RE: Dominant duties?

RE: Dominant duties? (Full Version)

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twicehappy -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/8/2006 8:22:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TxBadMan quote: What we do (or don't do, in this case) does not define who we are. Very wise words right there. I am a sadist; 24/7, 365 days a year. Just because I don't happen to be 'playing' at any particular time does not negate the fact that I am still a sadist. Being a sadist is not the same as being a Master. You can be a sadist and not a Master; you can be a masochist and not be a slave. A Master may or may not be sadistic; a slave may or not be a masochist. Master simply refers to one who owns another. If you do not currently own a sub/slave you are still a dominant but who are you Master of?

Level -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/8/2006 8:29:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash LMAO...OK you may have the floor & who's wore out, I had my nap..ha ha? As to the original post..YES...a Dominant is still a Dominant even on a bad day when he/she only wants to kick back and take it easy. Same goes for a submissive, well as long as they already brought me a beer (chuckles). LOL Scooter......I appreciate your insight on this, and agree with you. Especially on the beer part grins

TxBadMan -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/8/2006 9:21:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: twicehappy quote: ORIGINAL: TxBadMan quote: What we do (or don't do, in this case) does not define who we are. Very wise words right there. I am a sadist; 24/7, 365 days a year. Just because I don't happen to be 'playing' at any particular time does not negate the fact that I am still a sadist. Being a sadist is not the same as being a Master. You can be a sadist and not a Master; you can be a masochist and not be a slave. A Master may or may not be sadistic; a slave may or not be a masochist. Master simply refers to one who owns another. If you do not currently own a sub/slave you are still a dominant but who are you Master of? It was only being used to reference the statement that had been made beforehand ' "What we do, or don't do, does not define who we are"

SirKenin -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/8/2006 9:57:12 PM)
I go low key at times. I have for the past several months as a matter of fact. That does not change My status as a Dom. Being a Dom has always very much been a part of Me. It just means that I go through periods of "blah". If My sub happens to do that, I do not expect anything of her either. I accomodate her as much as is humanly possible and encourage her just to be herself.. Eventually she will just snap out of it, unless she would choose to go vanilla, in which case there is nothing I can do to stop her, even if I did try.

BitaTruble -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 12:01:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level A couple of posts in other threads, as well as pre-existing thoughts in my mind, led me to post this. Does a dominant stop being one if he is not dominating? I mean, if Steven Seagal isn't kicking somebody's ass, does that mean he's no longer a tough guy? Of course not, he still is what he is... isn't he? If he (the dominant, not Seagal) isn't doing scenes with his submissive......if he isn't issuing orders.......what then? To me, a dominant or submissive remain what they are even if they aren't "doing it", for lack of a better term. And if the submissive knows what the dominant wants and expects, should she not work to obey and please him without being "run roughshod" over? This isn't about a dominant "going vanilla", but due to circumstances, finds himself in a very low-energy period. How a would a submissive handle such a situation? For the dominants, have you encountered low energy periods? Inquiring minds want to know.... Level Ok, what I'm reading here is.. Is it ok to have all the benefits and perks of being a Master, but none of the responsibilities that go along with it.. and shouldn't slaves just accept this, bite the bullet and give us a break? Masters get tiiiiiiiiiired.. (insert whine here). That about it? If I've read the question incorrectly, please let me know, so I can properly answer such a query. ;) Celeste

ownedgirlie -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 2:30:54 AM)
i read it a bit differently. i read it as, sometimes a Master has a lot going on and just doesn't feel like making use of his slave (or Dom/sub) at the time. And if that is the case, the slave (sub) goes on doing what she (he) does, and waits patiently and eagerly for Master (Dominant) to refuel. This isn't to say he ceases to be dominant, or even that he ceases to dominate her. He rules her regardless but may just not have as much of a "hands on" approach as usual.

twicehappy -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 4:00:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash LMAO...OK you may have the floor & who's wore out, I had my nap..ha ha? As to the original post..YES...a Dominant is still a Dominant even on a bad day when he/she only wants to kick back and take it easy. Same goes for a submissive, well as long as they already brought me a beer (chuckles). Master's slave tess enters room, kneels quietly on floor patiently waiting for Master to take shoe out of one hand and stop typing with other. ScooterTrash needs a free hand to grab beer with. Beer Master? On a side note, Level you will have to get your own beer.

