Do You Pursue if ...

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LadyOddsworth -> Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 11:53:26 AM)
you meet a sub you are really taken with? Or, do you let him know of your interest and let it be? Personally, I don't like to pursue men, it doesn't feel right, but being the D, maybe I should take a more proactive approach with some of them. What do you subs think?? Do you want to be "claimed"? Thanks,

GraciousLady -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 12:08:32 PM)
Until a sub is owned they can do as they please. If I am interested I let my feelings be known and ask them if they would like to be considered. If they say yes then I take the lead and we both see if things will work or not.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 1:21:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyOddsworth maybe I should take a more proactive approach with some of them. There are no "shoulds". Do what feels natural and comfortable for you. This way, when you DO find someone, you're basing the relationship on yourself, not a persona, right from the start. Master Fire

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 1:49:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyOddsworth you meet a sub you are really taken with? Or, do you let him know of your interest and let it be? Personally, I don't like to pursue men, it doesn't feel right, but being the D, maybe I should take a more proactive approach with some of them. 'Pursue' is quite a dramatic word-there's a middle ground between being a damsel up in a tower somewhere waiting for your shiny knight to call, and clubbing the nearest bandit over the head with a handy blunt object, piking his horse and making off like blue thunder in chase of said knight while whirling a lasso over your head... This stuff can be more mutual, y'know? Direct statements about what you want are one way of gaining momentum without having to KO any bandits-you could say 'I would like to have coffee with you some time', or 'I would like to have dinner with you some time' or whatever it is you would like to do (picnic? clay pigeon shooting? tour of a whisky factory?) and if s/he's motivated enough then coffee (etc) will appear! (I suck at organisation and I am fundamentally pretty lazy, so this is the approach I find the handiest).

Dilseachd -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 2:11:42 PM)
Frankly...I want to be "hunted". I have alot to offer..and I want to see someone who has the tenacity to pursue and hunt me down. Just my opinion.

PeonForHer -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 2:34:45 PM)
I've seen this hammered out on this forum before, Lady O. I think that at some ideal, philosophical level, it makes sense for a female dominant to pursue a male submissive. However, that goes against not just hundreds of years of culture, but also the way most women are brought up, even today. Granted, there are women who love to do this pursuing. But for others, it won't feel at all 'natural'. (It won't feel 'natural' to a large number of male submissives, either, I'd bet.) All of which leads me simply to echo MasterFireMaam's advice: 'Do what feels natural and comfortable for you'.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 2:54:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dilseachd Frankly...I want to be "hunted". I have alot to offer..and I want to see someone who has the tenacity to pursue and hunt me down. Just my opinion. Good luck with that.[8\|]

pyroaquatic -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 2:55:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyOddsworth you meet a sub you are really taken with? Or, do you let him know of your interest and let it be? Personally, I don't like to pursue men, it doesn't feel right, but being the D, maybe I should take a more proactive approach with some of them. What do you subs think?? Do you want to be "claimed"? Thanks, I do like the feeling that comes from being claimed. Like a transparent blanket. Meet Halfway. If you find things both parties can relate on then we have the Claimed and the Claimer, if both parties agree. Aggression.

Dilseachd -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 6:16:02 PM)
@lusciouslips19 Ive had lots of luck at it. Currently have a wonderful Lady who stalked me and pursued me until she brought me down. Differant kinks for differant folks. :) Lots of luck to you as well.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 6:29:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dilseachd @lusciouslips19 Ive had lots of luck at it. Currently have a wonderful Lady who stalked me and pursued me until she brought me down. Differant kinks for differant folks. :) Lots of luck to you as well. Funny, your profile doesnt mention this. Most women on either side of the slash want courtliness and someone paying them attention and being pursued. But in any event, good luck with your stalker.

Lockit -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 6:36:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dilseachd @lusciouslips19 Ive had lots of luck at it. Currently have a wonderful Lady who stalked me and pursued me until she brought me down. Differant kinks for differant folks. :) Lots of luck to you as well. It's the kilt... we've all heard what's under those. [;)]

Lockit -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 6:41:35 PM)
I don't pursue. I will let my interest be known. Oh I used to do the hunt thing, but these days I'm more nonchalant about it all. In the right setting, I will let someone know if I am interested, but hunting/pursuing just doesn't work for me. I love the flirt game and I am more likely to do it in person than I am around here.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 6:47:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit quote: ORIGINAL: Dilseachd @lusciouslips19 Ive had lots of luck at it. Currently have a wonderful Lady who stalked me and pursued me until she brought me down. Differant kinks for differant folks. :) Lots of luck to you as well. It's the kilt... we've all heard what's under those. [;)] Yes, its easy to take a man down when you can grab hold of his handle because he doesnt have his knickers on![:D]

