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marieToo -> RE: naive newbie question (batting my eyelashes) (6/11/2006 6:30:14 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress
I am sorry johnny if I made inaccurate assumptions, I was a bit snippy that day, I did not wish to take it out on you. I had also written to you two other times with a longer more compassionate response and they both got deleted as I hit send...ugh.
I do understand that it is hard to find a fulfilling d/s relationship is difficult, especially when you have nothing to offer the other person, you may, as you say never find it and I know that sucks.
My point beneath all the snarkyness was more along the lines of, your wife may have given you permission but does she, or you for that matter, have any idea of the Pandora's box you are opening? you will be naked, your genitals fondled and tortured, you will be serving another woman, and you will begin to feel the deepest emotional pull toward her because of the way this energy exchange works
When it is really working it is give and take, the energy is heady and intoxicating, you will find yourself wanting to give more and more to your dominant, she will want to take more and more from you. I dont think your wife really understands this, because if she did unless she is poly, I cant imagine that she would be ok knowing your head and cock is thinking of another, and you may think you can draw a line, and maybe you can for a while, but ultimately this thing is all consuming, and in fact has to be to fulfill the aching part of you that wants it.
Do you ski? you started out safe enough on a bunny hill, but as you grew you needed more, going on a bunny hill now is boring, you want the challenge the exhilaration ect of plummeting down the mountain , wind in your hair, trees whooshing by you the fear and joy mixed into the most intoxicating cocktail....
D/s too is a mental ski slope, and I am a little worried about the loving lovely lady waiting at the bottom of the hill with hot coco, who suddenly realizes that she cant be what you need and then starts to pull away....
And I am a little worried about the Domme you do find to play with who is skiing quite joyfully by your side who then looks up to find she is skiing all by herself you are on the lift home...that is why I thought your actions were a little selfish...but I really am sorry for projecting the painful experiences I have had at the hands of self centered men onto you.
I do have some advice, pay for some one....and not only that but figure out what level your wife is willing to support you in this and dont let her retreat to the shadows. You love her and she you, that is waaaaaaaaay to rare and special to open this Pandora's box, a box that once opened changes people and the people who love them forever.
Wow. Great analogies and very sound advice.
To the OP: I can attest to this type of emotional attachment that can sneak up on you, that crouchingtigress speaks of. My first Ds relationship was mostly a physical one. Boy o boy, I thought I had a handle on it. Until the very NSA-Minded Dom decided he was done with me. I hadn't a clue how attached emotionally I had become to him. The end was abrupt and I was like a fish out of water...No one to answer to, no more control in my life. Long story, but it took me about 2 years before I was fully recovered. I know that sounds extreme, but I was in over my head as a newbie at the time, and the experience left me devestated. From that relationship, I learned, in the hardest possible way, that I am not capable of submission without becoming emotionally involved. And like you, I thought I had a pretty good handle on it. Im not saying this will be the case with you, but please heed this lady's advice and tread carefully. [:)]
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