Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/7/2006 5:56:18 PM

talmar

Posts: 338
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline

Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs or slaves? Subs do you kep in contact with former Dommes?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/7/2006 6:09:55 PM

MsDominiquenz

Posts: 65
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline

Sometimes talmar, it depends of the mode of parting.
If they fell over in their quest fairly early, I dont let them waste more of my time.
If they were serving for a while, and there was something special there, sure.
I had a subby drop in a little while ago after 9 yrs..another after 7. It was lovely to see how their life had changed, but the underlying reason for meeting in the first place was still there and I found that really interesting, some things just never change.
I also loved that they both said " you taught me this and this Mistress"..sigh, bliss..

_____________________________

Be completely still, and listen from the inside.
www.mistressdominiquenz.com
The Dungeon ~ Forum and Chat.

(in reply to talmar)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/7/2006 6:13:31 PM

talmar

Posts: 338
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline

I still keep in touch with my former Domme. I was collared to her for over eight years & we are good friends still.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDominiquenz

Sometimes talmar, it depends of the mode of parting.
If they fell over in their quest fairly early, I dont let them waste more of my time.
If they were serving for a while, and there was something special there, sure.
I had a subby drop in a little while ago after 9 yrs..another after 7. It was lovely to see how their life had changed, but the underlying reason for meeting in the first place was still there and I found that really interesting, some things just never change.
I also loved that they both said " you taught me this and this Mistress"..sigh, bliss..

(in reply to MsDominiquenz)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/7/2006 6:24:43 PM

MsDominiquenz

Posts: 65
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline

Thats lovely.. and do you think or talk on the things She taught you in the early days ?

_____________________________

Be completely still, and listen from the inside.
www.mistressdominiquenz.com
The Dungeon ~ Forum and Chat.

(in reply to talmar)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/7/2006 6:43:56 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

It depends on how I feel about the way W/we parted ways. If I don't have good feelings about it, then there really is no reason for Me to stay in touch at all, and I don't. If the parting of the ways was amicable (and all but two times in 12 years this has been the case), I usually do stay in touch. Not frequently, just every now and then to say hi and see how they are doing. It's interesting to hear about what turns their lives take.

Amazingly, My heart did recently soften toward one of the two subs with whom I had a non-amicable parting. He was released under very bad circumstances in 1998. Last week, he sent Me a message on another site telling Me how he still remembers Me and O/ur time together and how much it meant to him. I guess I would now add him to My "talk to" list, though I still feel what he did was inexcusable. The other one I never communicate with at all.

Lady Topaz

< Message edited by MysticFireTopaz -- 4/7/2006 6:48:28 PM >

(in reply to talmar)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/7/2006 7:33:32 PM

talmar

Posts: 338
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline

Yes. She taught me alot. And introduced me to some great kinky people over the years. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDominiquenz

Thats lovely.. and do you think or talk on the things She taught you in the early days ?

(in reply to MsDominiquenz)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/7/2006 7:41:20 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

I am still in touch with many submissives I have known, played with & dated from years back. In fact, many I knew before either of us owned a computer & we have utilized it to remain in touch. I only have 3 submissives that I have had involvement with beyond a casual play interaction that I no longer communicate with. Those partings were intended to be final.

I speak with one gentleman that I have known for about 17 years. He moved back to Germany about 12 yrs ago. We remain in touch & he has traveled back twice in those 12 yrs & we have gotten together each time. I hear from people quite frequently or maybe just the regular times each year like holidays or birthdays.

It would seem that those that I keep in touch with that I have known for over 5 yrs far out number those that I have met in the last 5 yrs.

I even have a few people that I have never met face to face that I have known from only online or by phone for 5 to 10 yrs that I speak with often.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 4/7/2006 7:43:03 PM >

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/7/2006 8:03:05 PM

LadyKim

Posts: 191
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline

Like others on here, I do still keep in touch with many former submissives/slaves/play partners, but not all of them. There are some people that touch your life and others you are glad to see move on. It doesn't always have to do with how the relationship ended as much as what happened during the relationship. I just spoke with one former slave this week that the relationship ended in a rather ugly fashion, and I have not seen him for almost a year. Despite the pain that came from the break up, there was something special that touched me and made me laugh while the relationship was going strong. When I collared him, it was with the understanding things wouldn't always be perfect; however, I felt he was someone I wanted to be committed to for the long haul. I take collars very seriously, so to me there will always be a connection there even if he doesn't wear my collar any longer. I made that committment and promise to him and myself when I gave it to him, and part of me will always feel responsible whether the collar is around his neck or not.

