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Next time...just gag me please - 4/8/2006 8:34:10 PM

Tikkiee

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So, last night my boyfriend and I decide to go to a private demonstration on knife play. All in all, there were about 30 people there. Now, I hate knife play. I hate it with a passion.
We get there, talk for a bit with the others who are present; all the while I am getting a bit antsy for the demo to start. Even though I personally do not like knife play myself, I do enjoy watching it.
After the demo, the Domme asks if anyone would like to 'volunteer' for a short session. Next thing I know, I am being 'volunteered'

Not happy. Not one bit. Despite this, I go ahead and consent; it's either that or make a HUGE scene right then and there. Needless to say, the fight when we got home was a huge one.
Tonight, we went to a club in Dallas that we frequent often. The Domme from the night before was there, she invites us to sit with her and her companions. As we are sitting there, the talk turns to the night before. She laughs, and jokingly says to me 'so Cass, would you like a repeat?"
I open my mouth to tell her in no uncertain terms 'NO WAY IN HELL' when all of a sudden I hear a squeek 'Yes please"

And the worse part is that I STILL HATE knife play.

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RE: Next time...just gag me please - 4/8/2006 9:01:07 PM

Chaingang

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Hmmm...Unless you actually like this kind of treatment your bf sounds like a dick. Alternatively, you might be an idiot. Always hard to tell from the outside...

But good thing you didn't make a HUGE scene - it's so important to have your priorities straight...

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RE: Next time...just gag me please - 4/8/2006 9:25:21 PM

Evanesce

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quote:

And the worse part is that I STILL HATE knife play.

Guess you don't hate it as much as you think you do. After the "yes, please," did you actually go do it again?

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RE: Next time...just gag me please - 4/8/2006 9:35:57 PM

Tikkiee

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quote:

After the "yes, please," did you actually go do it again?

LOL I sat there for about 10 seconds with my mouth hanging open, totally shocked. I was about to tell her no, I DID NOT want to do it again when I made the mistake of looking at Chris. He had this 'well, I dare you' look on his face.
I never could resist a challenge.

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RE: Next time...just gag me please - 4/8/2006 9:42:52 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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LOL...Did you evee think that Chris knew this aspect of your personality and deliberately gave you this challenging look so that you would respond in the way that you did..Possibly with the hope that if subject to knife play often enough that your utter dislike of it would diminish and enable him to expand your horizons...if this is in the realm of possibility then I say you have one clever, manipulative,intelligient..oh soo sneaky Dom on your hands..LOL...have fun!..Tempting

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RE: Next time...just gag me please - 4/8/2006 10:28:45 PM

TxBadMan

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Miss Tempting, you are one smart young lady

The look on Tikk's face during the play made the fight the night before more than worth the names she called me. It was one of complete and utter fascination. I will admit though that I was shocked when she said 'yes please', I fully expected her to refuse.
It was indeed a wonderful night.

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RE: Next time...just gag me please - 4/8/2006 11:10:51 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Grin....thank you!..especially for the young lady portion.

..I hope you have many more challenging good nights.....be well..Tempting

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RE: Next time...just gag me please - 4/9/2006 5:01:20 AM

ScooterTrash

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Sounds like you hate the knife play but a more verbal part (the part that needs the gag) of you must be into the adrenaline rush.

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RE: Next time...just gag me please - 4/9/2006 1:10:10 PM

Tikkiee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash

Sounds like you hate the knife play but a more verbal part (the part that needs the gag) of you must be into the adrenaline rush.

Well, I can be totally honest and say that knives absolutly terrify me. I had a bad experience as a child and it has always stayed with me, but at the same time, knife play fascinates me. Sort of like an internal struggle going on within myself

We had talked about the reasons behind my refusal to partake in this particular activity many times over the years, though this was the first time he 'challenged me into doing it'. I guess he figured I was ready to face the fear instead of standing on the sidelines hiding from it. Though I can still not say that I like knife play, I can now say that I faced the fear and beat it.

MissTempting, you are correct in the assumption that Chris does love to challenge me to try new things, despite how I may feel about them. Sometimes I hate that he can do that, but I also know that he only does it out of love and concern.

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RE: Next time...just gag me please - 4/9/2006 4:51:32 PM

DelightMachine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang

Hmmm...Unless you actually like this kind of treatment your bf sounds like a dick. Alternatively, you might be an idiot. Always hard to tell from the outside...

But good thing you didn't make a HUGE scene - it's so important to have your priorities straight...

This is dense beyond belief. We're exploring strange emotions here -- one of the most important aspects of Collar Me. We're looking for support when we're afraid, looking for answers to help us understand everything from techniques to the way to deal with the lifestyles. That includes trying to deal with conflicting emotions which is clearly what the OP was talking about.

And all this first response does is offer abuse.

Conflicting emotions are at the heart of WIIWD, remember?

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RE: Next time...just gag me please - 4/9/2006 5:01:11 PM

DelightMachine

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You insist in your profile that you're not into D/s, you just like masochism. Some thoughts:
1. Maybe there's just a little element of submission in masochism -- heck, there's a little bit of submission in every loving relationship.
2. You're into masochism, been doing it for a while, so now maybe a part of you wants to explore.
3. This has happened a number of times to me: I see some practice that disgusts me; I think about it a lot (you mention that you've talked about knife play a lot); I start becoming intrigued by it, wondering what it feels like; I want to satisfy my curiosity by trying it; I try it, and find it's an intense experience, and I'm still curious about it and maybe want to understand the feelings better, so I do it again. Sometimes I get hooked on it. Other people have said they feel the same process.

There's nothing wrong in having conflicting emotions, in experimenting. In fact, you're brave for doing it.

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RE: Next time...just gag me please - 4/9/2006 5:41:21 PM

Tikkiee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DelightMachine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang

Hmmm...Unless you actually like this kind of treatment your bf sounds like a dick. Alternatively, you might be an idiot. Always hard to tell from the outside...

But good thing you didn't make a HUGE scene - it's so important to have your priorities straight...

This is dense beyond belief. We're exploring strange emotions here -- one of the most important aspects of Collar Me. We're looking for support when we're afraid, looking for answers to help us understand everything from techniques to the way to deal with the lifestyles. That includes trying to deal with conflicting emotions which is clearly what the OP was talking about.

And all this first response does is offer abuse.

Conflicting emotions are at the heart of WIIWD, remember?

I originally was not going to comment on the comments from Chaingang, but I changed my mind. Most of the post I will simply ignore

, but I would like to throw in something in regards to 'keeping my priorities straight'. Making a scene in public over something so trivial as him pushing me to try something, is childish. In addition to that, this WAS a private party. I would never think to act so immaturly and embarrass not only those who invited us, but him also.
Yes, I was angry at him at the time it happened, and yes, he knew it. But I have enough control over myself that I can contain such anger until a more approiate time.

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