awkward situation

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slava -> awkward situation (5/28/2010 2:56:51 AM)
Master and i are seeking play partners, no strings, or if things work out, maybe more serious, and all the better. Master allows me to be proactive, and to contact others. Recently, Master contacted this girl here and she accepted to chat with us to see if there is a fit. First night, we all chat together, however, when Master had to leave, she left also. I was hoping to talk to her, and get to know each other. The next few days, id see her online and tried to talk to her, no reply. Finally after 3 tries, i told her if she wasnt interested, to just say so. She finally replied and said she has no time for sensitive ppl, and was sorry about my sensitivity. I told her it was just respectful if she would at least answer. Nonetheless, we chatted after, and got to know each other better (although she didnt ask me any questions about us, it was me asking all the questions). We left it off as we would chat again soon, she even said to IM her when i see her online. fast forward 4-5 days, i dont see her online at all. I find out thru this site, that she has me blocked or deleted.. which is fine. Now yesterday, Master informs me that he chatted with her, which totally surprised me, cos she didnt block him. fine. but whats even surprising, is she's willing to meet us this weekend. Before anyone calls me insecure or paranoid, cos im not, i just wanted to know how another slave/sub, would feel if a potential female sub would join them, but didnt want any contact with you? it just makes me feel awkward, and really uncomfortable especially if im going to have to play with her, get intimate, etc etc. i spoke to my Master about it, and He is not saying much about it. i do trust my Master, however, i cant help but feel like she's not really interested in me, especially due to the fact that she is seeking a Master or Dom/Domme couple but was willing to chat with us, which is now just Him.

WestBaySlave -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 3:30:01 AM)
Going on this post, I think your suspicions are probably correct - she's into him; not into you. She wants a dom; you're a sub, and she isn't interested in being intimate with you for that, or possibly other reasons. I can't speak for what your relationship dynamic is like, but if your master wants to be involved with her and you don't, have you thought of asking your master if you can play separately or be excused from that evening's entertainment?

noor -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 3:34:05 AM)
have to agree with westbayslave - sounds like she's into him, not you. you have to decide how you feel about that and what, if anything, you want to do about it. i personally would not be interested in playing with someone else who didn't want to be with both of us - that's very important to me. my master knows that and would not involve someone else if they weren't willing to accept the whole package. so i would feel miffed, but we'd both move on if something like this happened (to answer your question).

slava -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 3:46:16 AM)
Master said over and over that ideally He wants me to find a playmate for myself and for the occasional play with Him when He is available, since we are in a L/D relationship. Master is looking for girl on girl play, this is why its bothering me, cos i know he will expect us to get intimate, and to like each other, but the way this is going, its not a good start. thank you both for yr replies.

noor -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 3:48:59 AM)
in that case i would definitely recommend talking to him - in open, honest, and very direct terms - about your concerns. it is much healthier to wait for a third you are both comfortable with, especially if she's not interested in you and this is the situation, than to get involved with her because the two of them are comfortable and end up in a negative situation yourself. i wish you luck!

DesFIP -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 4:23:53 AM)
Since she's blocked you, it's obvious she doesn't like you and doesn't want to. So if this is really what he wants, then there is no reason to continue with her. If he does continue with her, then it's obvious he's decided he doesn't care if you have a playmate, that he's fine with just him having a second sub. However since you don't know her, I will recommend locking up any valuables before she comes over.

thishereboi -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 6:14:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slava Master said over and over that ideally He wants me to find a playmate for myself and for the occasional play with Him when He is available, since we are in a L/D relationship. Master is looking for girl on girl play, this is why its bothering me, cos i know he will expect us to get intimate, and to like each other, but the way this is going, its not a good start. thank you both for yr replies. If this is going to be a partner for you to play with, then it is important that the two of you get along. From what you have said, it sounds like she is into him, but not you. If it were me, I would start looking again.

bluefireeyez -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 7:23:07 AM)
Ditto to everything said here. You do not need to feel ackward with this person and your Master should understand your concerns. If she had blocked me, I would simply explain to my Master why I thought it was a bad start. Knowing myself, if he pushed it I would also end up frustrated with him.

sirsholly -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 7:27:39 AM)
quote: Master said over and over that ideally He wants me to find a playmate for myself and for the occasional play with Him when He is available, since we are in a L/D relationship. Your input needs to be heard and respected by your Master. If your opinions are dismissed, i would say there is a serious issue between you and he.

