unhappy subs/slaves (Full Version)

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Donkfield -> unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 6:02:01 PM)

Hi, I have a question, it is purely out of curiosity.

Are there any subs or slaves here that don't like their Dom/Master but serve him anyway because he tells you so? Such as, if you weren't bound by a collar or contract or his will, would you leave? I realize it would be really rare, if even possible, but it makes me question the significance of a contract or collar in the first place.

Maybe I should ask it like this, so everyone can answer. What if your Master let himself go and turned into a worthless alcoholic obese unemployed slob. Would you still submit to him?



DarkSteven -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 6:24:28 PM)

I suspect there may be a lot.  They wouldn't be serving the Master as much as continuing in the patterns of service itself.



AquaticSub -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 7:05:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Donkfield

Maybe I should ask it like this, so everyone can answer. What if your Master let himself go and turned into a worthless alcoholic obese unemployed slob. Would you still submit to him?


I'm sure some would.

I wouldn't. He would have ceased to be the man I agreed to serve. If I cease to be the woman he desired to own, he'll send me packing.

Now, these things are never quite black and white. Depending on what caused the change and if we have children together would effect how long I stuck around, how hard I would work to get him help putting his life back together. Changes like you've outlined above can happen to even the best of people - however unlikely - but the situations that cause the change aren't all equal.



AnimusRex -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 7:06:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Donkfield
What if your Master let himself go and turned into a worthless alcoholic obese unemployed slob. Would you still submit to him?


I asked Kim that question...she smiled and said, "I love you anyway."

What a sweetheart!



SimplyMichael -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 7:23:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Donkfield

Hi, I have a question, it is purely out of curiosity.

Are there any subs or slaves here that don't like their Dom/Master but serve him anyway because he tells you so? Such as, if you weren't bound by a collar or contract or his will, would you leave? I realize it would be really rare, if even possible, but it makes me question the significance of a contract or collar in the first place.

Maybe I should ask it like this, so everyone can answer. What if your Master let himself go and turned into a worthless alcoholic obese unemployed slob. Would you still submit to him?


You know they do because the chick you are trying to convince to leave is staying with him.



Donkfield -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 7:28:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex


quote:

ORIGINAL: Donkfield
What if your Master let himself go and turned into a worthless alcoholic obese unemployed slob. Would you still submit to him?


I asked Kim that question...she smiled and said, "I love you anyway."

What a sweetheart!


Sounds like a keeper!



DarkSteven -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 7:29:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex


quote:

ORIGINAL: Donkfield
What if your Master let himself go and turned into a worthless alcoholic obese unemployed slob. Would you still submit to him?


I asked Kim that question...she smiled and said, "I love you anyway."

What a sweetheart!


Dibs on her should you ever release her.  [:)]



Donkfield -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 7:30:41 PM)


quote:


You know they do because the chick you are trying to convince to leave is staying with him.


Pretty good read, but not the case this time :)



LadyPact -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 7:32:54 PM)

I have every reason to believe that, on occasion, clip doesn't like Me very much.

At times, by most standards, I treat him terribly.  I make him look in those places in himself that he would rather not see.

Yet, I touch places in him that no one else can bring him.

If he did not want to go there, I would not be his Mistress.

Yes, he could leave.  The opportunity to release himself exists every day.



porcelaine -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 7:33:13 PM)

Donkfield,

quote:

Maybe I should ask it like this, so everyone can answer. What if your Master let himself go and turned into a worthless alcoholic obese unemployed slob. Would you still submit to him?


I'm not attempting to split hairs, but let's be a little realistic for a moment. No one becomes obese overnight. It's definitely something the submissive would watch unfold. I think it would be relatively clear as things progress that he has no plans on changing at that moment. I've never had an obese partner or one that was overweight for that matter. So this is a hard leap for me. The same applies to alcohol. I'm not attracted to men that have addictive personalities or habits. Even on the recovery end. I'd say it's real unlikely either would occur, but I couldn't accept the realities of his decisions. In his current state he's inoperable as a dominant. Yielding to him would be a self-destructive act I'm unwilling to perform.

~porcelaine



subtee -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 7:59:15 PM)

It seems to me that dominance and submission happens between the ears, so if an s-type no longer likes him, that wouldn't be conducive to a relationship, D/s or otherwise. However, people change physically and that doesn't equate to not liking them anymore, if the relationship works.

