Domme that maybe sub? (Full Version)

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nscdevoted1 -> Domme that maybe sub? (5/24/2010 11:42:31 PM)

Have met a lady, claims to be Domme but has other profiles that demonstrate very submissive tendancies.  She claims that her Domee will over rule her sub, but her sub seems to be very strong.  Don't want to get involved in a relationship that is destined to fail, need help.



laurell3 -> RE: Domme that maybe sub? (5/24/2010 11:48:44 PM)

has she been honest about her profiles?

I think many switches are able to still be in a monogamous relationship in only one role is that is what they want. Is that your concern? Or are you concerned she will try to get you to be in the other role? Have you openly talked to her about your concerns?




nscdevoted1 -> RE: Domme that maybe sub? (5/25/2010 12:50:45 AM)

Am concerned that she'll have an overwhelming need that I cannot meet.  And then the relationship will die because we didn't discuss the issue fully before becoming a couple.



laurell3 -> RE: Domme that maybe sub? (5/25/2010 12:53:40 AM)

Well discuss it with her openly including your fears. We don't know her, so it's difficult to really give much advice

I can't assume what she is like, but I can tell you that it's not necessarily the case that all switches have to have it all. It's like being bisexual...you can have a relationship with one gender only and not necessarily need to have the other.



ReginaMirus -> RE: Domme that maybe sub? (5/25/2010 11:40:52 AM)

This question is way too vague to even begin to remotely answer. Can you throw us a bone, here? What things are you talking about?



nscdevoted1 -> RE: Domme that maybe sub? (5/25/2010 2:40:39 PM)

She never mentioned her other profiles which specifically state that sub men are a turn off and that she really likes to get used hard.  When I accidentally found the first and then the second sub profile, she seemed pretty defensive about them.  We've never met but she seems like an absolutely fascinating woman.  I've stated the concern already, was just hoping that there are others who can share their experiences with this type of person.  She detests the term "switch" but I'm sure how else to describe.



laurell3 -> RE: Domme that maybe sub? (5/25/2010 2:57:11 PM)

Liar is a good one......not something I would continue to deal with personally.

Good luck!



youngandjaded1 -> RE: Domme that maybe sub? (5/25/2010 3:22:34 PM)

think about it....if she has multiple, separate profiles that contradict one another, then at best shes a game player. At worst, she's bipolar or has multiple personality disorder. I wouldn't pursue a relationship with this person.



nscdevoted1 -> RE: Domme that maybe sub? (5/25/2010 7:26:07 PM)

Thank you both for the comments, both worthy of serious consideration.  I may have too blinded by my admiration for this woman to see the forest for the trees.



laurell3 -> RE: Domme that maybe sub? (5/25/2010 7:27:44 PM)

We could still be wrong of course. We don't know her. However, lies to start a relationship that flourishes on trust isn't really something I would personally take a risk on.



hereyesruponyou -> RE: Domme that maybe sub? (5/27/2010 5:56:54 PM)

Maybe she is not sure what she is... It is very difficult to have conflicting feelings. I started out sub because I thought I wanted to be able to just let go. But over time I slowly discovered that I am a Domme who likes to bottom at times. I can be a pain slut and love the bite of a rope on my skin, but I need to be the one directing the action. This seemed super contradictory to me when i was in my discovery phase, but I am comfortable with it now. I do know that not everyone I may encounter will feel the same way. Many subs cannot handle even seeing their dominant partner on the receiving end, much less be able to participate in it. Because of this, I would never get involved with someone without setting boundaries that outlined what we both want and need.

I am lucky to have a partner now who is flexible enough to give me what i need even when it's from someone else. You need to definately talk to her and look at yourself to determine what you are able to do. Try not to promise something you are not comfortable with, it probably won't work. On the other hand there are so many things what were on my Never list even just 4 years ago that are now no big deal to me... Good luck!



MsSupplice -> RE: Domme that maybe sub? (6/2/2010 10:34:31 PM)

I have to agree with hereyesruponyou in part. I was like that for a long time but loss of control is something that sends me into a frenzy and not in a good way. This woman does seem to have some issues especially if she's defensive about the other profiles. Usually that's a sign of knowingly doing wrong. I wouldn't bother but then again I'm not a patient kind of woman. Talk to her further, try to be a understanding as is reasonable but if it smells like poop honey, it usually is.



nscdevoted1 -> RE: Domme that maybe sub? (7/4/2010 10:35:18 PM)

Thank you to all who have posted. As a finality, those who warned against and cautioned were 100% accurate, she's either a player or a sociopath. Thank you again for the warnings.



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