SimplyMichael -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 7:49:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slava Master said over and over that ideally He wants me to find a playmate for myself and for the occasional play with Him when He is available, since we are in a L/D relationship. Master is looking for girl on girl play, this is why its bothering me, cos i know he will expect us to get intimate, and to like each other, but the way this is going, its not a good start. thank you both for yr replies. Master is dumb enugh to fall for her bullshit, she is either hotter or more available than yu and his little brain is doing the thinking for him. You are right on in your suspicions of her but need to wake up about him.

xXsoumisXx -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 8:11:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: ORIGINAL: slava Master said over and over that ideally He wants me to find a playmate for myself and for the occasional play with Him when He is available, since we are in a L/D relationship. Master is looking for girl on girl play, this is why its bothering me, cos i know he will expect us to get intimate, and to like each other, but the way this is going, its not a good start. thank you both for yr replies. Master is dumb enugh to fall for her bullshit, she is either hotter or more available than yu and his little brain is doing the thinking for him. You are right on in your suspicions of her but need to wake up about him. Exactly.

tazzygirl -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 8:19:52 AM)
It has been my personal experince that there are submissives/slaves who feel they are better for a man than the one he currently has. What may be happening is that she is playing you two against each other, hoping for that "break" that happens when one partner is excluded. I recall a conversation i saw with my then Master and a girl he was thinking of brinnging on board. She and i had been close, as close as on line allows, for many years. We shared everything... until there was a man involved. She didnt block me... but what i saw caused me all kinds of concerns. I even pointed out the conversations he had with her in the past, so he allowed me to watch their on line interaction. At one point, they were discussing children and their plans for the future. It was all about their two children playing and growing up together, about the kind of house she wanted with him, ect. He finally stopped her when i pointed out "Master, why is she speaking like it will only be the two of you?" He paused and said... "I didnt see it that way, but, your right". So he asked her about my place in her little scenario. Her reply " Im working on that". I lived with him, but she was working on bringing me into the scenario? Seems to me she was working on getting me out of his life. Her plan didnt work. But another's did. And im far better off. The point of this story is to help you see that not every girl you contact will want to be part of the family. There are ulterior motives. IF this is to work, all conversation should be open between the three of you. blocking people, hiding conversations, ect, all are deep signs of problems. Discussing this with your Master is the only step you can take. But, be open with all concerned. Once the visit materialize.. IF it does... then all will be obvious and your Master will have to make decisions. Im sure the one he will have to make is which one he will keep.

lucylucy -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 8:45:50 AM)
Everyone else has done a great job of pointing out the problems in this scenario. I'll second tazzygirl's observation that there are women who feel they are better for a man than the one he currently has, and the girl in your scenario, slava, seems to have no interest in being in a relationship with you. Like tazzygirl, I had an experience with a "threesome" relationship . . . the other woman used the excuse of being "intimidated" by me for not getting to know me better and after a few months she gave Master an ultimatum along the lines of "it's her or me." To her surprise, he chose me and the ultimatum made her motives perfectly clear to him. Masters are human and they have moments of thinking with their cocks. In those situations, I think subs/slaves have to find respectful ways of voicing our concerns, but we have to be very careful to NOT try to control the outcome. Good luck, slava.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 9:55:41 AM)
quote: she's into him; not into you. She wants a dom; you're a sub, and she isn't interested in being intimate with you for that, or possibly other reasons. Exactly. I do not know why people keep being confused by a sub female into men get into the MALE DOM in the relationship first and foremost. I do not know why the first fem sub keeps being confused why other women don't want the position SHE herself doesn't want? The males are so busy chasing more pussy they don't pay attention to the actual dynamics going on. There's a reason these chicks are called UNICORNS and it's not because they have silver hair and only touch virgins.