Consent to submit is a feature in all legal relationships of this type. Collars, contracts, (whatever) are incumbent upon this.



littlewonder -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 8:25:47 PM)

why would I stay if I didn't like him??
Makes no sense to me.
I don't serve for the sake fo serving.
I serve because I like and love him and he is my world.
Anything less is a waste of time to me.



laurell3 -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 8:29:44 PM)

Come on, is this really a question? No contract, collar or agreement ever negates the responsibility to care for yourself first.



Donkfield -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 8:50:14 PM)

Thanks for everyones answers. Obviously I am new to this whole thing. I was just trying to better understand the mentality of a sub/slave. It seems it's not about ownership, but more about belonging to something you want.



Steelslilbit -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 9:16:58 PM)

Donkfield,

In some relationships you are right, it is more about belonging to someone you care about than the actual ownership itself.  I know some relationships however, that are exactly the opposite.  The s-type, slave or submissive, couldn't function in the real world without a collar around their neck.  In this lifestyle there is a lot of duality, there are a lot of labels and words with more than one definition, and not everything is the same for everyone.  Most of us live by the credo "to each is own", meaning that you can do whatever it is that suits your fancy as long as you aren't causing anyone else undo harm (and I say harm because a lot of people I know are pain sluts and you can hurt them all day long.  ^.^). 

For me personally, if someone I had submitted to not only let themselves go but also changed, I would have a conversation with them first, but if nothing changed you can bet your bottom dollar I'd be out of there.  No difference there than in the vanilla world.  If you can't be what I need, then you don't stick around long.  Children (as was the case when my now ex-husband and I divorced) or not, I am unwilling to maintain a destructive relationship.  Especially where the wee ones are concerned, staying in a failed relationship can and does cause more damage than the couple splitting up.  Disagree all you like, this is my opinion as a child of a failed marriage.  I'm glad my mother had the nerve to finally walk away.

Anywho, Porcelaine had a very good point as well.  Things don't usually go sour over night and it's what we do every day that changes our relationships.  :D

Lil Bit



esoclectica -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 9:32:11 PM)

If I may interject. One of the things that people pay lip service to without understanding is the phrase'It takes rwo.' The person you are in a relationship with got the way the way they are with YOUR help, unless it is a physical illness such as serotonin imbalance or cancer. They behaviour that you find objectionable is behaviour that you permitted or even encouraged in the early stages. The classic example in our lifestyle is the bdsm top who morphs into the spouse abuser. Part, albeit not all, of that is learned behaviour. To some small extent the bad behaviour has been anabled. PLEASE do not think that I am saying anyone desrves abuse, or that anyone brought it on themselves and should just accept it. I am saying that it takes time for most people to develop habits, and unacceptable behaviour is usually a learned habit. Please, I hope you understand what I meant to say even if I said it poorly.



leadership527 -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/18/2010 9:47:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Donkfield
Thanks for everyones answers. Obviously I am new to this whole thing. I was just trying to better understand the mentality of a sub/slave. It seems it's not about ownership, but more about belonging to something you want.
I certainly can't answer for the mentality of slaves as a whole. I can guarantee you that Carol's submission to me is contingent on me being a man worthy of submitting to in her eyes. And for her, it has absolutely nothing to do with ownership. It has to do with being the perfect mate for the man she loves.

YMMV



jbcurious -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/19/2010 12:40:55 AM)

I'ts the man who inspires my submissivness not the need to submit...someone who had such a lack of self respect would not be someone who inspired me to be submissive to him.



leadership527 -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/19/2010 12:45:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbcurious
I'ts the man who inspires my submissivness not the need to submit...someone who had such a lack of self respect would not be someone who inspired me to be submissive to him.
You only say that because you're not a true sub.

You can now officially join me and a bunch of others on the "Ask a Fake" board as soon as they get it all set up.



lally2 -> RE: unhappy subs/slaves (5/19/2010 12:54:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Donkfield

.
Maybe I should ask it like this, so everyone can answer. What if your Master let himself go and turned into a worthless alcoholic obese unemployed slob. Would you still submit to him?


it happens though doesnt it, perhaps not over night but you see couples all over the place who have clearly let themselves go - the security and comfort of being with someone for some reason allows them to stop trying to look their best.  why is that?  if for no other reason you should always try to look youre best for youreself.

to be honest, if my M, the man i love and care about had started to slob out id see it as my job to try and get him back on track.  why should a sub just sit back and watch someone deterriorate - how is that loving or caring about someone - just because we're sub doesnt mean we cant get proactive and make necessary changes.  id cut out all the crap in the cupboard and find ways to lure him outside for some exercise.

but if someone just changed and became a horrible, insensitive pig towards me id probably assume he'd lost interest in me and move on.



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