive toughness is often a needed wake up call but most of its not constructive, just hurtful. Lally, slaveluci and cpK69 thank you for telling us that you laid yourself bare and been disbelieved and how that made you feel. I agree that telling a group of people who don’t know you from Adam about something that has wounded you, a huge risk. Like you La Tigresse, I try to stay away from melodrama and in rl it’s a fairly easy thing to spot. On here its really only possible to spot from people who consistently post about their troubles or seem to be in competition with anyone else’s trauma. In rl I often make myself unpopular by telling gossips and trouble makers to ‘fuck off’. I’m not proud of myself for doing that because it always leads to confrontation but I don't have a conscience about it because I never go for vulnerable people. It keeps my life clean and honest and ensures that the people around me are not gossips, trouble makers or bullies. Online I have more patience because I don’t have a choice but that’s not to say that some things don’t get to me. Like you, I dealt with my old personal shit way back and I would never write about it on here if I thought I could be effected by some snide comment but sometimes I get these little reminders of how I once felt and I think to myself ‘oh my god, I remember how that made me feel. I don’t laugh and make a joke out of it or tell them they are nuts even if I do believe they are making the whole thing up because I don’t really know the truth, I can only guess.

allthatjaz -> RE: Is it ok to be cynical? (4/26/2010 2:11:40 AM)
Countrysong, thank you, that was a very enlightening tape. I have never been to that dark place but I understand that people do. I used to believe that people who spoke about it would never really do it. I have found out since that people who do talk about it need help.

DesFIP -> RE: Is it ok to be cynical? (4/26/2010 10:28:59 AM)
In some families, heart disease is hereditary. In mine, suicide is. SSRIs did not come out until the 90s. Prior to that there was no effective treatment. Talk therapy alone will not bring you out of a suicidal episode. Because talk therapy can take years to be effective and someone in that much pain doesn't have years. Electro shock therapy can be very helpful but 40 years ago, when I tried to talk my doctor into it, it left you with holes in short term memory. Not a trade off most people are willing to accept. And my doctor wasn't going to take a kid who had just been accepted into an Ivy League college and do this to her. Since the development of SSRIs we haven't had a suicide. Episodes sure. The kid or mid lifer gets signed into a psych hospital, an effective medication is found and we get on with our lives. And rates of suicide are related to hormonal changes which is why the rates are so high in teens and the second spike comes in middle age when hormones ebb.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Is it ok to be cynical? (4/26/2010 10:59:58 AM)
Our life is the result of our choices . . . why not then our death? I do not dare presume someone does not have the right to choose death. Should my interaction with them help them achieve their goals in life or death is fine by me. I found my sister at the kitchen table staring at a bottle of pills. She said she "was" going to kill herself. Without hesitation, I pulled out my 45 (pistol) and slapped on the table in front of her. I explained that if she puked up the pills, she wouldn't die and they would “Baker act” her into a nut house where she couldn't control her destiny. Then I told her never to bullshit me about how she feels and asked if she really wanted to die or just wanted attention and/or help. She gave me the gun back. I guess that sorta' sums up my approach and attitude, which answers pretty much answers all of your questions in the OP.

allthatjaz -> RE: Is it ok to be cynical? (4/26/2010 12:37:28 PM)
Oh I did that with my friend too. She called a number of us after taking pills and leaving notes and although it alarmed us at first, we (my friends and me) soon grew tired and whispered behind her back about being an attention seeker and even saying to her 'for christs sake, if you want to kill yourself then just do it'. On that fatal night she called me and I chose not to go round. She died that night... 18 years old... beautiful and with so much to live for but unable to get through the darkness. It was her choice and I don't believe for a moment that it was a selfish act but I do believe she needed people to take her seriously and people who could help her through those tough times. Unfortunately she chose a bunch of ignorant 18 year olds and it was inevitable that we let her down. I'm not excusing myself for being an ignorant kid but perhaps it took her death to make a difference at how I looked at people threatening suicide in my future years. DesFip, ty for that information. I know this thread has gone way off topic but then I'm not surprised

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