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sub or not - 5/26/2010 5:42:25 AM   
sissywolfe


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/24/2010
Status: offline 		Thank You for hearing me. For the past 5 years I have beenin a relationship. We are not in the lifestyle. But I have yearned to serve and submit. I am a open young male. Is it wrong of me to want a mistress to serve? I am emotionally attached to my partner, but it doesn't feel right to me. Advice please.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: sub or not - 5/26/2010 5:48:52 AM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		Have you spoken to your partner about your needs? Perhaps there can be some compromise that is agreeable to you both? They may even surprise you and be all you wish for.

(in reply to sissywolfe)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: sub or not - 5/26/2010 5:57:49 AM   
sissywolfe


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/24/2010
Status: offline 		I have spoken to him. He doesn't want to be part of this lifestyle. It doesn't even appeal to him. Nor a woman to him. But I am very submissive and a bit of a slutty boy. So... he doesn't want that. He wants a vanilla relationship. Allow me to ask a question. Is it wrong of me to think about splitting up for the sake of persuing a urge to serve? Is that being to selfish for a sub to want?

< Message edited by sissywolfe -- 5/26/2010 6:24:35 AM >

(in reply to GraciousLady)
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RE: sub or not - 5/26/2010 6:32:37 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Incompatibility is just that.  It means that two people are not compatible in a certain area. 

If you were absolutely certain that you wanted a big family with lots of children, and your partner didn't want any, you'd have to look at that and decide which was more important to you.  It's pretty much the same thing.

It might be in your best interest to do some talking with your partner to find out if a compromise could be reached. 


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 5/26/2010 6:33:45 AM >

_____________________________

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to sissywolfe)
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RE: sub or not - 5/26/2010 7:21:19 AM   
sissywolfe


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/24/2010
Status: offline 		There has been a talk in the past. And some compromise has been made but I seek more. Is that still wrong. I just don't want to ruin a good thing.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: sub or not - 5/26/2010 7:26:09 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		If your partner is already trying to meet you part-way, then you need to be willing to meet him part-way as well. You're going to have to decide to either give up on some of your desires that he isn't interested in, or leave him to find someone who is interested in the same things.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to sissywolfe)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: sub or not - 5/26/2010 7:49:28 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sissywolfe

There has been a talk in the past. And some compromise has been made but I seek more. Is that still wrong. I just don't want to ruin a good thing.



What LadyPact said.

And this:


How "good" is it really, if you "yearn" to "ruin" it?

Apparently not good enough.


You've got one life. Don't waste your youth trying to be something you're not. If your partner is vanilla and you're not, you've got a very basic, fundamental incompatibility. Deal with it, or leave it. You have a choice to make. What's more important? Being yourself, or being with someone who really can't/won't address your needs and desires?

And what about him? Doesn't he deserve to be with someone more compatible, in the long term? If you really care about him, and about yourself:

Sometimes love means letting go.

_____________________________

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(in reply to sissywolfe)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: sub or not - 5/26/2010 8:31:51 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sissywolfe

And some compromise has been made but I seek more. Is that still wrong. I just don't want to ruin a good thing.


Well how good can it be, if you seek more?

Don't be so hard on yourself.  Human emotions and desires are often illogical.  We like what we like, and we desire what we desire.  It's as simple as that. 

If you don't like what you currently have, or if you desire something else, go find what it is that you DO like and DO desire.  Life is too short to waste on a partner who really isn't meeting your needs.  But first, make sure you understand what it is that you TRULY desire before you release the bird in the hand.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 5/26/2010 8:32:58 AM >

(in reply to sissywolfe)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: sub or not - 5/26/2010 8:56:19 AM   
sissywolfe


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/24/2010
Status: offline 		Thank You all for helping me. i have tough decision infront of me. If i have further questions ill be back. May i count on You?

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: sub or not - 5/26/2010 9:18:49 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		We can't live your life for you. Really, all we can do is point out the obvious, based on what you tell us.

TALK to your partner. It is possible that you can have a relationship with your partner AND with a Mistress if everyone is open and above board.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to sissywolfe)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: sub or not - 5/26/2010 9:23:30 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sissywolfe

Thank You all for helping me. i have tough decision infront of me. If i have further questions ill be back. May i count on You?

Anonymous advice is rarely a good source for life-altering decisions.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to sissywolfe)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: sub or not - 5/26/2010 10:14:52 AM   
sissywolfe


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/24/2010
Status: offline 		Too true redmagic. Again thank you all for the at least for reconfirming what my head has thought. Now just for my heart and head to communicate.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 12
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