How nice...

How nice... (Full Version)

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ModeratorOne -> How nice... (9/15/2004 4:35:55 AM)
Anything posted here is my personal opinion and not necessarily the opinion of Collarme.com Yanno, I was just answering some of the hundreds of support mails that we get, and it never ceases to amaze me the nastiness that some people have. I sometimes really wonder about some of the people who write in. We have had people tell us all kinds of nasty things, telling us they have contacted the FBI, tell us things that we have to 'correct right away!' all types of threats. If you can think it, we've heard it, but tonight I just finally got fed up. There has been a user who has consistently violated our rules (yes we do have a few if you want to post to our site) and has continued to harass and make threats. Its gotten to the point where I just find these support mails humorous and so I decided to share a couple with all of you and maybe get some sympathy for our awesome support staff who has to put up with all of this. quote: Explain to me why this journal entry was not approved! Do I REALLY need to take this matter to free speech advocacy groups and have your site dragged into the limelight as an example of unlawful prohibition of personal expression? Just so you know, internet sites such as yours fit the definition of: "a "public forum," a place open to the public where information is freely exchanged" This is per a 2002 California appeals court decision. The expression of personal opinions is considered speech "protected by law" on such public forums. I also have saved examples of other members' journals which are on your site -right now-, which have similar content even up to and including naming specific other members as not being who/what they claim. This makes it even MORE difficult for you to establish any circumstance in which my journal entry could not be allowed on your site. I WANT to be nice about this, but face it, your site is FULL of fakes, frauds, and liars. I have run into a number of them, and I have them documented. For me to expose them for who they are should not be considered a bad thing. If anything, there should be a complaint system where complaints against members are posted for everyone to see...a "Better Business Bureau" type forum where anyone can check another member's ID to find if they have complaints against them for being other than what they claim. With so many women vulnerable to online predators...especially submissive women with psychological disorders and/or low self-esteem, some form of warning system would in fact be a highly desirable feature on a site such as yours. In the absence of such a system, I will provide anyone who requests it a listing of those I have encountered who did not live up to their claims. Wouldn't it be more appropriate to crack down on the fakes than on those using your site legitimately? Another small clip of one of the same persons support mails quote: Now comes the fun part. I have checked with an attorney and you do NOT have the right to restrict journal entries due to content. If one member wishes to criticize other members, it is their right. If the other member feels they have been slandered, it's up to -them- to seek civil redress. If your site was only for personals ads, that would be different. However, you accept profiles from those who are not seeking partners and who only wish to use your chat facilities. You have set your site up as a free public forum and to deny the members the right to post what they wish is in violation of the US Constitution's guarantee of free speech (freedom of expression). I suggest you modify your policies before someone decides to file a lawsuit. In the meantime, I ask that you approve my journal entry as written. (Name Removed) Bear it mind these are just small fish compared to some of the stuff we get, but this one person has sent sooo many messages like this and complaining, claiming he has the right to slander anyone he wants on our site that it finally got to me.

theroebabe -> RE: How nice... (9/15/2004 5:05:54 AM)
HI Mod One, I for one thank you for the service you provide, but i know i could not sit thru all those emails and read them which is why i havent offered, i would be sending out nasty notes right and left lolol. It is better to let cooler heads prevail and thats not me at times. Thanks for the hard workand service you provide us! Roe

ModeratorThree -> RE: How nice... (9/15/2004 5:06:21 AM)
There are always people that have nothing better to do than bitch. I sometimes wonder if they spend their days hunting up people to bitch at. When you join this site you agree to rules. Rules that are legally binding- so therefore the argument is pointless. When you agree to the TOS you are legally agreeing to abide by the rules of the site. And while it may be "public" you still have to JOIN and agree to the TOS. It is not like other message boards where anyone can post. SO while it may be public it is also by membership, a membership in which you agree to abide by the rules. As far as the earlier person today flameing the boards-- how can one person "OWN" a name?? Can I go around sueing people that have the same name as me? Or should I file suit against their familys for dareing to not make sure the name was unique? Come on people- get real please! Some days this job is annoying. At least one other person has my same EXACT name and birthday- he lives in NJ and is a 5'2 black male- with an extensive criminal history. I know this because I have had to deal with it. And explain my own identity. And I am sure there are many others with my name as well. my own views and opinions- completely seperate from CollarMe Mod3