ScooterTrash -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 4:35:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie i read it a bit differently. i read it as, sometimes a Master has a lot going on and just doesn't feel like making use of his slave (or Dom/sub) at the time. And if that is the case, the slave (sub) goes on doing what she (he) does, and waits patiently and eagerly for Master (Dominant) to refuel. This isn't to say he ceases to be dominant, or even that he ceases to dominate her. He rules her regardless but may just not have as much of a "hands on" approach as usual. I would agree completely with this, particularly if this is what the OP is describing. You don't stop being something just because at the moment you don't appear to be doing the "customary" thing. quote: On a side note, Level you will have to get your own beer. Sorry Level. If you were closer, I would have allowed it..lol.

meatcleaver -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 5:01:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sunshine119 The tops I know just dominate during a sceen and are back to everyday life the next day. There is no "air" about them that causes that instant recognition. Often, I have noticed that they are distinctly different from the natural dominants listed above, most often in the manners department. Tops often just get mad and frustrated when things don't go their way, losing their tempers. These distinctions can often be witnessed on these boards. I'll prove your point. One of the biggest problems I find with doms is that they have little patience for reflection. They will happily lead you towards a fire rather than away from one rather than admit they don't know something. They have a natural sense of power and often misinterpret that for wisdom and knowledge. The amount of times I've sat in a meeting and heard someone with a natural air of authority spout off about plans and strategy based on personal prejudice without any reflection on the facts is too numerous to count. But what pisses me off most, is that when the shit hits the fan they blame other people for not doing their job properly when the initial strategy was fatally flawed. Even worse, when a flawed plan is made to work by others who see the fatal flaw and corrupt the strategy to make it work, the natural dom takes the credit, even amongst the sniggers of others because they are blind to everything but their own sense of rightness. When I come across someone with an exaggerated air of authority my antenna go up and I analyse what they say. There is no way I'm going to be a lemming and follow one over the cliff.

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 5:10:51 AM)
quote: The amount of times I've sat in a meeting and heard someone with a natural air of authority spout off about plans and strategy based on personal prejudice without any reflection on the facts is too numerous to count. But what pisses me off most, is that when the shit hits the fan they blame other people for not doing their job properly when the initial strategy was fatally flawed. Even worse, when a flawed plan is made to work by others who see the fatal flaw and corrupt the strategy to make it work, the natural dom takes the credit, even amongst the sniggers of others because they are blind to everything but their own sense of rightness. OMG... how many times have I seen this??? Amazing, isn't it? I don't see it as "undomly" to listen to those around you, sub/slave or otherwise. In fact, I see it as a responsibility. When we are out shopping for antiques, mainly books, we ALL go over each section.. one eye may catch what another missed. It should be that way in everyday life.

Level -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 5:20:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble Ok, what I'm reading here is.. Is it ok to have all the benefits and perks of being a Master, but none of the responsibilities that go along with it.. and shouldn't slaves just accept this, bite the bullet and give us a break? Masters get tiiiiiiiiiired.. (insert whine here). That about it? If I've read the question incorrectly, please let me know, so I can properly answer such a query. ;) Celeste laughs........all right, let me be a bit more explicit. I don't just mean "I've had a rough day at work", though that can be part of the equation. And I did have myself in mind with the topic, at least to a degree.....over the last few months, I've had my home destroyed by hurricane Rita, lived in 6 different places before finding a new home, saw my best friend of over 25 years buried, had two other family members die, and am in the process of seeing my second closest friendship end. Add to that a stressful job, and taking care of an aging parent..... Yes, many evenings, as of late, I come home and I am very tired. Not being in a relationship, much of this is naturally hypothetical to me. I would not come home and pat my submissive on the head as I made my way to the bedroom, where I would lock the door and curl up in the fetal posistion lol. But, neither would I be swinging from the chandeliers, whip clenched between my teeth. *I don't want, or need, any pity parties, by the way. Things are looking up, and I'll be fine smiles. I'm one of those that always believes that the wheel will turn. Even if I bitch a bit LOL.* And I'm interested in your (and anyone else's) thoughts on how a dominant could potentially fail in regards to their responsibilities in such a situation. Level

