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WinsomeDefiance -> RE: A retread (5/11/2010 7:55:02 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LittleBroken
<serious face and attitude now>
Yes I know I can't take him back, what ever the excuse.
I am suffering the with drawls of my very first true submission.
Call it sub frenzy, a true/pure submission but coming from a place of being a Domme in my own right to kneeling and bowing down to his command ....
I'm lost..empty...
I now have to envision life and a future without him....it feels offensive and wrong when I try to.
I catch myself, still, living out the protocols he had in place...I still hear his voice in my head.
I know they are wrong but they are so comforting..they feel like I'm not breaking the faith.
It's madness and I'm really struggling.
I was only collared for six months. HATED everything about it. Struggled against every bit of it and walked away happily rarely ever looking back. Still, every night, even six years later, I still go to sleep with one word echoing in my mind. That word being "Master". Hang in there ladybug. I think you are probably going through something similar to the stages of grief. It is ok to be angry and to rage against the loss.
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