There are also subs that have annoyed me to the point that I do not wish to have any contact with them ever again. Once I reach that point, there is no chance I will keep in contact with that person. If circumstances make contact unavoidable, I will be pleasant but brief; then take action to prevent the contact from reaccuring.

MzKim

(in reply to talmar)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/7/2006 8:30:04 PM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

I had dinner this evening with My former submissive. Our relationship has changed, but we still get together and "play" on occassion, and we are still friends. I am certain he will forever remain submissive towards Me.

I have found that in D/s relationships which are real-time, and last a while (24/7 style), it is difficult to not develop a strong bond which is often never present even in long-term vanilla relationships. Often, a submissive has to entrust his life or well-being to his Dominant; it's hard to shut off emotions when relationships end, regardless of whether communication/friendship continues or not.

(in reply to talmar)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/7/2006 11:40:30 PM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

Yes, I keep in touch with my former Domina quite often.

*Brightspot

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

(in reply to MistressLorelei)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/7/2006 11:43:37 PM

kittensmailbox

Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline

My former Master and are still pretty close friends...

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to brightspot)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/8/2006 7:44:54 AM

talmar

Posts: 338
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline

I agree. When you entrust your safety & well being to a person strong & lasting bonds often develope.
I am friendly with everyone I have ever played with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLorelei

I had dinner this evening with My former submissive. Our relationship has changed, but we still get together and "play" on occassion, and we are still friends. I am certain he will forever remain submissive towards Me.

I have found that in D/s relationships which are real-time, and last a while (24/7 style), it is difficult to not develop a strong bond which is often never present even in long-term vanilla relationships. Often, a submissive has to entrust his life or well-being to his Dominant; it's hard to shut off emotions when relationships end, regardless of whether communication/friendship continues or not.

(in reply to MistressLorelei)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/8/2006 10:40:31 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDominiquenz

Sometimes talmar, it depends of the mode of parting.
If they fell over in their quest fairly early, I dont let them waste more of my time.
If they were serving for a while, and there was something special there, sure.
I had a subby drop in a little while ago after 9 yrs..another after 7. It was lovely to see how their life had changed, but the underlying reason for meeting in the first place was still there and I found that really interesting, some things just never change.
I also loved that they both said " you taught me this and this Mistress"..sigh, bliss..

It also depends why they left.

If it was for a job or because we mutually agreed when the contract was up for renewal that it wasn't a good match, then we stay in touch as much as friends do.

Most often I try to stay in touch but a new person in a former partner's life doesn't want them talking to old partners so they stop responding. I try three times and at that point, no more email or phone calls equals no more tries from me.

People break up hard though in BDSM just like in the vanilla world so when it goes badly, there is generally no more contact.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MsDominiquenz)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/8/2006 10:49:23 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: talmar

Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs or slaves? Subs do you kep in contact with former Dommes?

Yup, some are very good friends and they all hold special places in my heart.

There are only a few people that I no longer remain in contact with and those are instances of discovering that not only was the person not what I thought but they were the type of person that I prefer not to have in my inner circle. As I've gotten older I've noticed that the instances of such are fewer and farther between.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to talmar)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/8/2006 11:06:41 AM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

I agree.. depends on how they left. Yes, I am in touch even after many many years.

_____________________________

(in reply to MizSuz)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/8/2006 1:41:20 PM

talmar

Posts: 338
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline

I think we all make wiser & more informed choices about who to let be close to us as we age & mature.

(in reply to MizSuz)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/10/2006 10:27:33 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

We don't keep in touch - mostly by the boys' choice. I tried to stay in touch with two of them ... I got no responses, so after a few tries, I quit. One of them I only made a 1/2-assed effort to keep in touch (and he made even less effort), and one of them I threatened with harrassment charges if he ever talked to me again (this was after he called me at work twice to yell at me for something stupid that I didn't even do).

The only ones that we still talk to are the two that live with us. We occationally see others online that we didn't get very far with (in terms of actually forming a r/l relationship) and we say hi and chat a bit, but the ones that we actually spent a lot of time with face to face ... no contact at all.

(in reply to talmar)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/10/2006 6:04:22 PM

sweetbbwsub31

Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline

i keep in touch with my former Dom. It would be very hard for me to submit to someone and then not keep in touch. He will always be part of me and i will have what i learned from him with me for the rest of my life. Fact is, part of me will always be collared to him for he was my very first "Sir"

(in reply to talmar)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: Dommes do you keep in contact with former subs? - 4/10/2006 10:54:43 PM

GlamourDomme

Posts: 26
Joined: 4/9/2006
Status: offline

Only those who are worthy. Some former subs have become part of My Fetish Family!

_____________________________

Kiss My Shiney Stilettos!

(in reply to talmar)

Profile

Post #: 19