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safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/10/2010 10:30:17 PM   
slavelynn95008


Posts: 35
Joined: 12/22/2007
Status: offline 		I stress safe. I have hundreds of posts from men and most scare me. Is there a safe way to indulge my fantazies?
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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/10/2010 10:37:53 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		http://soj.org/



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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/10/2010 10:46:25 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Here's where a lot of people will post a lot of good stuff about safe practices.  I'm not disputing them.  However, I will say this.  NO, you are never guaranteed that what you do, will always be safe.  Sometimes, I think all the talk provided about safe-calls, and public meetings, and what not to do or what to do to be safe - lulls people into a false sense of security.

I honestly don't mean to scare you into self-imposed soliatary confinement.  Just know that you can do all the 'right' things, and still find yourself in a bad situation. 

All that said, once you accept that there are some risks, you can hopefully minimize the potential for harm without blindly going into a situation believing because you did all the right things that you are immune to harm.

I'm not even going to add the disclaimer that 'these are just my personal beliefs' as if I should apologize for them or something.  As with anything in life.  Take what you can use, leave the rest.

WinD

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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/10/2010 11:47:27 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I know of a very nice older (than you) Dom in that area. He's a sadist, but he's safe.

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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/11/2010 4:54:03 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Just move to Colorado.  

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/11/2010 6:24:35 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Do you ever answer questions other people put to you or do you just take take take? Just curious.

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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/11/2010 8:17:51 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Do you ever answer questions other people put to you or do you just take take take? Just curious.


That is just so unfair. I am sure at the end of take, take, take. there will be a spurt of giving.

Well at least if the girl is good taking it all


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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/11/2010 10:08:19 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Well i am all for meeting in a public place, it is usually fairly safe. I met Master in a public place the first few times before i was comfortable enough to meet him in a private place. If ther is a munch in your area go and see if anyone knows the Dom you are going to meet. Trust your gut if something seems not right or off just walk away. Better safe then sorry.

Matt's littleone

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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/11/2010 10:36:22 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		There are few bdsm communities as safe as the SF bay area. If you are too timid to put on your big girl panties and attend a public munch or a class at the Citadel, you probably shouldn't leave the house to do anything other than go to a therapist anyway.

Join fetlife, find the group for SF Citadel (the big playspace there) and tell August or Phil I was picking on you online and they will take you under their wing and help you explore safely. The reality is a completely inexperienced woman could walk into the citadel butt naked with a hood on wearing a sign "fuck my mouth" and be completely safe.

Same goes for most decent size bdsm venues in the US.

Are you going to be hit on? Yes. Are some people going to be a bit cheesy? Yes. However, that is about as bad as it is likely to get. If you can't handle those things, please stay home or at least don't leave the chatrooms and leave the real world to those of us who are functional adults.

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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/11/2010 11:04:03 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

That is just so unfair. I am sure at the end of take, take, take. there will be a spurt of giving.




LOL!!! 
 
 
Edited to add: OP, I could hook you up with my (ex) dom- he's older, knows how to give you what you need with the paddle, (he is a sadist) etc... and is an amazing person.


But for all I know, you might be batshit crazy. So, nope. 


I looked at the Janus site (thanks Greedy!) , and there's stuff for newbies there- like newbie only munches, if you're nervous and looking for someplace to start.




< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 5/11/2010 11:25:47 AM >

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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/11/2010 12:01:45 PM   
MrSexyDevilPants


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/9/2010
Status: offline 		I would like to second the recommendation for the Citadel. It is a wonderful, friendly place, and the people are inclusive and thoughtful. One of my very fondest memories is of my first time there. (shout out to Stefanos!)

Also, there is a coffee shop called Wicked Grounds (see Fetlife or just google it). They are specifically kink friendly, and some small groups meet there to chat in a casual environment. I know they are starting a sub get-together there soon. I thiunk the 1st meeting is the 18th.

I would also be willing to direct you to my girl if you want someone to go with you. She's lovely, and very kind.

It is an amazingly supportive community that in no way resemblesd what you see online.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/11/2010 12:05:27 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		"MrSexyDevilPants" ~~~ awesome

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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/11/2010 12:24:48 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrSexyDevilPants

I would like to second the recommendation for the Citadel. It is a wonderful, friendly place, and the people are inclusive and thoughtful. One of my very fondest memories is of my first time there. (shout out to Stefanos!)

Also, there is a coffee shop called Wicked Grounds (see Fetlife or just google it). They are specifically kink friendly, and some small groups meet there to chat in a casual environment. I know they are starting a sub get-together there soon. I thiunk the 1st meeting is the 18th.


Stefanos is that rare combination of giant ego and down to earth guy, a very rare and wonderful addition to the kink scene in SF.

Oh, and Wicked Grounds, such fun to be in a cafe and see off in one corner, someone feeding their "pet" out of a bowl on the ground, other people sitting their weaving floggers, and all the other assorted goings on. The conversations are just as varied, I really enjoy that place and have a soft spot since they sell my toys as well. I just wished they were open later but hey, I shouldnt whine, how many other cities have a kinky caffe?

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/11/2010 6:24:11 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		The Bay Area scene is pretty welcoming, and I agree there are lots of events that are geared toward newbies. I felt more comfortable attending my first munch with someone I knew through an online forum similar to this one. You might want to select a different photo for your profile - unfortunately, I suspect that your current one is encouraging the "scary creep" types. In person, nobody is likely to touch you unconsensually, though you might be pestered a bit for play (not by the same person, but it can be a little overwhelming at your first play event). Have fun, there are lots of resources and things to do around here!

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/11/2010 7:20:34 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

If you are too timid to put on your big girl panties


OP, ignore Michael.  You look better without panties, big girl or otherwise.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/11/2010 7:25:55 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		she complains about the quality of mail she gets and then chooses to put up profile pics with her cunt spread open thus insuring the quality of mail she receives.

Darkstevie....Put a cock ring on that fucker.





< Message edited by domiguy -- 5/11/2010 7:37:38 PM >

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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/12/2010 4:46:46 PM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		The above answers I'd agree with.  You just have to be a brave girl and show up.  I did my first BDSM thing at a now defunct group.  My second at Janus.  Wonderful, accepting people, who (though I had done nothing but read for years about BDSM) tolerated yet another newbie. 

Good luck to you.  I wish I was young and just starting out...

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RE: safe place to find a friend in the sfbay area? - 5/12/2010 4:54:20 PM   
SweetNika


Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline 		OP
I learned along time ago, that if you have nude or sexual pictures on your profile you are asking for trolls, you are asking for rude and abrasive emails, you are asking for attention and some of that is going to be negative attention. There are ALOT of wonderful clubs in the bayarea. Google is your friend. I used to go to one club that had a gaint chain spider web, forget the name of it though. It's been a few years. Lol

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Nika


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Profile   Post #: 18
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