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RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/6/2006 11:48:45 PM

BitaTruble

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That happens to me on occasion as well. You just lose it and have to start over again and sometimes you just can't get back there. Himself thinks it's funny, but for some reason, I don't seem to be laughing much about it. Masters can be so cruel sometimes.

Celeste

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RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/7/2006 12:39:19 AM

DigitBox

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quote:

Bingo! You got it! I find it hard to believe that anyone can tell a nerve ending to cum or not cum on command. That just makes me wonder whether these people who claim to have the power to make someone "cum on command" aren't being faked out.

Example: I get cramps in my feet when I lie down. That's a response to muscles and nerves. I can't lie in bed and command my muscles and nerves to "just stop that shit".

I have to get up and walk it off. I have to exercise those muscles that are bitching at me. When someone tells me I can't cum after building me up to it, those same nerve endings (by the same token) will shut down eventually.

Well, I've never cum on command but I did have a Dom who failed to bring me off despite being very determined, and finally he resorted to a vibe, and I had no choice but to react. That's kind of the inverse example, but he did force it to happen. I was sealed in a rubber sleep sack at the time so I didn't really have a way to avoid it either.

That was back when I could still cum. I can't anymore so it's more of an orgasm control , but that means for me more of a denial of certain actions that bring on a full orgasm. But still if the said actions take too long or not quite applied right then the parts get kind of unresponsive to the the stimulation.

I guess what I wonder is how much does mind have control over the body?

There have been times where my physical self wouldn't respond to mental overrides and yet other times I could control how those parts responded to sensory stimuli. Maybe it was how close to the edge I was. Go to far and it happens.

But maybe someone can get experienced enough to be able to hold on and control things through mind (sort of like meditation or relaxation exercise) so that only when the command happens that they let things just happen? I don't know myself since I don't have enough experience with this.

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RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/7/2006 6:05:20 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali
Prolly a bit off topic but i think orgasm denial is more of a male sub thing...does it work for any women here...or should i start a new topic?

I agree. Perhaps it's because, in general, males orgasm easily and fairly quickly, while females, in general, orgasm with more difficulty and need focus and time. So, it becomes a case of "How do I get their attention?" In males- it's NOT letting them orgasm, in females, it's giving them orgasms.

But I've seen plenty of both in males and females. I think if people spent as much time working on their communication skills as they did getting to their orgasms, we'd have a lot better relationships (not that one should REPLACE the other!).

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RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/7/2006 6:38:36 AM

Smythe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

Its happened to me too.

Also, I cum easier if I cum often, if I havent cum for a couple of days I find it harder to...i must shut down or something...one reason denial would never work for me. ..

Prolly a bit off topic but i think orgasm denial is more of a male sub thing...does it work for any women here...or should i start a new topic?

I agree about orgasm denial being more of a male submissive thing...It is one of my chief pleasures :) However, more to the point, I often think that male doms who want to control their femsub's orgasms have a lesson to learn before it can work the way they want it to. As mentioned, the female orgasm is complicated, sometimes elusive, emotional, mental, situation dependent and so on. A male dom makes a mistake if he fails to take all this into consideration when he is trying to train his sub.

Back to the OP for second, nothing is more natural than what you are experiencing. I can't imagine that a master would be disappointed by this, not if he understands women at all!

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RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/7/2006 6:47:00 AM

SpankMuhButt

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I'm not sure if this is what you mean. But I have been in the same position, Master says I can't cum yet, and I am pretty darn good at focusing on something else, and I won't cum, then maybe a few minutes later he will ask me if I want to cum, and of course I do but now it's gone, it passed and I'll tell him yes but now I'm not ready, some times he just laughs at me cause I am trying to hard to get it back....and trust me cumming isn't usually an issue with me. I am one of those multiple type girls, I can cum over and over and each one is better then the last.

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RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/7/2006 7:35:48 AM

Fawne

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LuckyAlbatross:
"The exact same thing happens to me- if I get to the point of orgasm I either have to orgasm or shut down. And if I shut down I won't be able to orgasm for quite awhile. Just how my body works."