ModeratorThree -> RE: How nice... (9/15/2004 5:11:49 AM)
Quick add on here- I have had an employee at the department of motor vehicles tell me I have to prove who I am.. when I tried to explain ( while obviously pregnant) I was an almost 5'9 female of Irish decent. He looked at me and told me you can change your sex now a days.... I looked him square and said, true.. but I cannot change my damn color or height! I actually had to prove to the state of NJ I was not the other "me" and get a letter of clearance from that state in order to obtain a drivers license in another! Mod3

sweetpleaser -> RE: How nice... (9/15/2004 6:04:49 AM)
EEeeeassch!! I'm glad I don't have to read these complaints on a daily basis. I commend all the Mods' work and frankly, I prefer this site because of the rules!! I have been on other sites and chats and people can be real nasty. I like being in an atmosphere where people are civil. So, keep up the good work--we appreciate you. Sincerely, ann

January -> RE: How nice... (9/15/2004 7:13:36 AM)
You know, the assumption that "freedom of speech" means permission to write/say anything you want is both irritating and wrong. Folks who write you about "free speech" should actually read the constitution. "Freedom of speech" refers to government laws (US laws, of course) which attempt to forbid free discourse. The constitution does NOT address a citizen telling another citizen to shut up. I'll bet you these letter writers would have no problem telling some guy who's talking in a movie theater to quiet down. Or maybe even tell the loud-mouth to shut the flying fuck up. Is that violating the movie-talker's "free speech"? Yup. Is it unconstitutional. Nope. Your letter writer would be even more upset if a visitor in his own home started getting verbally abusive. Let's say the visitor made lewd comments about the wife, breaking a house rule. The rule is: "We don't say the mother of my children is a nice piece of ass." The visitor might get kicked out of the house. Violating free speech. Yes. Not unconstitutional, though. So why is collarme any different than the real world? Somebody owns the site. That somebody and his/her proxies has every right to monitor profiles and censure journals and write rules for written behavior. January

LadyBeckett -> RE: How nice... (9/15/2004 7:38:02 AM)
This was just really interesting to me this morning. I feel ya here. Sometimes I just don't understand people at all, and they just amaze me. I was reading this persons messages to you and wondering if perhaps s/he wears a super hero costume around the house. Or maybe just while they are at the computer perusing sites like collarme? There have been a couple of times that I've encountered those here that I believed, at the time, maybe I should warn others about. Later I realize, for one reason or the other, that had I posted their name in a public forum would have been a tragic mistake on my part, for different reasons that have become clear between then and now. I actually remain in communication with two males that would apply there. They came back to me with explanations for their behavior, after having taken a lengthy pause following my having laid down the smack down on them. [;)] Truthfully we should be responsible enough, and capable of policing ourselves, controlling ourselves. However, being the delightful, delicious BDSM lifestyle humans that we are, we are far too busy being delightful and delicious to do that, therefore we have you, The Mods, to do that for us. Do you all like homemade Scottish Shortbread? [;)]

theroebabe -> RE: How nice... (9/15/2004 8:48:00 AM)
hi Lady Beckett, i agree that some people need to be smacked some times as they need to grow up! Acting like silly children on a site such as this, well its dispicable i tell ya! And i know the mods have a difficult enough job without this type of behaviour from the rest of us good children (heheheheh). So if they dont like Scottish Shortbread i will certainly not be shy and say I DO I DO! please? Roe

Guest -> RE: How nice... (9/15/2004 10:01:43 AM)
It's ok Mod One, I know exactly how you feel. It was basically what I said before my unexpected break as a Mod. I am even betting I know who you are talking about. There were some that misunderstood my rant a while ago, and my comments that I HATE being a moderator. I hate it because it's sad that it is needed to moderator to make people follow basic rules, common courtesy's and to appreciate a free site. I hate it because I, too, am a believer in free speech. But, just as you can't yell fire and a crowded theater, those who throw tempertantrums because we won't approve the journal entries where all they do is trash others need to realize something. Discrimination isn't legal, yet look at the places that have signs that say "Management has the right to refuse service" and it's legal. It is descrimination to not post what someone said because they are a female (as an example). The fact that they happen to BE a female is not, however, the same as discrimination if the reason the thing is cut is because it is against the TOS THEY themselves agreed to when joining the site. I don't have the power to ban, only to suggest to the PTB. I have also said I am always willing to hear complaints (and try to deal with them) at ModeratorFour on the Collarme side of the site. I'd love the moderator job to become obsolete because everyone was following the simple, basic rules of the site. But, until that time (which I don't see coming), I will continue to enforce the rules of the site because I actually believe that even with problems like this, this is over all the best site I have seen on the web for those who have interests in BDSM. Mod4