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 7:04:42 PM)
Lady Oddsworth, Actually i like Your question. Because it is a good one. As a man, i am quite aware of the differences in what appeals to a man. And generally, i tend to agree with Vaguely Curious and Her reply to You. i am sure though, You will find a mix of answers here, as always. But here goes ... myself, i am most attracted by consistent concern/questions/inquiry into how i am doing ... as well as enough information about Yourself ... so i know who i am responding to. For example ... if You are a bartender at the pub, with a high school education, i might answer You one way. If You are an instructor ... dean ... or what ever at a college ... i will answer You differently. Yes, it is a bit of an extreme example ... but i do have a point. It is the subtle ... i am interested ... but ... you have to see it over time ... and wake up to it .... approach that works best on me. i call it intrigue. It takes some time and effort ... then again ... men put time and effort into chasing a Woman ... so they can appreciate it. When they wake up to it. <chuckles> :) Good luck on this topic ... because Your mileage will really vary ... on this one.

Dilseachd -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 7:20:46 PM)
lusciouslips. You didnt read my journal or you would see I am in a relationship...and though I said Stalk..not the same. I suppose I chose the wrong word. In essance I meant...someone who has the tenacity to keep after someone they want. I of course always treated her with respect and courtesy and have always been a gentleman. We started out as just friends who played, but she wanted more and in time she didnt give up and go look elsewhere...tenacity..huntress. She found the things to make me want to enter into a relationship with her that was more than just friends/play partners. Really...Im not shallow and I know many a submissive man who would prefer someone to agressively court them..they just wont admit it. The one person who has genuinely stalked me over the years...I have nothing to do with. Regards, Dils

becca143 -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 7:26:05 PM)
As a sub, I've experienced both methods of courting, both a Dom taking immediate control, giving commands, and Doms that express interest and take a more traditional courting approach. I have mixed feelings on both. The control approach has a certain sex appeal to me as a sub. I of course love that kind of dominance, but there's a fine line, and crossing it with TPE before ownership is a real turn off. It seems that traditional courting works out best long term. In my opinion anyway! :)

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 7:51:24 PM)
You know ... now that i think of it ... there are so many DIFFERENT approaches that can work. After i posted ... i thought of some of the flirts i have known ... and yes .. they could (have) nailed me quickly. Every one is soooo different. So i will share this one ... because it is sooo funny. i was out to a business lunch with two other guys ... on a lake ... in the summer ... the restaurant/bar overlooked the lake ... we sat at a table ... the waitress/bartender walked over to take the order ... i was last ... she looked at me and said ... what do you want .... i said ... what i want is not on the menu .... Calmly, she removed the menu from my hands ... tossed it onto the floor ... then stood on it .... She looked me right in the eye and said ... "Now is it on the menu?" i chased after her for two weeks ... before we figured out we had nothing in common. The point being ... a great flirt ... can be worth its weight in gold! Told ya, this is a really tough question! LOL

LadyAngelika -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 7:59:11 PM)
~FR~ I've hunted quite a bit but discovered that the strong boys tend to be skittish as they aren't used to women hunting. So if I want to get a man I'm interested in, I'll just set a little trap and lure him in. Next thing he knows, he's all caught up in my net! ;-) - LA

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 8:17:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika strong boys tend to be skittish as they aren't used to women hunting i think You mean Women Hunted ... cause we try to do a lot of women hunting .... ;-) But i will say ... You might just be surprised. A lot of women ... try to make us prey ... YET .... i will add ... depending on how clever Your trap is ... it just could work. Because wit and originality get a lot of points ... too. So if there is a moral here for Lady Oddsworth ... i would say ... You have to find Your own style ... what You are comfortable with ... and what works for You. But never feel "Personally, I don't like to pursue men, it doesn't feel right" because Women in every walk of life ... do ... Each just has Her own style and polish and approach. And at the risk of sounding old ... You are using an old fashioned belief ...

LadyAngelika -> RE: Do You Pursue if ... (4/27/2010 8:42:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika strong boys tend to be skittish as they aren't used to women hunting While i think You mean Women Hunted ... cause we try t do a lot of women hunting .... ;-) No, I meant what I wrote. Men are not used to women hunting, as in women who are doing the hunting. quote: i will add ... depending on how clever Your trap is ... it just could work. That has been my experience so far ;-) - LA

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