|
leadership527 -> RE: Deeply in Love with Master (5/1/2010 7:22:53 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: subjan1962
i have been with my Master for almost a year and am contracted and collared to him. We do not live together but he is only 30 mins away. He visits me regularly and often stays over when he allows me to sleep with him. my delema is, i have fallen deeply in love with him. i am not sure if this is a good thing or not.. He is a very kind Master but i have no desire to turn our s/D relationship into a vanilla one. i love to serve him and take his punnishment gracefully, He has once mentioned the L word and I know he does love me but i don't want being lovers to spoil the dynamic of a great s/D relationship.
Like a lot of others here, I see no particular reason why love shouldn't enhance and reinforce an authority dynamic. Yes, just as UniqueRaven said, if you add love into the mix it'll change... there'll now be love. But for most people, myself included, that is a good thing, not a bad thing. I sincerely doubt that the addition of love is the cause for loss in the dynamic. I would expect it's usually more related to laziness as the new relationship energy wears off.
Now, from the master's chair, I will say this. It is always more difficult to be the disciplinarian when you are emotionally bonded to the people you are leading. This is true at the work place as well as at home. There is a reason managers at work are advised to "not get too close to your team." When I was a more junior manager, people would say to me, "What are you going to do when you need to discipline or terminate some employee and they are your friend?" My answer to this was to just do that which needed to be done... painful or not to me. I would rather bear the emotional pain of the occasional firing of a friend than suffer the loss of the deeper leadership bonds available when you emotionally expose yourself. In short, it IS possible to do the discipline thing when you are bonded to the other person... it just hurts to do it. It's a real test of the leader's mettle. So? What sort of stuff is YOUR master made of?
Like others, I advise talking this through with your master. In the end, only you two can know which path is right for you. As much as it's incomprehensible to me, love isn't for everyone. Of course, it's worth pointing out that your fears are a day late and a dollar short. If you two already love each other, is it really possible for you to just stop it? God knows I couldn't.
|
|
|
|
