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I sent her dad (he knew me from highschool when me and her would hang out) a "hey is she ok" email. He naturaly told her about it, and she flipped.

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So, this (the email to her dad) happened Wednesday morning, but I havent talked to her personally since.

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ORIGINAL: MadameMarque

If you require attention, whenever you're doing something that shows attention to your dominant, you can imagine how that is potentially a problem. Or if, in showing interest in your dominant, you end up asking them to report everything to you, it might even be seen as you claiming the right to know everything that's going on with them, at all times. Of course, we don't know - might one of these be the problem?

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ORIGINAL: porcelaine

blackpearl81

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I sent her dad (he knew me from highschool when me and her would hang out) a "hey is she ok" email. He naturaly told her about it, and she flipped.

Do you really believe she was in danger or was this a tactic to get her to talk?

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So, this (the email to her dad) happened Wednesday morning, but I havent talked to her personally since.

If this happened to me I'd be done. Seriously. I think you crossed a line by contacting her father. There's no justifiable reason for doing so save the fact you wanted to talk. It comes off as selfish and then some.

~porcelaine

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ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Sod all this for a lark. OK, lesson learned - the contacting her family thing wasn't a good move. So we all make balls-ups. I don't think you need to make an appointment with a psychiatrist just yet. You're a good-looking guy with a dose of style. Things will work out, one way or another.

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I wouldn't say danger. But who knows. For all I knew she could have been in the hospital or something.

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ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

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ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Better yet, just molest me and get the hell out!  [:D] 

Nu-uh. You said it yourself: you're cuddly. I demand a cuddle before I go. :P

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ORIGINAL: blackpearl81

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ORIGINAL: MadameMarque

If you require attention, whenever you're doing something that shows attention to your dominant, you can imagine how that is potentially a problem. Or if, in showing interest in your dominant, you end up asking them to report everything to you, it might even be seen as you claiming the right to know everything that's going on with them, at all times. Of course, we don't know - might one of these be the problem?

Not sure. I mean, it was just friendly banter - "hey how you doin, whats goin on" type stuff.

"Oh youre doing x,y z? cool, have fun!"

It was just the then unexplained lack of contact. I mean, if you were talking with someone daily, then it started slowing down, I'd be scratching my head going "huh?". (Which, I did =os)

Also, I should point out - this isn't a dynamic. Pretty much a vanilla friends relationship. Nothing romantic. (At least, not at the time. I was hoping it would eventually go that route however - she knew that, but she had just gotten out of a relationship several months prior)

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ORIGINAL: porcelaine

blackpearl81,

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I wouldn't say danger. But who knows. For all I knew she could have been in the hospital or something.

She probably won't see it that way. Trust me. I'm a girl. We talk about this sort of thing. And the words that follow are never awww. But there are a lot of expletives.

I understand this hinges on frequency of contact but that was never yours to define. You'll come off looking pushy, impatient, and possibly a little nuts after the email. I wouldn't bother her anymore. If she wants to talk she knows how to get in touch. Don't over think or second guess. She wants the silence you're experiencing.

~porcelaine

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ORIGINAL: MadameMarque

When you say, "this isn't a dynamic," you mean no D/s dynamic, right? Those of us responding to your original post are confused by your original question,
"Does anyone here think that the same thing is possible, given the roles of the D/s (respectively)? I mean, depending on how a particular couples relationship is defined, isn't the submissive supposed to show attention for their Dominant?"

You appear to be asking, can a submissive pay too much attention to a dominant? Then you relate that to a history of feedback you've received in non-D/s relationships, of problems with what seems to be "too much attention."

Smothering, crowding, manipulation are still possible, from a submissive/bottom/slave to a dominant/top/owner. But the acceptable ways in which partners pay attention to each other and address each other's needs, in a dominant/submissive relationship, are in many ways typically different than in a vanilla relationship, so I believe it makes some difference which you're discussing.

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ORIGINAL: blackpearl81

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ORIGINAL: MadameMarque

If you require attention, whenever you're doing something that shows attention to your dominant, you can imagine how that is potentially a problem. Or if, in showing interest in your dominant, you end up asking them to report everything to you, it might even be seen as you claiming the right to know everything that's going on with them, at all times. Of course, we don't know - might one of these be the problem?

Not sure. I mean, it was just friendly banter - "hey how you doin, whats goin on" type stuff.

"Oh youre doing x,y z? cool, have fun!"

It was just the then unexplained lack of contact. I mean, if you were talking with someone daily, then it started slowing down, I'd be scratching my head going "huh?". (Which, I did =os)

Also, I should point out - this isn't a dynamic. Pretty much a vanilla friends relationship. Nothing romantic. (At least, not at the time. I was hoping it would eventually go that route however - she knew that, but she had just gotten out of a relationship several months prior)

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ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

ohohoh pick me VC pick me! I'll give you the cuddle, hand feed you Revels....then get the fuck out before being told to.

beat that lp