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crazyml -> RE: Asking for references... (5/18/2010 10:55:16 AM)
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To the OP
I'm with a number of the posters here in thinking that references are pretty pointless -> they're too easy to fake (I could just get another member of my cult to provide a reference).
That said, I've met, and made friends with, a few people who are active in the London munch scene and they've introduced me to people who otherwise may not have contacted me... so genuine friends in the scene can act as referees sometimes.
In terms of this case - the dude said he could provide them, and is now being evasive - that's the red flag (as others have pointed out).
I know it's difficult, especially in the early days, to feel you know/trust someone enough for that first meeting... over time you do develop a good nose, which means that in early emails you can weed out a greater proportion of the fakers/maddos... then there's talking on the phone which helps with another chunk.
My advice would be to assume he's coming to you (like DomiGuy says - you got the holes) or perhaps arrange to meet halfway?
Simple precautions would be knowing his landline telephone number, making sure people know you're meeting and where. I agree that a safe call isn't a guarantee of safety - but it would do no harm to call a friend when you get to the meeting and after an hour (although if you're that paranoid you may want to ask why you're meeting at all!).
The key is to turn your common sense to 10, but keep your paranoia at 6...
Good luck!
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