I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head (5/19/2010 7:00:39 PM)

I happen to like Jeff Foxworthy.  I've always gotten a damn good set of laughs out of his 'you might be a redneck' routines.  If you're not familiar with it, the premise of the comedy is the blatantly obvious indication that you are a redneck, and an example of such.

"If you mow your lawn and discover a broken down car in your yard........  You might be a redneck."

I think I'm beginning to make an unconscious automatic association between those redneck routines and the majority of posts that come up here on CM that include some version of the phrase, "I'm new to the lifestyle".

Seriously (which is why I didn't put this in the humor section) the majority of the time that anyone includes that little phrase in a post, it almost seems redundant.  If the person posing the question weren't new to the lifestyle, they probably wouldn't have to ask whatever it is they came here to ask about.


So.........

If you're here asking how you can act Dominant....... we already know that you're new to the lifestyle.

If you made a date with a submissive woman and now you don't know what to do with her.......... we already know that you're new to the lifestyle.

If you have to ask how to be a Master in your relationship........ we already know that you're new to the lifestyle.

If you have to come here to ask basic 101 questions that you could have already found the answer by reading even a single non fiction book about BDSM........ we already know that you're new to the lifestyle.



Please feel free to add your own.



sunshinemiss -> RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head (5/19/2010 7:09:13 PM)

If you use the word "dominate" as a noun... you just might be new ...

*I often actually think... "Here's your sign." ala Bill Engvall.



GoddessImaginos -> RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head (5/19/2010 7:49:09 PM)

If you insist on mass-messaging every single person based solely on gender without bothering with the courtesy of a profile fly-by, and then act insulted when every single person isn't immediately falling all over themselves to respond politely to your lameness.. you're either just really rude, really stupid, or we already know that you're new to the lifestyle..



DarkSteven -> RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head (5/19/2010 8:13:51 PM)

If you make a post here alerting one and all to the fact that there are fakes here... you're new to the lifestyle.
If you believe that there are legit slave training schools... you're new to the lifestyle.
If you ask whether your Master has a right to do something that you don't like... you're new to the lifestyle.



WyldHrt -> RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head (5/19/2010 11:20:15 PM)

quote:

*I often actually think... "Here's your sign." ala Bill Engvall.

*smooches the Sunny one* Jeff foxworthy and Bill Engvall.... redneck comedy gold!

If you ask whether "Kneel Bitch" is an acceptable first email from a 'Dominate'..... you might be new
If your first post is a rant about all the scammers online..... you might be new
If you post asking how to punish your online submissive for not masturbating at work.... you might be new
If you ask whether a first meet should take place with you blindfolded and kneeling in a hotel room.... you might be new
If you post here looking for wank fodder and think the rest of us won't suss what you are after in 3 seconds... you might be new
[:D]







sirsholly -> RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head (5/20/2010 3:31:03 AM)

If you ask the difference between a ProDomme and a prostitute...you might be new



sirsholly -> RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head (5/20/2010 3:33:40 AM)

quote:

Jeff foxworthy and Bill Engvall.... redneck comedy gold!
you have to use the accent, though[:)]



LaTigresse -> RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head (5/20/2010 7:24:51 AM)

I am a fan of Jeff Dunham. I often read posts and want to channel Walter........"Dumbass!!"



yourdarkdesire -> RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head (5/20/2010 8:06:03 AM)

quote:



If you ask whether a first meet should take place with you blindfolded and kneeling in a hotel room.... you might be new


damn - wish someone had told me this a few years ago!!!! lol



LadyPact -> RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head (5/21/2010 6:19:17 PM)

If you don't have a lick of real experience with any other this, but want to tell others the way it should be done........ you might be new to the lifestyle.



windchymes -> RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head (5/22/2010 3:19:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I am a fan of Jeff Dunham. I often read posts and want to channel Walter........"Dumbass!!"


I want to channel Achmed the Dead Terrorist...."I KEEL YOU!  I KEEL YOU ALL!"  [:D]



sunshinemiss -> RE: I think I have a Jeff Foxworthy repeat in My head (5/22/2010 7:11:58 PM)

You know I do that in my classes! lol... and then I pretend to stab myself... It always gets a laugh.



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