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RE: For the masochists... - 5/2/2010 8:39:21 PM

laurell3

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I sense that you mean well although as pointed out, the wording of your question implies some judgment that I think is misplaced or just misspoken, so I will attempt to answer this question for myself. There is a wealth of information out there on masochism, do some research on the bdsm sites. There is no one definitnion or motivation that can describe all masochism neatly. For some it's the challenge, for some it is the actual pain, endorphins, humliation, etc, it varies. Responses, goals, feelings, relationship structure all vary as well. For some it isn't sexual at all, for others it's very erotic and all about sex.

For me personally, it's all of that and the challenge, but mostly the actual pain and it is very sexual. It is a misnomer you see often on sites such as these that all masochists can magically transform all painful stimulus to pleasure. There are activities that would be painful to other people that, after years of playing, just are not to me, they are erotic and pain is not something I experience from them and I think it probably is true that you can be trained to enjoy or translate how you expereince stimuli. However, for the majority of activities (for me) while it is true that I will reach a point where I cannot distiguish between pain and pleasure due to the endorphins, believe me, it hurts up to that point and plenty. The difference is, I'm not enduring the pain, I'm enjoying it, immensely and I guess, in a way, soaking it up and experiencing intense sexual arousal from it. For the activities I still have a hard time with, the sexual submission comes into play more in that I still experience pleasure from the fact that it is something he is enjoying and desires, although even then, I mentally enjoy the challenge and will get physically aroused.

My personal hard limits include permanent marks, so I cannot answer for those people you speak of. I would never say "beating the shit out of" or "abuse" is or should be an appropriate characterization for what it is that we do, (and if it is, I personally would question their reasons for doing it). For me personally, with a sadist as a counterpart there's no negative connotations to the exchange anymore than there is for someone getting a blow job from a willing partner and both enjoying it.

There are many people in the lifestyle that certainly have had different experiences and opinions than I have. However, any pain play I do is controlled with a partner I know very well and trust to be the one to make the decision to know when to stop. I've been very selective and fortunate in my choice of partners and enjoyed a level of release and intensity that for me, translates to incredible, consentual, willing, nuturing, loving, mind-blowing, multi-orgasmic sex and zero "beating the shit out of", "abuse" or scarring.

Feel free to message me if you have more specific questions.

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RE: For the masochists... - 5/2/2010 9:33:08 PM

Andalusite

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I am very masochistic in some circumstances and with some kinds of pain, and rather wimpy about most kinds of sudden sharp/stingy pain without any buildup. It isn't necessarily sexual for me, sometimes it's primal, animalistic, or I feel strong for enduring it, or I'm just wrapped in a golden glow where it doesn't hurt a bit. I've used some of the same pain tolerance mechanisms I've developed for play during other kinds of pain (unpleasant doctor/dentist visits, donating blood, coping with a stubbed toe or skinned knee). I generally am more into feeling useful than feeling used, and I generally am not into verbal humilation such as "slut" or "pig." I don't consider it to be abuse, since I only engage in *consensual* S/M. Usually I make it quite clear that I enjoy it and want more, and even when it goes beyond "good pain," there is usually a bittersweet sense of loving hating it, or enjoying my partner's response to my reactions. Anyway, if you aren't interested in masochists, then don't date or otherwise get involved with them! It's pretty simple.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 5/2/2010 9:35:09 PM >

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RE: For the masochists... - 5/3/2010 12:54:25 AM

petmonkey

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Not a pig or slut nor even particularly maso but . .the word "pain" can be translated to "sensation which may cause fear", sometimes the "fear" bit can be shut off, pushed aside or overcome in some manner leaving just "sensation". That sensation can be good, interesting or some combination of pleasurable. If i leave out the giant portion in which i enjoy the evilly gleeful look on a sadist's face as their administering pain (which is a huge portion of my enjoyment of such things), then i'm left with curiosity about my own endurance level and what sort of sensation the pain play produces sans fear.

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RE: For the masochists... - 5/3/2010 1:19:56 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Holy shit – this a forum not an ebook store. I would answer all the questions but if I am going to type up a book, I might as well publish and make profit. Look, OP, you got to be kidding right? Pick one question, something you have a glimmer about and are looking for opinion or clarification. Otherwise, You need to go read a book or something.

Quoted because I haven't read anything that I've agreed with more all day.

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RE: For the masochists... - 5/3/2010 4:08:47 AM

JhonDean

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quote:

I would call myself a masochist that doesn't need dominant skill to take me to the enjoyment of pain but then perhaps I am not a masochist because I enjoy conquering pain.

Concurring pain, I too have a point where pain is no long discomfort.
I don’t seek out pain nor find it pleasurable. Neither is it a motivating factor in my life nor do I view pain as a discipline but I am very much a mental masochist.

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RE: For the masochists... - 5/4/2010 9:32:43 AM

Reptilelover3

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For me being able to take the pain, push through and control my body and deal with it is such a high its better then drugs. I prefer sensation play....harder sensation play. Use the knife, then be all soft and gentle....make me wonder when the next powerfull sensation is coming. I have enjoyed cuttings, brandings and knife play that scares others and am proud to say I LOVED it. Its just inside. Every person deals with situations differently and what one expierences as too rough may be to light for another. I have seen others take things way harder then I ever thought possible, thinking they are insane and WOW can they control themselves, yet I would never want to be them. Its what was right for them, not me.

Every person in this world lives and deals with things different. You like liver and I don't, I like cuttings and you don't. Find who and what works with you and enjoy it.

Oh and I am not a pain slut/pig....but a brat SAM I am.