proudsub -> RE: How nice... (9/15/2004 11:32:39 AM)
quote: i agree that some people need to be smcaked some times as they need to grow up! If they're on this site they just might enjoy that too much[;)]. The moderators here do a great job, let me thank you one more time!!

ShadeDiva -> RE: How nice... (9/18/2004 4:34:12 AM)
Ditto that. smile ~ShadeDiva

Sundew02 -> RE: How nice... (9/18/2004 11:50:28 AM)
I find the use of the phrase "freedom of speech" so over used that I wonder how these people would fair in another country? Do I voice my disapproval of the government? Yes. Do I put my unwanted 2 cents in about laws and restrictions that I feel unfair in my city? Yes. Do I feel that I have the right to say "you are a moron"? Well, yes but not in an open forum. No, I do not have the right to tell other people that they are not a part of D/s. Moderator four said we do not have the right to yell "fire" in a public place, well we do IF we see a fire, or by pulling a fire alarm which electronically yells it for us(alarm sounding). A fire that can be seen and can cause physical harm to others (varified by many). It is the misuse of the right that causes the problem. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. I will not break the TOS rules as I gave my word when I joined not to do so. If your word is no good, then what does that make you? Sundew

gitta -> RE: How nice... (9/18/2004 12:02:44 PM)
What i find here on collarme is for the most part a good group of people, who share common ideas. What i dislike most is the ones who whine about their precious rights being violated, sheesh get a grip. We all signed up to be here, in doing so agree to the TOS. If people feel this site is not giving them what they seek, then leave it. As for the moderstors here, my deepest gratitude to each and everyone of You. Takes alot to tolerate and suffer fools. What i have seen is that the moderators act with respect and dignity. They keep this site going for all of us and deserve the respect of each who posts here. Cudos Moderators from a woman who values you all.

Laura -> RE: How nice... (9/18/2004 4:19:17 PM)
I work part time as a cashier in a busy department store. Most people are great, normal at least. If some come to my cash under a cloud or tired, etc I can perk them up with a smile, crack a joke, whatever. I'm a good cashier, known for being fast and friendly. Still, there are always people who think I am beneath them in some way. They purposely try to make me feel worthless and small. I believe they abuse cashiers and other such service staff as a way of making themselves feel they are "a somebody". As if having someone feel lower than they are helps them to rise. Anyway, I do understand how it feels to get that kind of ignorance thrown at you on a daily basis. You have my empathy, if not my sympathy. At least you aren't face to face with them all. :) PS - These people want to feel big. If you let them imagine you're being hurt or put down by them they will keep coming back to badger and belittle you. Some of my happiest moments on cash are smiling right at the maggots when I tell them I don't have to give them an extra discount if I choose not to. That takes the jerks down a peg or three.

compes -> RE: How nice... (9/18/2004 9:33:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Laura Still, there are always people who think I am beneath them in some way. They purposely try to make me feel worthless and small. I believe they abuse cashiers and other such service staff as a way of making themselves feel they are "a somebody". As if having someone feel lower than they are helps them to rise. quote: A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men. --Thomas Carlyle If they are willing to abuse someone in the service industries then they probably abuse people in other ways too. Some bullies never grow up. Compes

ModeratorOne -> RE: How nice... (9/18/2004 10:44:10 PM)
quote: Some of my happiest moments on cash are smiling right at the maggots when I tell them I don't have to give them an extra discount if I choose not to. That takes the jerks down a peg or three. ROFLMAO!!! That was great and made me laugh, thanks! Man, how I wish I could sometimes tell these people whats on my mind! Thanks everyone for all the kind words! ModOne

