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Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 12:13:14 PM   
skullcandy


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/25/2010
Status: offline 		Hey there! I'm pretty new to being a domme although I do have a submissive guy. I do enjoy being dominant and have a few ideas but Im worried about running out of new ideas and it becoming a bit repetitive. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas they could share with me.
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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 12:23:34 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Why would you run out of ideas?  You're just starting and probably haven't even put the ideas that you already have into practice.  From those ideas spur other ideas.  Places where you read things related to BDSM will give you ideas.  If you're interested in watching other people play, that will give you ideas.  Reading published material will give you ideas.  Seeing something in a movie will give you ideas.......

Personal quirk of Mine.  I really don't understand people who run out of ideas. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to skullcandy)
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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 12:32:01 PM   
ReginaMirus


Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		Sounds like you're doing way more work than you need to.

IDEAS:

Figure out what YOU would like from the perfect man in your life. Seriously. Make a list. What would he be like? What would he do? What would you EXPECT him to do? How can he SERVE you in ways that may not benefit him, but will benefit you greatly?

If he's submissive, then he will WANT to serve you and make you happy. That should be first and foremost, above all other things. If that's not met, then he should get nothing in return. If you're stuck with a sub that expects you to do all the work and indulge his every fantasy every time, then I can assure you that you'll burn out very quickly. You will have a very difficult time trying to keep up with a fantasy riddled male subby brain. Take it from one that's been there, done that. It's a losing battle.

Make him MAKE you a happy camper, and play by YOUR rules, on YOUR terms. Once he's satisfied you to the nth degree, then you can indulge him, but only on YOUR time, and only when you feel like it.

Yes, it is about the both of you, but it's about YOU, first and foremost. Good luck!

(in reply to skullcandy)
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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 1:11:05 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		I used to worry about running out of ideas. Don't. You'd be amazed at how quickly this stuff spirals.

Your sub's reactions will inspire you. You'll do something and they'll flinch and you'll think 'well what if I do this?....and this?...and this?...'

Stuff you read here (if you stick around) will inspire you-from tiny offhand comments that spark something in your brain to full-on threads with people saying 'I did x,y,z...'

Going to demos can give you *loads* of ideas-again, sometimes it's the tiny little things the people in question can take for granted.

Some of the play parties I've been to have felt like an endless round of flogging followed by caning followed by flogging, but sometimes you just see something that blows your mind and you just think 'wow, I gotta get me some of THAT '

Walk round a pound shop (not sure what the american equivalent is? My brain is saying dime store but I'm not positive...). Look at everything you can see and think 'how could I use that?'. If you find yourself smiling or laughing evilly inside, or even just vaguely intrigued, buy it-it cost you a pound, if the idea falls flat it's not the end of the world.

Seriously, don't worry about ideas-having the ideas is the easy part

Edited because apparently I don't know the difference between an apostrophe and a bracket.

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 5/25/2010 1:13:14 PM >

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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 1:21:01 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Cultural exchange time.

VC, we call that the Dollar Store.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 1:25:21 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Thanks, LP 

I suppose I ought to have known that...


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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 2:29:15 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		The ONLY time I "run out of ideas" is when I am so freakin bored with my playmate that flogging becomes a chore.

At which time, I find another playmate.

As a Before The Interwebs type, I read a LOT of smut. Now, we know that most smut is utter bollocks, not translatable into real life, but it can be a great jumping off point for new possibilities. Don't limit yourself--it's amazingly easy to say Oh, I would never do that!

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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 2:46:17 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Thanks, LP 

I suppose I ought to have known that...



You did better than me, VC. I didn't even know they had *stores* in the USA.

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 5/25/2010 2:52:02 PM >

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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 2:51:22 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Skullcandy,

The list of interests, which is on your profile and waiting to be ticked, is a good source of ideas. I know that there were a fair few terms on it that I'd never heard of before I came to this site. I did extensive googling to find out what a good few of them meant.

Another excellent little trick - which, in itself is a D/s fun-thing-to-do - is to set your sub an essay. Get him to write down what turns him on, and why. Or, make it simpler and put together a questionnaire. From this, you might well get lots of ideas.

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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 3:06:21 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Watch old cartoons.  Seriously.
 
The superhero kind are best, but the Coyote and Roadrunner, and some of the Bugs Bunny ones work too.  Those guys are always getting tied up, put in predicaments, spanked, etc.  You won't be able to tie your sub to an Acme rocket or a conveyer belt creeping toward the Firey Furnace of Doom, but it will spark ideas. 

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to PeonForHer)
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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 3:11:54 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		. . . As Sylvere demonstrates, a good snort of cocaine is helpful for coming up with creative D/s ideas, too.

