caitlyn
Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004 Status: offline
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Some of you may have followed the thread, “The Shape of Things to Come, and taken it in the spirit it was intended … as a theory on the behavior of young women in the modern age, as it relates to the D/s lifestyle. The topic was limited to young women and their relations to men, because the author tends to be a young woman, and tends to date men. People reading this should feel free to substitute age, gender and sexual preference as they see fit. People intent on practicing a bit of free psychoanalysis, up to and including finding small snippets of profiles in order to condemn lifestyle choices, are more than welcome but should know in advance that this author at least, has been shrunk by far better people. Lastly, this is only a theory for discussion, and relates to no specific person. So, with that as a disclaimer … The Shape of Things to Come, Part II Modern society has blurred the roles between men and women. There has been much discussion about this in a variety of threads dealing with feminism, and readers are invited to check them out. We will not rehash them here. This blurring of roles might work well in the workplace, in college and on athletic fields … but from the perspective of the small focus group of my 18 to 20-something friends, the blurring of roles is a huge problem in relationships. I think on of the attractions of this lifestyle, and one of the reasons I think it will continue growing among young people, is that it offers clearly defined roles that people can fit themselves in. In short, I don’t think it’s the greater access that the internet offers that is driving this, or the more ready access to pornography. It may seem that way on the surface, but when you get past the surface, you find lots of things that have gotten this “bump” by internet access, but have died on society's vine. Bottom line … the internet can only drive, what people somehow want … period! So, why would young women want this? The answer is simple … there are clearly defined roles, and a lot of frustration when there aren’t defined roles. Using a personal example: One of the better relationships I have had was with a married man that was cheating on his wife … a relationship where I knew what I was to him, and he knew what he was to me. For us, it worked, and when he got back together with his wife and told me goodbye, it did hurt a little, but I could rationalize it … in that I knew what the score was when I entered the game. Discussing this with one of my friends, she made the comment that she is smart enough to know for herself what who she likes and who she doesn’t, and that all these bullshit society games are just insulting to her intelligence. I found this very interesting, as I feel the same way. If I want to see a guy that has some flaws (maybe a short fuse, or he wants to screw other girls), but is someone that excites me intellectually and physically, then that is my call to make … providing we have clearly defined roles in our relationship and we know each other for what we really are. I feel that on some level, a good D/s relationship has a chance of providing this, and I think it is starting to attract lots of young women to the lifestyle. While I do understand that there will never be 100% clearly defined roles in any situation, I do think that the D/s lifestyle offers at least a chance to know where you stand in a relationship. My honest opinion, is that this is driving the growth of D/s and will continue to do so in the future.
< Message edited by caitlyn -- 4/5/2006 2:01:02 PM >
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