RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists"

RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (Full Version)

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allthatjaz -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 4:13:51 AM)
Wikipedia; A purist is one who desires that an item remain true to its essence and free from adulterating or diluting influences. Merriam Webster's Online Dictionary, the term 'Purist' dates from 1706 and is defined as "a person who adheres strictly and often excessively to a tradition" and so if that is the definition of 'purist' I believe we have many in our midst. You clearly state on your profile that your partner will be your equal and so you don't want a submissive for a partner and those words alone paint a very clear picture. Two women work in a shop selling Armani handbags. The first woman loves the handbags, there design, the quality of the leather. She likes them so much that she's always seen with an Armani handbag and saves up her meager wage to by the next one out. The second woman hates the bags. She thinks they are ridiculously expensive, doesn't personally own one or want one. Which shop assistant would you prefer to be served by? Two pro Mistresses work in the same dungeon. The first Mistress chose this career because she's good at it and feels comfortable with it. When she goes home at night her dinner is waiting for her, cooked by her loving submissive. She's fired herself up all day and now she can unleash that fire on her chosen one. The second Mistress has learnt the art but doesn't really get it. She finds it hard work and unnatural but she's not about to give it up because the money is so good. She goes home at night and whines to her (vanilla) partner about the pathetic men she has seen that day. Which Mistress would you prefer to serve? I would call the first Mistress a purist. She works doing what she's good at and so good for her but its also a lifestyle.

MissAsylum -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 4:17:36 AM)
and as with my profile- i chose to make it as clear as i possibly could. it has trimmed down significantly the mail i recieved from those who did not intrest me or vice versa. but in the likely event where i get mail from those who refuse to read my profile(its quite refreshing that you did), and i tell them "no", and if they should catch an attitude i always say, "well it WAS on my profile." typically thats when communication stops, and if it continues ,they can enjoy being blocked.

MissAsylum -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 5:13:09 AM)
by all mean toots, i love what i do. however when it comes to dating, i have not had much luck in dating a submissive. zero luck in fact. i'm not trying to group all submissives together when it comes to dating, but i've decided not to try it anymore. not saying there wont come a time where i want to give a go again, but just not now.

MissAsylum -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 5:24:47 AM)
i keep saying its just the one i have come in contact with who act that way. typically its not the "you have views that are not of my own and i disagree with them." i respect that. however i don't get that. somebody has told me that i was a slut who spreads my legs to the masses and has no education or means of having a decent career, and that person claimed to be a purist. i found it all to be hialrious, but i don't believe that purist=prick.

Jeffff -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 6:14:42 AM)
"agreed. nothing to get upset about. i'm just wondering if anybody had noticed it. and i'm hoping to get a Purist view on it if they arent a self-serving asshole. " And this.. "i am a pro-domme, but i do have personal slaves that dont pay for my time. is that anymore clear lovie? " Seem to point out exactly who the self-serving asshole might be. Have a loveyl day As always, edited for spelling, not content

RedMagic1 -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 6:40:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff As always, edited for spelling, not content All the words were spelled correctly, and you couldn't let that stand?[8D] My real reason for posting, though, is.... quote: somebody has told me that i was a slut who spreads my legs to the masses and has no education or means of having a decent career, and that person claimed to be a purist. Is that true? I hope you understand that I am coming at this as one of your "fans." I like you, what little I have seen of you. But, for example, I dated a woman off CM who now has two Masters degress, but came from a poor and dysfunctional family. She was a stripper to pay for graduate school. Also, there was a post in Alternative Lifestyles in the News about a woman who was paying for law school by working as an escort. I don't consider it negative, sleazy, dirty, whatever, to be smart but uneducated and not born into opportunity, so someone makes a living as a fantasy maker. It happens a lot. One thing I've learned in the last few years is that a lot more women dabble in sex work than most guys ever realize. Do you know the porn star Cassandra Cruz? She has a BFA in illustration, and her goal is to retire from porn and become a professional illustrator. She was a prodomme in NYC before doing porn. It's really hard to be a professional artist in a down economy, though, so she's probably getting her starfish pumped for a while longer. -- ImpureDom

MissAsylum -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 6:53:09 AM)
that was a term of endearment.

