RE: Can BDSM, D/s, and M/s exist without ANY humiliation?

RE: Can BDSM, D/s, and M/s exist without ANY humiliation? (Full Version)

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Focus50 -> RE: Can BDSM, D/s, and M/s exist without ANY humiliation? (5/21/2010 3:55:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot There are many vanilla relationships, especially in patriarchal countries in which everyone from the outside clearly sees that the woman is suffering abuse from her boyfriend or husband, while she always says "But I love him that way, he loves me so much etc" It may be the case that they are in a D/s relationship without even being aware of it. It may also be the case that she is suffering real abuse, but she got used to it, and she thinks this is the only proper way. I wonder if the person inside the relationship is always right in how she or he categorize the relationship they are in. Is it possible that she THINKS that she likes it and that she THINKS it is healthy and not abusive, while in reality the relationship is indeed abusive, and she isn't even aware of the abuse she suffers? This pretty much confirms the point I originally made about perspective. Now yours is that "nilla pervert" I spoke of on the outside looking in through the window rather than of the people actually living the dynamic. And you said I wasn't being productive...! tsk tsk You really do need to work out where you stand first. Focus.

DesFIP -> RE: Can BDSM, D/s, and M/s exist without ANY humiliation? (5/21/2010 4:33:13 PM)
We don't do humiliation, it hits a nasty emotional trigger. We also don't do s & m. And we don't have a punishment dynamic. So what? Whether or not you like a flogger does not determine if you're allowed to be a card carrying member of wiitwd. Nobody but you decides what you do or don't. And no matter what you do or don't do, you still aren't going to get an official bdsm card. There is no secret governing body that rules on whether you may do this or not.

laurell3 -> RE: Can BDSM, D/s, and M/s exist without ANY humiliation? (5/21/2010 4:58:43 PM)
psst...you didn't get the memo? hmm...hides her card....

DrW -> RE: Can BDSM, D/s, and M/s exist without ANY humiliation? (5/21/2010 6:31:50 PM)
I don't like humiliating my partner, or any other person for that matter. However, I've had partners who enjoyed or were aroused by or craved humiliation. Good relationships require compromise. Do you compromise your own principals for your partner's gratification? Sometimes I'll stretch a bit I guess, but I prefer to think and be creative. Like creating an embarrasing situation for her instead. VERY embarassing. Let the humiliation occur in her own mind, and I'm still true to my own principals.

PeonForHer -> RE: Can BDSM, D/s, and M/s exist without ANY humiliation? (5/21/2010 7:19:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact LOL. That's because you see very little as actual humiliation. Really? I find almost everything about D/s humiliating. If I didn't find a particular thing humiliating to start with, I'd make an effort to squeeze humiliation out of it. I'd do that for myself, as well, without the D in question making any conscious effort to humiliate me whatsoever. Guess what? I like humiliation, and I liked it before the internet was invented, and before I'd even seen a porny mag.

jbcurious -> RE: Can BDSM, D/s, and M/s exist without ANY humiliation? (5/21/2010 7:31:10 PM)
One of my first posts on this site dealt with what I felt to be the use of derrogatory language in addressing subs...what a difference a couple of months and a better understanding makes. I find myself with the warm fuzzies these days when addressed as a hot lil slut... [:)]

Hawkwindblues -> RE: Can BDSM, D/s, and M/s exist without ANY humiliation? (5/21/2010 9:13:29 PM)
quote: Let the humiliation occur in her own mind, and I'm still true to my own principals. As i have a very similar point of view and take nearly the same road when dominating somebody i quote DrW. Many years ago as i learned of the importance of humilation for some, i was quite appalled, because i thought it cruel in a terrible way, the more i learned the more i understood, but i am still not really into it on both sides of the kneel.

IronBear -> RE: Can BDSM, D/s, and M/s exist without ANY humiliation? (5/22/2010 1:37:14 AM)
~ FR ~ For starters, I have read nothing of the replies thus far so please bear with me if I am repeating something already espoused. Initially, I would ask the OP to define humiliation. For me it would not be humiliating to be found cleaning out dunnies at a medieval event such as the SCA or taking a turn as a kitchen hand or even chef for a feast. I had at one stage no issues calking around a principality event carrying a baby in my arms singing an Irish lullaby to the infant till he slept whilst wearing my full suit of chain and leather armour and sword strapped. Nor allowing another young child to ride on my shoulders for a while, in both cases to give the respective mothers some respite and enjoy themselves. For other manly men this would be humiliating as I was so informed when carrying my own male babe in a sling across the front of my body when shopping. We all have our thresholds of humiliation. People have tried to humiliate me or shame me because I stand proudly behind what I believe and how I live my life. They failed! I do not like humiliating anyone so it would be unusual for me to have a slave collared to me who loved certainly extreme humiliation. probably the worst I would do would be to lead said slave on a chain in public and have her serve me and kneel beside me in public. That By the way is most unlikely to occur. Ergo it depends on what is thought to be humiliating at any given time.Yes BDSM ans D/s as well as M/s can and does exist without humiliation.

littlegirlangel -> RE: Can BDSM, D/s, and M/s exist without ANY humiliation? (5/22/2010 6:47:27 PM)
Yes, it's very possible to have a D/s relationship without the humiliation factor. Daddy never humiliates me, even the things we do in public at the dungeons he makes sure I'm okay with. I don't like being humiliated and he doesn't like to humiliate so there's need for it. Of course there's some things that I enjoy that others might find humiliating but they're not for me.

lovingpet -> RE: Can BDSM, D/s, and M/s exist without ANY humiliation? (5/22/2010 7:49:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DrW Let the humiliation occur in her own mind, and I'm still true to my own principals. Principles or no, humiliation ALWAYS occurs in the submissive's own mind because it is there there that something is deemed humiliating or not. lovingpet

PeonForHer -> RE: Can BDSM, D/s, and M/s exist without ANY humiliation? (5/22/2010 8:47:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovingpet quote: ORIGINAL: DrW Let the humiliation occur in her own mind, and I'm still true to my own principals. Principles or no, humiliation ALWAYS occurs in the submissive's own mind because it is there there that something is deemed humiliating or not. lovingpet Spot on. 'Humiliation' refers to feelings and not to any list of specific acts. As far as I'm concerned D/s is imbued with unfairness, and unfairness is humiliating by definition. By my definition, that is - and I define it that way because I like it that way.

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