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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 3:23:33 PM   
Ladynslave


Posts: 376
Joined: 7/30/2009
Status: offline 		When I was first starting, I thought I was starting to run out of ideas as well.  A few reads on Literotica.com and this forum were great inspirations.  The questionaire that Peon suggests were very helpful as well.  My slave found 2 that we filled out.  He found them on Pro-Domme websites but doesn't remember which ones so I can't give you a link.  Long talks with your sub and honest discussion about where you would like this to go as you progress is most helpful, though with my slave it was like pulling teeth until the questionaires.   LOL!  Now I can walk around a dollar store, Walmart, home improvement stores and get ideas on what the most off the wall things can be used for or to make something truely wicked.  Just last night I was teasing him with buying him a pair of little pink ankle socks with bows.  Didn't buy them as he wears boots and that would cause unbelievable blisters but the look on his face was priceless.

Some of my favorite things:
He does the cooking.
He does the dishes.
He does the cleaning.
He Googled home-made bath products and now makes me a new one each week and keeps me stocked on my favorites.
He wears panties when he is dressed as a constant reminder that he is mine.  For a treat he gets to wear a pair that I wore the day before.
He also wears collars that I design.
He lays out my clothes.
He does the laundry and puts it away.  I still fold as I can't stand the way he does it.  LOL!
When I need a particularly difficult to find part for one of my collars, he does the research to find it.
He serves in so many little ways, making and pouring my coffee, putting my clothes in the laundry as I take them off, running to the store for a last-minute items, there are simply too many things to list.

I hope some of this helps.


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Women and cats will do what they please. Men and dogs need to relax and get used to the idea.

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 3:31:09 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

. . . As Sylvere demonstrates, a good snort of cocaine is helpful for coming up with creative D/s ideas, too.


 

I see someone lacks the creativity to understand:

Predicament bondage
Role-playing
Interrogation scenes
Pervertables
 
It's sad when someone is so under-educated.  Brings a tear to my eye.  Really.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to PeonForHer)
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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 3:42:18 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		What are you talking about, Sylvere? I'm *totally* educated on the creative powers of the finest stimulants - as well as the finest of Warner Bros cartoons.

However, I have to say: I think Tom and Jerry trumps Bugs Bunny, any day. The Fred Quimby ones, especially, are a veritable mine of resources for all aspiring dominas.

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http://www.domme-chronicles.com


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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 3:58:22 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		The only stimulant I need is coffee. 
 
My personal favorites are the superhero shows.  C'mon, you can't tell me you didn't get a woody when Catwoman or Poison Ivy had Batman and Robin tied up and ready for torture.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 4:06:47 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		One of my personal favourites is: Predicament Bondage for the Wickedly Inclined

There was also another thread in which another couple new to D/s asked some similar questions. It was entitled What to do now?

You'll get many who will recommend that you get out and go to a munch or a demo and that is very good advice. However, I personally don't like them at all and I have managed to learn a lot from reading, playing with people I trusted and from soul searching.

You said you have books. Are they technical books or erotica? If you've read too much technical stuff it might feel too mechanical and erotica might get your imagination going. If you've read erotica, you might want to balance it out with some practical technical books.

Also, you can read FemDom blogs or Websites. These are brought to you by real life Dominas:

  • I like AkashaWeb (http://www.akashaweb.com/) a lot. Akasha also posts on these forums and her and I were practically seperated at birth so what she writes really speaks to me.

  • As well, there is the Femmedomme Society of Canada (http://www.femdommesociety.ca/) which is run by HeadMistress Jade Dragon who I have met personally here in Montreal.

  • Again, there is Midori's Website (http://www.fhp-inc.com/), another clever woman who I've also met and learned a few predicament bondage tricks from.

Hope this helps.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 5/25/2010 4:07:04 PM >

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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 4:23:13 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

The only stimulant I need is coffee. 
 
My personal favorites are the superhero shows.  C'mon, you can't tell me you didn't get a woody when Catwoman or Poison Ivy had Batman and Robin tied up and ready for torture.


*Cackle* Batman cast evil blackness over my childhood soul, Sylvere. Catwoman did it for me, totally. It was the purring, and the nails in the back slicing in my - er, Batman's - back. No comparison.

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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 4:27:48 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Yeah, Catwoman did it for me too.  Except I wanted to *be* her when I grew up.  Say it with me...Julie Newmar is a goddess. 

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 4:44:45 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Yeah, Catwoman did it for me too.  Except I wanted to *be* her when I grew up.  Say it with me...Julie Newmar is a goddess. 


I've just googled Julie Newmar . . . . Really odd. I don't remember her at all, though she's ultra-sexy and, I think, she post-dated Eartha Kitt, who's utterly etched on my memory.

Anyway, that's enough of this banter. The thread's become interesting and friendly - which is usually a good sign that it's gone off-topic. OP: what will make life interesting to you, as a dominant, is your ability to plumb your depths of *selfishness*. For my money, the first thing a new dominant has to learn is how to be selfish. Get to grips with that, and everything else will follow. You will never run out of ideas, once you've found that particular well.



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RE: Need some ideas - 5/25/2010 4:46:26 PM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Isn't there a book out there .. 365 things to do to a sub

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