MissAsylum -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 7:01:12 AM)
um- are you asking if i really do spread my legs to the masses? that would be a "no" if thats what you are asking. I'm highly in favour of people doing what they have to make money and survive as long as it does not bring harm to others. i respect porn stars- somebody has to do it. same with strippers- i' not that athleticly inclined lol. just because they used a sex driven approach to pay for school or even feed their children and stay off the street, does it make them less of a person? in my opinion, it makes them more of one.

CarrieO -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 7:07:47 AM)
please note; I've bolded certain portions to draw attention to those words and how they apply to other posts on this thread. quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum i keep saying its just the one i have come in contact with who act that way. typically its not the "you have views that are not of my own and i disagree with them." i respect that. however i don't get that. somebody has told me that i was a slut who spreads my legs to the masses and has no education or means of having a decent career, and that person claimed to be a purist. i found it all to be hialrious, but i don't believe that purist=prick. Here's your original post... quote: by being on this site, i have notice there tends to be a rift,so to speak, between people who offer Pro BDSM services, lifestylers and self-proclaimed "BDSM Purists". I don't go trolling for cash as many anti pro members have accused me of, and if i get on some people enough, they are personal subs/slaves. Not just towards me, i've noticed it seems to be in sport now to harrass those who offer their paid services(Dom/Domme or Sub) to lower their rates to barely anything or for free to please those who are not willing(typically) to pay, or to blame them for destroying the economy. With lifestylers, I've noticed that some people who claim to be submissive/slave or those toying with the idea of being submissive, expect a Dom or Domme to be willing to take on a partner regardless of the Dom/Domme's interest, or that subs/slaves should fall to a Dom/Domme's feet upon the first message.And according to a Purist, you're a fake if you go outside those lines-be you a Dom/Domme or sub/slave. any thoughs on the subject? You seem to equate being lifestyle with being a purist in regards to practice and beliefs. Am I right in this interpretation? Why? How do you define 'lifestyler'? You also seem to equate being a purist with being arrogant, regardless of your final in the first quote above. Why? You still haven't addressed the "self-serving asshole" comment. You choice, I know, but it might help in making your own views a bit clearer when speaking of pro vs lifestyle. To be honest, it sounds to me like you've recieved emails from some disgruntled people who have their own issues with their lifestyle choices. Really, all you need to do is go back and read the responses to your thread on pro rates from at least two people in particular, not naming names but they do make their views know...frequently, to see how these folks are viewed by others online. They are always getting called out on their bs. Are they purists because they want something for nothing and when they don't get it, they resort to name calling and derogatory comments...or are they just angry because someone pissed in their bdsm fantasy cheerios? Why do people act this way? Because. Because they hate women...because they have unresolved mommy issues...because they see sex as dirty and can't accept a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality...because, because, becasue. It doesn't make them a purist so much as it makes them closed minded. Allthatjaz did a great analogy between the two shop workers and the two dommes. I like it and, in regards to being a WIITWD Purist, it makes the most sense.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 7:18:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum um- are you asking if i really do spread my legs to the masses? that would be a "no" if thats what you are asking. No, that wasn't what I was asking. I wasn't really "asking" anything. I was trying to tell a few stories so women reading this thread who might be in a similar situation, would maybe feel a bit less isolated and alone. I also believe that a woman turning tricks to put food on her child's table is a more honorable person than a guy who puts up a CM profile looking for some BDSM on the side because his wife would never understand. Living up to responsibilities matters a lot to me. The main ethical downside I see to prodomming is that a lot of clients are cheaters, and it would be extremely difficult financially for a pro to turn away all men with a girlfriend or a wife. That's my own snotty "purist" take on the situation.

MissAsylum -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 7:25:38 AM)
not trying to come off as a bitch, so i apologize if i do. but i keep repeating it: "ONES THAT I'VE COME IN CONTACT WITH." "I'VE NOTICED THAT SOME OF...". "IN MY EXPIRENCE". i don't think that EVERYBODY WHO CLAIMS TO BE A PURIST IS A SELF-SERVING ASSHOLE. JUST THE ONES THAT I HAVE COME IN CONTACT WITH. i believe i did explain the asshole comment though. just how the people that shall remain namesless, when i ask them "what do you consider me to be doing wrong?" they can never give me an actual response other than trying to put me down. again- JUST THE ONES I HAVE COME IN CONTACT WITH. i never asked why they act like that- like you said, they are just people. i was hoping that somebody who considers themselves to be a purist to share their thoughs and/or expirence if they arent a complete ass i believe 9.5 out of 10 times people know when they are being one)

