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CaringandReal -> RE: Where have all the good Doms gone? (5/25/2010 5:04:55 AM)
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ORIGINAL: porcelaine
Phoenixpower,
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I met the best Dom ever so far (from CM) at a time when I was rather low after a very bad meeting indeed (as some on here know) and he was mature enough to know that people are down in life at times as after all it is part of human being.
I'm sorry. I disagree. Being human has nothing to do with venting or wearing your frustrations out in the open on a dating site. That's a choice.
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I prefer the saying that if someone can't handle me at my worst he doesn't deserve me at the best. And someone being mature enough not to run off scared straight away just because someone might not be the happiest bunny for whatever reason at that time turns out to be a real jewel in life sometimes...so whilst of course it is better when you aren't down due to wasting your time with people which aren't what you were looking for...I do appreciate it when a Dom can handle such moments, too...
You seem to believe that if he doesn't want to deal with your junk he's immature. Those are your issues. He has to determine what he's willing to take on. If it isn't his cup of tea it's better to find out sooner than later in my opinion.
~porcelaine
This is also a matter of style or preference and not substance, in my opinion. Some submissives look for, want, and even find masters willing to deal with their "junk" and form very happy and long-term relationships with such. Some masters delight in finding out what's wrong with their property, be it house, car, or woman, and fixing it up. Those two sorts of people are made for each other, I think. Dominants who use the term "daddy" to describe themselves are often of this type.
Other submissives consciously look for or even accidentally happen upon a dominant with far less tolerance for fixer-uppers and come to believe his style is the best because he's the one they submit to, basically.
But again, it boils down to styles of dominating--not the core issue of properly dominant vs. not properly dominant for perferring one over the other. One woman's "immature dom" is another woman's dream master and one woman's "intolerant jerk" is another's perfert Lord. I've experienced both types and don't have a particular preference in this area. Both were extraordinary--in their own ways--but very different in their styles of dominance. What makes a dominant right for me is that when I am with him, his style of dominance, whatever it happened to be, feels like it is the best for me at this time. I wish I could analyze precisely what that certain something is that makes a dominant "right for me," but I've never been able to do that. All I know is that mysterious gestalt extends beyond stylistic matters such as these. At least for me.
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