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Explaining Subspace - 5/13/2010 12:32:07 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Enough 'this random woman I don't know from Adam has done x,y,z, does that make her dominant?' threads-back to your regularly scheduled 'things VC thinks she messed up slightly and would like some feedback on' programming!

The scene: local kinky market afterparty

The cast: me (duh), a Dom friend, a mutual femsub friend who was *totally* subspaced out, and a newbie male sub.

The action: femsub was crashed out over my bewbs grinning blissfully but vaguely while Dom and I skritched her under the chin, pulled her hair and generally talked right over her head about how cute she was.

The problem: we scared the newbie. The femsub is one of the most vivacious people I know-she's loud and bubbly and viciously sarcastic, and I think he thought she was in distress because he'd never heard her be *quiet* before. He kept hovering, looking worried.

Obviously, she was in no state to reassure him, and not being a naturally reassuring person the best I could really come up with was 'she's ok, I promise'-which seemed painfully inadequate.

How on earth do you explain subspace? What could I have said to make him not worry?


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RE: Explaining Subspace - 5/13/2010 3:37:59 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		For me it feels like 'melting into smallness'. Some people make less noise - generally express things outwardly less - the more they feel something. I guess that could look disturbing to some.

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RE: Explaining Subspace - 5/13/2010 3:40:39 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Don't worry, she will not fly off the face of the earth, I have ahold of her hair.

because, thats what it is, and it is what it is.

 

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RE: Explaining Subspace - 5/13/2010 3:43:29 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Don't worry, she will not fly off the face of the earth, I have ahold of her hair.
Because that would be oh so reassuring...:P

quote:

because, thats what it is, and it is what it is.
But is there a way of describing it that's a bit less scary? The English language is enormous...


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RE: Explaining Subspace - 5/13/2010 3:47:20 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		in this vein:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BBpIkPhZhU 

or this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6yp5KN8HW0 

same pictures too. 

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RE: Explaining Subspace - 5/13/2010 5:09:18 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I find the easiest way to explain sub space is to do so on a level that folks can understand.  Tell your friend that what really brings on a state of 'space' is endorphins rushing to the pleasure centers of the bottom's brain.  It's very similar to 'runner's high' or someone being a bit tipsy.  (Most people will understand the sensation from one or both of those examples.)  Just like some folks have a bit of personality change when they have had a couple of drinks, the same thing can happen when people play. Some out-going type folks will get more quiet and just relax to a quiet state of content.  Some shy folks will become energized and talk up a blue streak.

Over the years, I've found it best to discuss what I should expect from a bottom when they hit sub space during pre-play negotiations.  It makes for after care to be much more enjoyable for Me.


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RE: Explaining Subspace - 5/13/2010 5:18:13 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I find the easiest way to explain sub space is to do so on a level that folks can understand.  Tell your friend that what really brings on a state of 'space' is endorphins rushing to the pleasure centers of the bottom's brain.  It's very similar to 'runner's high' or someone being a bit tipsy.  (Most people will understand the sensation from one or both of those examples.)
That's a really good way of explaining it-thankyou Lady P


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RE: Explaining Subspace - 5/13/2010 6:02:00 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Once, my older bro (who is a heavy-rocker) went to a concert given by the London Philharmonic - a series of Tchaikovsky piano pieces. He was disgusted at the lack of movement in the audience. 'Why are they so inhibited?' he asked. 'Why don't they show their feelings?' But, to me, they *were* showing their feelings - it was in the sweat on their faces and the way they were gripping the arms of their chairs. They were enraptured. I was, too, which was why I could see the signs. I've felt pretty similarly when I've been in that sub-space.

Pfft. You have strong feelings, you make loud noises about them. So says the wisdom imparted by TV and the cinema for so many years, now.

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RE: Explaining Subspace - 5/13/2010 6:26:10 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		In that situation, I'd probably just smile and say something along the lines of, "Isn't she adorable when she's so blissful?" If he asked what subspace is, or otherwise asked for clarification, I would explain that people respond in different ways to subspace, but in general, they have a pleasurable reaction to pain, and sometimes get uncoordinated and have difficulty speaking. I think it's fairly rare for a submissive at a public playparty to not know what submission is or not recognise it. I'd think it was more likely that he was a female supremacist who was disturbed by seeing a woman submitting or bottoming, rather than that he couldn't tell she was having fun.

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