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RE: For the masochists... - 5/4/2010 9:41:39 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Pain / Pleasure continuum. People fall somewhere on it. The best thing I can describe for it - a really good hard core massage. It hurts like the devil, but you love it. Or... really rough sex that well, hurts like the devil, but you love it.

Or five alarm chili for those who enjoy it. Mouth burning, tears running down their faces and they want more. Is that sick or abusive? And if not, since chili contests are legal everywhere, then why is it okay to enjoy a strong sensation in the sense of taste but not in the sense of touch?

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RE: For the masochists... - 5/12/2010 12:34:33 PM

reporting4duty

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My masochistic side is not the pain loving kind, since pain doesn't turn me on sexually at all. What it does for me to be hurt by a sadist is just another form of being on the receiving end of a primal impulse. I like being on the receiving end of primal impulses. Whatever their need to inflict pain, it is the inflicting and not the pain that matters. Think of an impulse like a bolt of power sent from a source to impact a target, and then consider that some people like being the target receiving the bolt of power. Some like to send their power down the whip and some like to feel the sting of that power landing on their naked flesh. I don't like pain at all. It hurts. But I do like the experience of taking what gets dished out, even if there is pain involved. The fact that pain is unwanted also qualifies masochism as a form of submission. I view the D/s relationship broadly as being about power, and then whatever the dominant happens to generate in the way of impulses is what there is to which to submit. People who get turned on sexually by pain are mysterious to me but I understand it has something to do with the way the are wired. The nervous system is variable from person to person in how exactly sensations are experienced. Most people do not like pain sexually; some crave it.

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RE: For the masochists... - 5/12/2010 12:55:25 PM

Viridana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkDomCple

Can anyone explain masochism and their interests in it? Specifcly, the psycological side and what about it has your interest?

I like the physical sensation of certain pain at certain moments in certain situations. There's no deeper psychology about it than just that

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkDomCple
Im more concerened with the so called 'pain pigs', 'pain sluts', and whatever other variations people call themselves now of days that are into pain for the sake of recieving it. We are generally curious because we've ran across some peoples profiles that are only interested in having someone use, abuse, scar and basically beat the crap out of them. Can you explain your fetish, because it isnt one we share? We dont mean to condemn or offend anyone, but we are just generally curious.

I don't describe myself as a pain pig or a pain slut. I have no reason to describe myself using degrading words, since humiliation is not my cup of tea. I use the word masochist.
I don't engage in d/s either, it just doesn't work for me.
Furthermore pain and masochism isn't connected to sex or sexual arousal for me. So I guess I'm somewhat the epitome of the person you describe in your post.

It is very difficult to describe a fetish or a kink to someone who's mind cannot fathom the concept. Like a friend of mine, who has a diaper fetish, can try his best to describe but I still don't really get it. And that is just fine, there is really no need for me to get it. I just need to know that the fetish exists and it makes my friend very happy.

For me- look at it this way, let's say you have very sore muscles and you go to a professional to get a massage. It hurts like hell but at the same time it feels really good to get the tension out of the muscles. It's kind of a good kind of bad.

I dislike just as much as the next person to stub my toe and I loathe stomach aches and tooth aches. There needs to be a certain kind of pain, given in certain kinds of situation by someone who knows how my painmechanism works. Kinda like the person who loves to get a massage for soreness but hates toothaches. So really pain is not an single entity but a spectrum- there's good kind of pain and bad kind of pain.

What I'm seeking is this goodbad sensation and the flow of endorphins that follow. I've been like this since I was a small child, where I took tooth picks and pricked them into my gums because it hurt so good. I guess somewhere in my nervous system there is a connection that interprets certain insults as pleasure rather than pain.

Hope this helps your understanding a bit.

< Message edited by Viridana -- 5/12/2010 12:57:36 PM >

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RE: For the masochists... - 5/13/2010 6:36:33 PM

kateindenver

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i cannot speak for anyone else but i have seen alot in m,y 8 years in the life. i have seen skin careed out of a subs body and then they ate it. i have seen subs whipped so hard that all i could see was a bloddy bumm. all of us sem to needf certain kinds of pain. i have lkearned to never critizise it. i like erotic pasin mixed with pleasure. i have been told i take alot of pasin but who knows what that means. i have seen a cattle prod uses. i just think we crave different levels of pain. i just know i like pain for what ever reasdon. i love flying onto subsdpace. it seems to forfil a need within me. i hoipe this helps. oh yes and by the way, sone d/s couples never engage in pain.
kate

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RE: For the masochists... - 5/17/2010 12:09:28 PM

SlaveSubtoserve

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i love certain pains and hate others, love to take it for a certain Domme and cannot for another so......and it does float me into maso-sub space often.....it magnifies all my senses and whatever i am feeling which is usually good....

you might also check into threads re 'sub space' which overlaps here for masos in understanding a bit whats going on in terms of sub-ing to the pain in addition to the Dom/me.

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RE: For the masochists... - 5/18/2010 6:58:39 PM

BabieGothika

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Well, for me, i had a lot of circustances in my life than made me unhappy , mentally abused. Till i thought than i gonna change the way i was feeling just enjoying the mental pain and after that, i was doing coke and i was addicted to pain, because with that , u cannot feel any pain at all, u have not limits, it was very scaring.
    When we are in pain, your brain releases the hormone "serotonin" and them, u start feeling pleasure.
   Now im clean and sober and i cannot handle too much pain like before but im happy with who i am today...
     And when u are in pain, u go to a place called "Subspace"where u cannot feel pain anymore, only the pleasure

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RE: For the masochists... - 5/18/2010 8:00:37 PM

subtee

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Not all subs are masochists either. I'm not a masochist...

however I do enjoy hot, spicy food.

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