|
LadyNTrainer -> RE: The sexual objectification of men (5/10/2010 6:21:53 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: mummyman321
I am free to comment on your post just as well as any other person on this board. I am sorry if you do not like it but that is not a requirement for being on this board. Your opinion, while important to you, is not the only opinion out there and is only one of many.
As I said, you are free to jump in and try to make a discussion about what dominant women want from men all about you and your fetishes. I am equally free to explain why I think this is seriously dicklike behavior.
In porn, on adult sites, women's desires are literally made invisible or nonexistent. We're objectified, marginalized, forced into stereotypes to cater to male fantasies or forced into the closet. This is even true, sadly, in femdom. It's always about how sexy the women are supposed to be for the guys, how women are supposed to cater to men's sexual fantasies and fetishes, dress to appeal to men, etc.
I get that men should have a freely expressed voice in what they want, about what turns them on, too. But the current climate is so overwhelmingly about how women, even dominant women, must be packaged for male viewing and male satisfaction and male consumption, that it is also fair for us to say that we need some time and space to focus on what we want at times. Sometimes we need a break from the constant and overwhelming innundation of messages that say we are here to be objectified for male pleasure.
Dominant women who really are wired to enjoy seeing men packaged for our viewing pleasure don't actually have a lot of outlets. Many women who feel this way, women who might otherwise take real pleasure in being dominant, women who might really enjoy seeing sexy consenting men objectified for their pleasure, have taken one peek into femdom land and left. We see almost nothing there except men who want to package us and use us as fetish providers for their needs. Even when we start a discussion about what we want, it is immediately jumped on by guys who are only interested in having their needs catered to. So a lot of us get disgusted, give up and leave. There's nothing fun for us in that. Is that really an outcome you want to encourage?
quote:
I do not believe its the right of the Domme to have only her way. I do not believe its the right of a sub to have only his way. I do believe its take 2 people with the same interests to have a successful relationship. This may or may not be true but it is my opinion and I will state it.
That is my opinion also, which is why I stated clearly that I only wish to objectify and use and own men who genuinely enjoy being beautiful for me. That's a win-win situation.
What I explicitly do not want is "submissive" men demanding that I cater to their fetishes, not unless they're willing to make it a fair transaction and offer me something I want also. Like the majority of dominant women on these sites, I am overwhelmed and innundated by desires and even demands from men who want to make me and my desires invisible, and who want to relate to me as a thing that they can use for their self-centric fantasies. I want to be able to talk about *my* desires openly and visibly without being immediately piled on and hijacked by men who are, as usual, doing their best to make it all about their desires.
I understand that nobody gets to have what they want all the time, and especially not from strangers. I don't have the right to tell you what you can or can't do. I do have the right to say how I feel about a discussion of what women want from men being hijacked by a guy who wants to talk about what he wants from women. Again.
I feel pretty shitty about it, and I feel that this is the specific reason that femdom has, for the most part, not so very many femdoms in it who aren't being paid to be here. Make of that what you like.
|
|
|
|