CarrieO -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 7:44:56 AM)
Extremely loud and clear. I hope you find the answers you seek.

allthatjaz -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 8:05:23 AM)
First of all I think you need to take away the word 'purist' and go for the word 'prejudiced' Those that knock you by name calling, do so because they are nothing more than keyboard warriors. I get knocked for being a switch but I certainly don't think of the mud slingers as purist, I just think of them as prejudiced. When I used to pro Domme I never let people on these type of forums know I was doing it professionally but I'm sure if I had I would of been well aware of the prejudices I would of received. Some men will read your profile and take it all personally and so if you are going to mention money then you have to take the flack. The ones that sit on pedestals and brag are usually self promoting imbeciles that still live with mum and don't tidy their bedroom when they are told. Those sort of people just need ignoring because there is only one thing they are desperate for and thats a response from you! There are quite a few people on here that I would call purist but purist does not equal 'I'm better than you' It just means they live the lifestyle.

whipmaker7 -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 9:50:36 AM)
nice thoughts, RedMajic! quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff As always, edited for spelling, not content All the words were spelled correctly, and you couldn't let that stand?[8D] My real reason for posting, though, is.... quote: somebody has told me that i was a slut who spreads my legs to the masses and has no education or means of having a decent career, and that person claimed to be a purist. Is that true? I hope you understand that I am coming at this as one of your "fans." I like you, what little I have seen of you. But, for example, I dated a woman off CM who now has two Masters degress, but came from a poor and dysfunctional family. She was a stripper to pay for graduate school. Also, there was a post in Alternative Lifestyles in the News about a woman who was paying for law school by working as an escort. I don't consider it negative, sleazy, dirty, whatever, to be smart but uneducated and not born into opportunity, so someone makes a living as a fantasy maker. It happens a lot. One thing I've learned in the last few years is that a lot more women dabble in sex work than most guys ever realize. Do you know the porn star Cassandra Cruz? She has a BFA in illustration, and her goal is to retire from porn and become a professional illustrator. She was a prodomme in NYC before doing porn. It's really hard to be a professional artist in a down economy, though, so she's probably getting her starfish pumped for a while longer. -- ImpureDom

lobodomslavery -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 10:15:50 AM)
So you dont mind being called a prostitute. then. A sex worker is a prostitute. Nothing to be ashamed of . Each to their own kevin

MissAsylum -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 10:19:09 AM)
well here i was thinking you wouldn't show up.

RCdc -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 10:26:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum well here i was thinking you wouldn't show up. Was it Kevin that called you these things? the.dark.

MissAsylum -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 10:59:02 AM)
the situation i had mentioned wasnt kevin, but he has said things along those lines before, on top of it being my fault that the economy has gone down the tubes

RCdc -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 11:20:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum the situation i had mentioned wasnt kevin, but he has said things along those lines before, on top of it being my fault that the economy has gone down the tubes Nod. Understood. There are people with issues - 'nuff said.[:)] I believe I do understand what you mean by 'purists'. I would suggest that most people on the forums would call them 'one true wayers'. In a sense - we all have our own one true ways... it's just the purists think that their way should be the same for everyone and that everyone fits in neat little boxes - like pro dommes would never have a non commissioning slave/sub for example - or even worse - that a pro domme might actually be someones submissive fake shock look of horror. I don't think its just a Kevin thing though - in other words - it's not just (as Ron put it) 'folks whining about paying for pussy are the worms who want to know what grease mistress uses on her strap-on'. Forgive me if I misunderstood your post - but you dont seem to be complaining just about the way pros are treated, but how personal choices are automatically pigeon holed by outside individuals. If that's the case, it's not a strictly BDSM thing. Every 'community' has the people who believe that people should only behave certain ways. the.dark.

LadyPact -> RE: Professionals vs Lifestylers vs BDSM "Purists" (5/4/2010 11:32:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RCdc quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum the situation i had mentioned wasnt kevin, but he has said things along those lines before, on top of it being my fault that the economy has gone down the tubes Nod. Understood. There are people with issues - 'nuff said.[:)] Agreed.

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