RE: What should I do now...

RE: What should I do now... (Full Version)

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[Poll]

What should I do now...

get several stiff drinks?

30% (4)

blow my happy place up?

0% (0)

Bite my tongue until it bleeds?

0% (0)

borrow Wulfieis shackles?

15% (2)

bury my head in the sand?

0% (0)

order 2 pizzas and fuck up my diet?

0% (0)

call a p-doc because I am really pissed off?

30% (4)

just hang my head in shame?

15% (2)

get me a new daughter?

7% (1)

Total Votes : 13

(last vote on : 4/26/2010 7:48:54 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

Message

ShaharThorne -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 1:51:38 PM)
She does love playing the viola and studying Latin. She does guitar here at home. I just told her that we are not going to the con because the funds for the trip is going to be used for summer school instead. She got up, screaming that no one does not understand her and she deserves this trip. Damn it, she is trying to tear up the house. This is what I deal with when he is not around to witness it (she does the same thing if he tried to establish any and all rules).

pahunkboy -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 1:56:11 PM)
Keep her busy doing things she enjoys. If she holds back a year- then so be it. Sometimes pursuing what you like can lead on to success.

Phoenixpower -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 1:58:34 PM)
Alternatively do you have any local office where you can go to to get advice? Don't know how that is called in your country but back home in Germany there is an office where you can go to get confidential advice in regards to parenting (eg how to get on about things, where to go to, etc). Just saying as it can help sometimes to talk face to face to someone who also might know a lot about procedures how to go about these things.

Daddysredhead -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 2:00:48 PM)
Calling the police is another option. It may be hard to do, but I've done it. When they took Thing 1 in handcuffs to the ER to be evaluated because he started tearing shit up and locked himself in his room a couple of years ago, I had to stand back while he screamed, "MOM!!!!!!!!!!!! Please don't do this!!!!!!!!!! MOM!!!!!!!!!!! Please Mom!!!!!!!!!" You think my heart didn't break inside of my chest and I didn't want to intervene and say, "No, this is too much, let him go, please" ??? Hell yes, I did, but I didn't. I followed him to the ER and waited for a bit, in the parking lot while he was in the care and control of the officers and the ER staff. It freaked Thing 1 out good, especially when I walked by his room, glanced in, saw he was ok, and kept walking to sign the insurance papers, then went to the waiting room, so he knew that what he had done was really off the hook. I knew that my son wanted me in there with him, was scared to death, etc. I cried in the lobby as I waited to get myself under control, then went back to the room, stern yet loving, and said, "You brought this on yourself, son, and you will deal with the natural consequences of your actions. It sucks, but you better learn it now." I haven't had to do it again. Not saying I won't have to in the future, but a hard, cold dose of reality can be the best order of business for kids (and parents) who are struggling.

LinnaeaBorealis -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 2:06:15 PM)
God bless you, Red for sharing that.

JonnieBoy -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 2:09:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne Lizard has really done it this time. She keep telling me that everything is fine in school. Mom just read me her report card and again, she is passing only Latin and Music. Why ITH is she lying to me? I cannot be here 24/7 because my treatment is back home. I have to watch the household when Mom goes to Florida and Arkansas in May. Also, she is missing too many classes. She has so many absents I am just hanging on a thread here. I am not allowed to get her to a p-doc. She needs one really badly. Bo does not give a damn and blames it on the teachers. I have to deal with the school yet he is the one who has membership with the PTA (and he raises hell with them). She has to take summer school, 2 semesters, for algebra. The total price is $235. I am having a wee MI due to this. She has failed her freshman year and has to repeat it. Someone just get me amaretto on ice...make that a triple.. Are we talking "minors" here ? (TOS query) Who's the fuck prsonal shit you talking about ? I thought this kinda thing was TOS sensitive !!! Amaretto triples won't help, they'll just make you smell "nutty" Pirate

ShaharThorne -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 2:10:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower Alternatively do you have any local office where you can go to to get advice? Don't know how that is called in your country but back home in Germany there is an office where you can go to get confidential advice in regards to parenting (eg how to get on about things, where to go to, etc). Just saying as it can help sometimes to talk face to face to someone who also might know a lot about procedures how to go about these things. We call it legal aid here. I have used their services before on how to get divorced from a meth head who was missing. From what I heard, they hate getting involved with custody cases (I have seen it before). She did have a guardian ad litem. The case is about 5/6 years old and I could not handle taking care of a child and being hospitalized for my bipolar depression at the same time (kicking the meth head hubby out was a start of getting on track).