Level -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 5:26:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: twicehappy On a side note, Level you will have to get your own beer. Get my own??? [:(] quote: ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash Sorry Level. If you were closer, I would have allowed it..lol. LOL, well, thanks for that grins

Level -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 5:29:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel quote: The amount of times I've sat in a meeting and heard someone with a natural air of authority spout off about plans and strategy based on personal prejudice without any reflection on the facts is too numerous to count. But what pisses me off most, is that when the shit hits the fan they blame other people for not doing their job properly when the initial strategy was fatally flawed. Even worse, when a flawed plan is made to work by others who see the fatal flaw and corrupt the strategy to make it work, the natural dom takes the credit, even amongst the sniggers of others because they are blind to everything but their own sense of rightness. OMG... how many times have I seen this??? Amazing, isn't it? I don't see it as "undomly" to listen to those around you, sub/slave or otherwise. In fact, I see it as a responsibility. When we are out shopping for antiques, mainly books, we ALL go over each section.. one eye may catch what another missed. It should be that way in everyday life. Agreed. There is nothing of value in being blind to learning from others, and there is nothing undominant in admitting when you're wrong......quite the opposite, in my opinion.

cloudboy -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 5:37:00 AM)
OK, I just have to ask, why did you chose the name "meatcleaver" as your screename?

twicehappy -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 5:46:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: ORIGINAL: twicehappy On a side note, Level you will have to get your own beer. Get my own??? [:(] quote: ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash Sorry Level. If you were closer, I would have allowed it..lol. LOL, well, thanks for that grins [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m11.gif[/image] [image]http://www.netorpheus.com/beer/waitress_beer.jpg[/image]

slavejali -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 5:53:36 AM)
I didnt know how to respond to your intital post, so didnt. After reading the additional information however ...[:)] Stuff happens in life that will make any human being feel less than energetic, Doms included, its natural. Any good submissive worth her weight would realise you've had a hard time and be supportive...well actually...if this wasnt hypothetical and you had a submissive, she would have been through exactly what you had, she would have lived through it with you, so you would probably find you were both a little less energetic than usual...and both have to be supportive of each other. You would probably find that you both had to make extra effort to have fun times and develop goals and dreams together to carry you both through this period.

feastie -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 5:58:44 AM)
No one can be "on" all the time. It's ridiculous to think so. People, dominant and submissive, have lives outside their personal relationships with many influencing factors, such as jobs, hurricanes (my home wasn't taken, thank God...I'm sorry to hear yours was, Level), aging parents, teenagers, children...the list is endless. The relationship, in its most natural state, is the same as any other. Each does what it takes to manage life. Does it mean that the partners are not currently dominant and submissive? Of course not. The submissive will do what pleases her dominant naturally. She'll bring that beer or whatever little things he enjoys. He will, naturally, thank her and tell her she's a good girl. That's all it takes to maintain the perspective. He doesn't have to walk around dressed in his leathers with his whip on his belt and she wearing her skin and precious little else and on her knees. (Think of the callouses!) Personally, I don't think the kids ought to be privy to that anyway ;) It boils down to common sense and acceptance that while the D/s (or M/s or whatever) relationship has differences from the normal vanilla, they also have common ground. Being D/s doesn't mean we are exclusive from the same life experiences as anyone else.

meatcleaver -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 6:03:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy OK, I just have to ask, why did you chose the name "meatcleaver" as your screename? I was actually drawing one at the time when I got involved in a distraction activity of browsing this site but on reflection I guess I should have chose the name "icepick" lol. Am I dom? I've no idea, reflecting on what I am has got me nowhere (I guess such judgements are for other people), though I always like to top.

ScooterTrash -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 6:08:55 AM)
I agree, some days when I get home from work I am just tired...so all I really want to do is just relax. Everyone can sense this and it doesn't mean I am no longer Dominant, it just means I want to rest..lol. Of course in our case with two Dominants in the house....it's not that big a deal [;)]

Level -> RE: Dominant duties? (4/9/2006 6:20:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: twicehappy [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m11.gif[/image] [image]http://www.netorpheus.com/beer/waitress_beer.jpg[/image] Thank you, twicehappy [:D].

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