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KingofHearts2010 -> Advice (5/21/2010 6:21:47 PM)
Ok I've lived the Dom/sub lifestyle since I started dating, I took a three year break to see if I could live another lifestyle. The results being that I've come back. Now before I took my break I let my sub go, because she being a slave was all she knew, when I came back she was owned by a friend of mine now I'm looking for a new one but all that I can find are guys(which I'm not into) women new to the life style with little to no training(which I have no problem with training a new slave, but some have too many limits for me to deal with) or they're already owned. I need help finding a new one. If any one has any hints, tips or advice do share

DarkSteven -> RE: Advice (5/21/2010 6:26:10 PM)
My only tip is to be patient. I've been looking for a while myself.

warlock1935 -> RE: Advice (5/21/2010 6:36:34 PM)
I'm finding girls pretty easily on FetLife; plus I'm a Bondage video producer, so I'm meeting a lot of Bondage models too. I never have trouble finding a good BDSM submissive; it takes a few months to find a really excellent D/s submissive who's also attractive, though. But then I collared my first submissive in 1973, so I've had a lot of practice.

KingofHearts2010 -> RE: Advice (5/21/2010 7:36:25 PM)
Thank you gentle men. I will keep that in mind

Focus50 -> RE: Advice (5/21/2010 8:38:28 PM)
You might wanna consider that limits are like safeguards, esp for newbies and extra esp because women need to be more careful... Point being, when you take the time to cultivate a worthwhile relationship it's amazing how readily most of those excess "limits" have a way of becoming redundant. Same for a safeword, actually.... What you don't wanna deal with basically amounts to taking the time to build trust, to earn respect etc. Don't expect to find it with a quick-fix - you know, like to see if you "could live another lifestyle".... All relationships are largely the same, you don't usually get out more than you're prepared to put into it. And it is actually possible for that newbie with all those limits to be a person you connect with at all manner of other levels.... Focus.

KingofHearts2010 -> RE: Advice (5/21/2010 9:02:12 PM)
Thanks for that I guess my youth is jumping to the front of the line, when it comes to that. That's why I asked for advice. I might be young but even I know when to sit down shut up and listen. It seems I still have a lot to learn but thats what life about. again thank you. Not all young people are thick headed.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Advice (5/22/2010 12:22:24 AM)
Have you tried getting out into your local community? Or attending more nationally recognized events? Sometimes building a (good) reputation in these circles helps. Master Fire

Lockit -> RE: Advice (5/22/2010 11:55:43 AM)
How about making sure you are someone that can follow through as a dominant/spouse/whatever before you look for a new slave? You took on a slave and released her to go live another way. Now you may know what you want, but with your history, a slave may not be real confident in opening her life to you because you did bail on a slave before. What's to say you won't again? Is the object to find a slave or to refine yourself to be master-ready, for a slave? Is it what a slave does that is more important or what a master does that's more important at this point? It sounds like when you do jump, you jump in all the way, no testing the water, just jump in and get to the goods, when it might be best to test the water before you jump in.

subsfaith -> RE: Advice (5/22/2010 1:02:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KingofHearts2010 but all that I can find are guys(which I'm not into) women new to the life style with little to no training(which I have no problem with training a new slave, but some have too many limits for me to deal with) You joined a day ago... good Lord, who would actually want to be your slave when you have such little patience. Your profile is brief and tells me very little about you. Your journal entry reads of a man who is either arrogant, or very self-aware. Given that you left the lifestyle and have now come back to the lifestyle, it strikes me as not very self-aware. I don't mean to be harsh, but this is the impression YOU are giving me when I look at your details. If I might be so bold, learn a lesson or three about patience, learn about yourself and what you want, put it on your profile, speak to others and perhaps become involved in your local community. Above all else, educate yourself.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Advice (5/22/2010 1:03:11 PM)
Don't break your toys and they last longer.

LadyPact -> RE: Advice (5/22/2010 1:29:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam Have you tried getting out into your local community? Or attending more nationally recognized events? Sometimes building a (good) reputation in these circles helps. Master Fire Agreed.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Advice (5/22/2010 1:47:26 PM)
1.) Your profile text doesn't say much, and it mentions punishment repeatedly. Not everyone wants a reward/punishment dynamic. So that limits you. And your profile text doesn't sell you. What specifically do you have to offer? What's so great about you as a dom, and as a person? [8\|] 2.) Your journal entry is all about sex, and is fantasy based. 3.) You smoke! Eeew! [:'(] In short, your profile makes you seem like an inexperienced wanker, with not much to offer a prospective sub. Even more troubling is that you seem not to know that. As subsfaith said: it seems that you're lacking self-awareness. My advice: be upfront about that, and ask for a play partner or a mentor, instead of a more serious involvement. Someone who can help you discover more about yourself. If I were you I wouldn't put myself out there as a dom, but as a top. And quit smoking!

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