Daddysredhead -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 2:11:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LinnaeaBorealis God bless you, Red for sharing that. Thank you. hugs Sometimes it's just good to know you aren't alone, and that others have crossed those waters before you and survived it.

Daddysredhead -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 2:16:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne She did have a guardian ad litem. A guardian ad litem is an attorney who looks after the interest of the child, not either parent. You may be assigned a gal once you go the court services office and tell them what you are needing. If it goes before the judge, and he or she determines that the child's interests need representation, then one will be appointed for her. Using the system that is in place can be a huge benefit in the long run, ST. Don't be scared. You can do this. It's part of your job as a mother... to do the really hard things. You CAN get her the help she needs. Don't let yourself get defeated before you even try. In the end, it's your daughter who loses. offers mama hugs

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 2:33:39 PM)
Red, I had tears in my eyes reading this. Thank you for sharing your story; I can't imagine how hard it was for you to do that, necessary though it was. huge hugs

lusciouslips19 -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 2:45:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne She does love playing the viola and studying Latin. She does guitar here at home. I just told her that we are not going to the con because the funds for the trip is going to be used for summer school instead. She got up, screaming that no one does not understand her and she deserves this trip. Damn it, she is trying to tear up the house. This is what I deal with when he is not around to witness it (she does the same thing if he tried to establish any and all rules). Why is he the parent in custody when he clearly provides no boundaries? I just gotta ask?

littlewonder -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 3:24:00 PM)
I feel for ya. I have a h.s. senior daughter who I'm going through much of the same thing with who definitely won't be graduating this year. I've done everything under the sun...had her committed, therapist after therapist, medications that she absolutely refuses to take, counselors and teachers who have made her a special needs student but she still refuses to attend school, tried cyber school, still refused to attend even that..you name it I've done it short of throwing her out on her ass which is most likely coming in the next month or two if she either doesn't get her GED and/or a job. Sometimes there's only so much you can do before you finally have to take a step back and let them fail and learn life the hard way. Feel free to join me in a few rounds of drinks!

ShaharThorne -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 4:56:34 PM)
He is a charmer. Besides I was going through a rough time, dealing with a meth head of a hubby, newly DX with bipolar and on the edge of homelessness and I felt that rather she be in a safe place. He arranged it that I had to have supervised visitation. A month later, I moved up to close to my parents and to get better treatments for the mental illness. Quite a few times, I would quit taking my meds and fall back into the rapid cycling that I would not wish anyone. I did go back to him for a wee while but Travis County MHMR leaves a lot to be desired. It had to take an institution in TN to find the right kind of meds that works for me. These days, I am calmer, I do fight off the anger urges by playing video games and coming down here once a month to participate in school activities. Bo's schedule for working does not allow him to do these things and he feels like he has to buy her love. I feel that he is spoiling her (PS3, PS2, Ninentdo 64 and cube). I do pay for her lunch online so I know she is eating right. The government sends her a check since I am disabled (the bipolar with psychotic episodes). I live rent free with my mother and I have Medicare with Part D for my meds. I am paying off my student loans. As long as I don't get triggered, I am okay. Bo wants me to move back in, but my mother is my custodian. As long as I make my appointments, I can be here. In fact, Wednesday Thursday and Friday, I have my regular doctor appt, the nurse/p-doc for my medication update and the dentist to remove one last cavity. Of course there is my brothers' family, where I spoil my nieces. I have to stay with my mother because she is going to Florida to see my other brother while he is on furlong from Afghanistan and the family reunion in Arkansas. Someone has to take care of Georgie, the blind cocker.

pahunkboy -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 5:34:03 PM)
FR: I am for the moment- glad it is just me. No kids- no partner. Any mess I made it. Tho I do own a nice cat.

ShaharThorne -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 5:52:07 PM)
I wish I had a camera! Binx (orange tabby) was spreaded out on her belly. Kinda reminds me of the witch that hits a tree pose.

Daddysredhead -> RE: What should I do now... (4/26/2010 11:08:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth Red, I had tears in my eyes reading this. Thank you for sharing your story; I can't imagine how hard it was for you to do that, necessary though it was. huge hugs Thank you, Zephy. It was hard, and it tore a piece of my heart out, but I didn't know what else to do. I don't regret what I did because it needed to happen. Sometimes tough love on a child is what grows them up into decent adults who know better. hugs hugs back

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