Same exact thing with me. My first dominant used this - to that result. I am mutli orgasmic easily. Why go against a good thing?

amaidiamond:
"I will be writhing, begging etc etc, feeling like I can't possibly cling on any longer, to the point of tears streaming down my face, logically i would say this would be the point of cumming without permission but i don't do that, litterally will be gasping and begging"

Maybe that was the reaction he was seeking? Sounds like it may have been a fav brand of torture for him.

Great topic, TY!

< Message edited by Fawne -- 4/7/2006 7:44:37 AM >

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RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/7/2006 7:41:20 AM

michaelGA

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at 43, i still do not have any problem in this area. i don't need Viagra either.

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RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/7/2006 7:46:07 AM

subnisa

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It is the sub or slave's duty to please their Dorminiate partner no matter what They command

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RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/9/2006 3:04:55 AM

slave4Darby3d

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I can understand your frustration with that. I don't have the same issue, but one similar.

I love to orgasm and would daily by myself, or with partner if available. Up until I met my Master was this part of my daily mental/physical me time. He forbids me to touch myself and my pleasure comes only from him now, when he chooses. I have found, though, that orgasm is difficult to achieve now. Not that I mind, truly. (strangely enough for me, huh) Because I have found a whole other level of fulfillment. Still, it would be very nice to fly into a million pieces now and again. But, I do really like the "brink" he gets and keeps me at for as long as he wants. But, like I said, unlike your experience my body does not shut off. but it does seem to hold the edges a little further out of reach...

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RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/17/2006 5:54:23 PM

amaidiamond

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpankMuhButt

I'm not sure if this is what you mean. But I have been in the same position, Master says I can't cum yet, and I am pretty darn good at focusing on something else, and I won't cum, then maybe a few minutes later he will ask me if I want to cum, and of course I do but now it's gone, it passed and I'll tell him yes but now I'm not ready, some times he just laughs at me cause I am trying to hard to get it back....and trust me cumming isn't usually an issue with me. I am one of those multiple type girls, I can cum over and over and each one is better then the last.

Yep, that is pretty much what I meant, will be desperate for it then it all just goes away and when the man then says I could - I can't.

As for subnisas comment re it being the sub/slaves job to please the dominant - well no shit! It's good you've grasped that much but i fail to see how it relates to the topic regarding question over a physical issue?

Thank you everyone for the open and honest responses and it is great to know that mine is not the only body that plays tricks on me, oh for it to be like it is when it is in the movies!

thanks :)

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RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/17/2006 6:28:13 PM

Cloudz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I think if people spent as much time working on their communication skills as they did getting to their orgasms, we'd have a lot better relationships (not that one should REPLACE the other!).

That was TOO important a point to let it simply fade away, LA

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RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/17/2006 6:48:53 PM

GirlwithBoots

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I had one Dom for a short time who enjoyed teasing. I had never had that done to me before as my orgasms can somewhat prove elusive and the point very often became just to get me to have an orgasm at all vs. teasing one out of me. But this Dom was very self confident and the first few times he stopped stimulation and the approaching orgasm retreated, I paniced slightly, afraid it would be gone for good. He taught me to not worry, relax and it will come back with time. This isn't exactly what you have a experienced, but it is a good lessen to learn, that there will always be another orgasm down the road, don't stress over it.

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RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/17/2006 7:33:55 PM

enthralled

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

Also, I cum easier if I cum often, if I havent cum for a couple of days I find it harder to...i must shut down or something...one reason denial would never work for me. ..

I am the very same way slavejali.... but I thought I was just weird, has always seemed kinf of 'backward' to me.... lol

I have the same problem as far as control..... it's called getting to the point of frustration not only from being denied, but being terribly afraid of displeasing which tends to totally engulf the situation resulting in an inability to orgasm.... it's mental.

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RE: Loss of orgasm - 4/18/2006 11:01:42 AM

amaidiamond

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I think that may have hit the nail on the head enthralled, being so worried about displeasing and orgasming without permission the body just stops stone cold....interesting

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