SweetlyMisguided -> RE: How nice... (12/16/2004 12:35:51 PM)
quote: Now comes the fun part. I have checked with an attorney and you do NOT have the right to restrict journal entries due to content. If one member wishes to criticize other members, it is their right. If the other member feels they have been slandered, it's up to -them- to seek civil redress. If your site was only for personals ads, that would be different. However, you accept profiles from those who are not seeking partners and who only wish to use your chat facilities. You have set your site up as a free public forum and to deny the members the right to post what they wish is in violation of the US Constitution's guarantee of free speech (freedom of expression). I suggest you modify your policies before someone decides to file a lawsuit. In the meantime, I ask that you approve my journal entry as written. Now comes the fun part. I have checked with an attorney and you do NOT have the right to restrict journal entries due to content. If one member wishes to criticize other members, it is their right. If the other member feels they have been slandered, it's up to -them- to seek civil redress. If your site was only for personals ads, that would be different. However, you accept profiles from those who are not seeking partners and who only wish to use your chat facilities. You have set your site up as a free public forum and to deny the members the right to post what they wish is in violation of the US Constitution's guarantee of free speech (freedom of expression). I suggest you modify your policies before someone decides to file a lawsuit. In the meantime, I ask that you approve my journal entry as written. Someone obviously has too much time on his/her hands... Considering that they "SUPPOSIDLY" went so far as to contact an attorney ah huh... sure... yeah... However, my question is, if they sue, what do they hope to gain? I mean come on! Seriously though... since this is a FREE site for all the users, they could hope to gain control of the domain name... Which henseforth would be forward the bills that come along with it. Seriously... bandwidth, site size, Mgs used... Ouch. I can imagine what the monthly bill is here... But I mean... they are practically begging to win something right? Another thing I wonder if this little fellow bothered to ask his attorney was if it was part of the RULES/TOS agreement and he took it to court, couldn't you in return SUE him for frivilous charges? Seriously... sue him for your valuable time, court fees, etc... snickers Gotta love the "I am king/god/lord/ruler of the world and what I say goes because it's how I deem it to be" type of people...

perverseangelic -> RE: How nice... (12/17/2004 10:21:19 AM)
I love college. I took a class on banned books two quarters ago. In doing my term project, I learned a LOT about free speach. I think this person would be amazed at just how limited free speach is. IE- in semi-public forums (most public places, actually. Libraries, public parks, publicly owned lands, sidewalks stuff like that) it is 100% legal to restrict based on form but not content. That is, I can say "I don't want you to be yelling out here before 10am" or "I don't want you using a radio to play out here" technically, and by the above person's understanding, this would be a violation of "free speach" but it ain't. Anyway, this isn't even a semi-public forum. It's been a couple quarters, so I can't remember the terminolgoy, but I think it's semi-private. This has nothing to do with the freeness of it, or anything, simply that it belongs to someone else. It's the same as a house or a store. You are 90% allowed to limit speach in a place you own (the 10% being hatespeach and the like) I wish people who spent their time getting up in arms about this actually knew the laws they claimed to be citing.

MistressDREAD -> RE: How nice... (12/26/2004 11:32:37 PM)
When I first came to collarme I informed the Mods that there would be times that I will * break the laws * I knew this when I signed on because knowing ME I knew there would be times I would just have to have My say. I know that My say will sometimes gain Me punishment but I have always tried to be up front in My attacks and always kept things in the public eye so it would be doled out fairly and judged by any and all whom seen what was posted. And Ive served My time when I got in trouble and was put in the corner with the best of em. The Mods do a good job for the most part and alltho I have had times that I have disagreed with some things said or done, Im sure that I have had way more disagree with some things that I have said or done as well. Besides sometimes I like testing Authority.....YANNO![;)]

phoenix52 -> RE: How nice... (12/30/2004 11:51:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetlyMisguided quote: Someone obviously has too much time on his/her hands... Considering that they "SUPPOSIDLY" went so far as to contact an attorney ah huh... sure... yeah... However, my question is, if they sue, what do they hope to gain? I mean come on! i love it when people claim to have contacted attorneys for ridiculous things... i used to work at a mortgage company and people would tell me they sought legal counsel because the Fedex guy left mail from us on their porch without getting a signature. Umm, i dont' know about them, but lawyers i know charge for their services, quite handsomely, do they think we are so stupid we believe they dropped $400 because their feelings are hurt? [8D]

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