Just SEX (Full Version)

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TomCypress -> Just SEX (4/30/2010 5:52:54 AM)

I need to ask this question is BDSM just sex! Ii hold the view point that BSDM goes beyond sex


NOT looking to be flamed just want to know your opinion




Proud Switch

It's only kinky the first time
If people knew how hard I worked to get my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all.



afkarr -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 5:59:50 AM)

It's whatever the people who are doing it together decide it is.



DarkSteven -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 6:10:19 AM)

There's a strong industry of scammers and spammers that thrive off the men who believe that D/s is nothing more than kinky sex.  So there are a lot of folks who believe that way.  That said, I'm not one of them.



lally2 -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 6:11:42 AM)

i believe for a few people it isnt about sex at all.  after the play, they achieve such a level of release that sex becomes unneccessary.

in some relationships ive had, sex almost comes second to play or at least its just another thing to do together with nothing like the same emphasis as in vanilla where sex is the main event and kink if done at all is part of the foreplay.

ive had sex with no bdsm, ive had bdsm with no sex but i havent often had sex and bdsm together and by that i mean penetrative sex.



IronBear -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 6:31:47 AM)

If sex happens it can be jolly great and intense. However I rarely combine the two preferring to reserve my BDSM play time for fun things like lots of bondage (Rope and Chain) and copious amounts of needle play along with a judicious amount of using a crop or two, canes and multiple floggers. But then I may also have a slave who is simply a service slave with no kink at all either way it is all good.  



DesFIP -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 6:47:13 AM)

Some people are in this for the sex only. I do think most people get interested in this because of sex. If it grows to more, great. If they're happy keeping this as bedroom kink only, also great.

There is no should here. It's whatever enhances both of your lives.



BBBTBW -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 7:08:08 AM)

For me, its a way of life...not a lifestyle to engage in when I am in the mood. People use the word "play" a lot. I don't see any of the activities I engage in as play unless it is a game of monopoly etc...The activities I engage in are part of my way of life. A slave is 24/7 whether he is with me or not. He does not cease being my slave just because he is at work, he just wears a different hat. Therefore, it is not all about sex in my world..actually sex plays a very small part....but then again sex to one person might be something else to someone else. Its all about how you define what sex is to you.



Jeffff -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 7:46:49 AM)

If there isn't sex..... I just lost interest.

It may not be JUST about the sex.... But it IS about the sex. (imho)



divi -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 7:49:11 AM)

Its all about the sex ( imho)



Missokyst -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 8:03:13 AM)

I use BDSM for a variety of reasons. Sex is just the fun one.



leadership527 -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 8:17:10 AM)

Carol and I are odd ducks I think in that we don't do either SM or BD. For us, it's pretty much just the DS part and that has nothing to do with sex for us.

In general, I think you're going to find answers all across the board here. One thing I've learned in all my delvings into this is that human relationships are unique and varied.



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 11:21:49 AM)

~Fast Reply~
People are into it for all sorts of reasons but, for me it's not just about the sex, although bdsm does definitely get me hot & i want sex too. i'm an all-the-time submissive rather than a bedroom submissive, the whole package is very fulfilling for me. The sex is much more exciting with bdsm thrown into the mix but, when i belong to a Dom, i'm submissive to Him all the time, not just during sex. i also love the D/s and bondage aspects of it. [:D]

~sweetsub~




Focus50 -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 2:14:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TomCypress

I need to ask this question is BDSM just sex! Ii hold the view point that BSDM goes beyond sex

In a physical sense, a vanilla relationship is just about sex - which can still include toys and props etc.

While a BDSM relationship can fulfill sexual needs, too, I'd soon tire of a sub who was only motivated by sexual needs. I mean, where's the "sex" in having her groom, dress (or not) and present herself according to *MY* rules or whim? Where's the "sex" in having her obey a raft of *MY* everyday rules and guidelines and accepting the consequences for failing to do so?

Sex is a primal need that motivates most people to fulfill. But control and domination of one's partner is primal, too, but only in a relatively small percentage of the population. And for those of us who have that need without being abusive or criminal, we're driven to find complementing submissive partners. And yeah, the biology of our choices says we can still have sex together. It's just that actual sex is a smaller part of what really drives our greater intimate/primal desires.

When I'm between relationships, the hottest sexual words I miss hearing most are "yes Sir!" and "no Sir!" - and the sincerity of action to match. And it just ain't the same hearing it from the local shop assistant because it isn't primal coming from her....

Focus.



blueeyedbbwsub -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 2:32:48 PM)

OP,

To some who want nothing but kinky sex, then yes it's all about the sex. If they want to keep it in the bedroom only, then again, it's all about the sex.

As a submissive it's so much more to me. I like to look after the one who has chosen me in all aspects of life. The D/s side is so fulfilling and sex is an added bonus. It's not the be-all, end-all, it's a *perk* that just adds another dimension to what should be the ultimate relationship.



littlewonder -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 3:20:31 PM)

For me it includes sex because bdsm is part of a long term committed loving relationship for me. But it isn't all about sex. Sex and bdsm are just parts of my relationship with the man I love.



Wolf2Bear -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 4:02:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TomCypress

I need to ask this question is BDSM just sex! Ii hold the view point that BSDM goes beyond sex


NOT looking to be flamed just want to know your opinion




Proud Switch

It's only kinky the first time
If people knew how hard I worked to get my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all.


Yes and No.



dreamerdreaming -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 4:36:10 PM)

It can be about just kinky sex for those who like it that way... Or it can encompass sex and everything else, for those like my slaveboy and I. Still others may not have any sexual component to their BDSM at all. That's why the acronym BDSM is in use: it is an umbrella term.

I much prefer the acronym WIITWD ("What It Is That We Do") because it is even a broader term, meant to represent everything across an even wider spectrum than "BDSM". To me, WIITWD is much more applicable to the dynamic I share with my slaveboy, than "BDSM".

If I were to come up with an acronym that was more specifically descriptive of what my boy and I are into, it'd be something like MACROSH: where M= Mutual (pleasure/fulfillment), Mind/body and Metal, A= Adoration, Attention, self-Actualization, Authenticity and Ambition, C= Control, Comfort, Center, and Chains, R= Restraint, Reciprocal Relationship (and self- Realization), O= Obedience, Opening, and Ownership, S= Service, Slavery and Surrender, and H= Humiliation.

[:)]



ShoreBound149 -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 5:14:09 PM)

I have fucked without BDSM

I have never been engaged in BDSM and not shot a load.



Aileen1968 -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 5:16:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

I have fucked without BDSM

I have never been engaged in BDSM and not shot a load.


Twue dat!



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Just SEX (4/30/2010 5:23:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

~Fast Reply~
People are into it for all sorts of reasons but, for me it's not just about the sex, although bdsm does definitely get me hot & i want sex too. i'm an all-the-time submissive rather than a bedroom submissive, the whole package is very fulfilling for me. The sex is much more exciting with bdsm thrown into the mix but, when i belong to a Dom, i'm submissive to Him all the time, not just during sex. i also love the D/s and bondage aspects of it. [:D]

~sweetsub~

i would like to add to my above post that it's part of a whole, loving relationship for me. If there's no loving relationship, it's just not gonna happen. Period.



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