slava -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 11:57:30 AM)
Well nice to read all these different replies, its helped me out with my feelings. my Master is far from dumb. this morning He told me we are not meeting after all. He didnt give me details why, i didnt bother asking. He just said not to worry, after i voiced my concern again this morning. i did ask to say one final thing, that if we did end up meeting, i would have like to clarify why she blocked me, and if she has something against me. and not 100% sure if what my Master offered didnt please her, or if she just didnt reply, ignored him.. i already had a bad reputation with Master for having a short fuse in the past, ive learnt to control my temper, but it brought me back to that time, making me feel guilty for telling her to be straight forward when she ignored the first few times online which made me wonder if that was the reason why she blocked me.. But she knows we are a couple, and its just weird to say yes to the Master, when you dont wanna talk to the Master's slave, especially when Master mentionned to her i would be alpha slave in the dynamics.. thank you all for yr support... :)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 12:17:38 PM)
quote: i would have like to clarify why she blocked me, and if she has something against me. Because you are too sensitive and take things too personally and need head patting too much. quote: But she knows we are a couple, and its just weird to say yes to the Master, when you dont wanna talk to the Master's slave, especially when Master mentionned to her i would be alpha slave in the dynamics.. It's not weird, it's completely normal and expected. It sounds like "alpha" in this means "She was here first and I need to make sure she feels secure so she'll fuck you so I'll give her a cool title, but she won't actually have any authority or responsibilities and doesn't really know how to lead and inspire at all." Also very normal and common.

barelynangel -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 1:52:08 PM)
You said in your OP that some of this will be no strings attached. So maybe she was attracted to your master and didn't want the "feel the love" concept with you, and figured to get the man she can do the no-strings attached concept with you during a play thing. I mean if you are going to have a no-strings concept maybe you should not try and put strings on the women who yes -- may actually be willing to play with you but their interest lies in him and that is where the focus and you are secondary and not all that important. If its more then worry about whether or not she likes you. She doesn't have to be all lovey dovy with you to fuck you nor does she necessarily have to know you or "like" you in a friendship type way -- does she? You may simply be a tool and as a couple she is more focused on the guy. It doesn't mean she necessarily wants to take him away from you but her attraction is him for the time you guys play. I think you need to decide whether you are ready for no strings attached which very much may make you secondary and not the primary reason someone agrees to play with you. Maybe they want his attention and you simply are part of the parcel but not the most important focus for them and they don't want to become friends or more with you guys. Not sure if this makes sense, but that's what i am guessing could have happened. Or she could have felt your insecurity and seriously because she felt it was no strings didn't appreciate you hounding her to talk to her. Maybe that is why she talked to him and set up a meeting of ALL of you through him. You have to realize that for some women, the attraction will be the man and HIS attention during the time you are together, she may fuck you for him but you may not be the person she is focused on -- especially if she is submissive. angel

UniqueRaven -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 2:51:18 PM)
As women, we sometimes actually focus on a situation to where we actually manifest and create that which we're most afraid of. As tazzygirl and lucylucy both pointed out, yes, there are girls out there who want to split up a relationship in order to have the Dom for herself - because she thinks she's a better choice, or she just likes him a lot, or just because she's kind of clueless and focused only on her own submission. And sometimes the Dom isn't thinking about anything other than his fantasy of the two girls - and doesn't see the forest for the trees. But, it's the matter of how you handle the situation that makes the difference. Going to your Master with a heart full of fear and voicing all these concerns about the "other girl" really does nothing but show how insecure you are. And sometimes, Doms being Doms, you will actually cause him to push even more towards bringing in this other girl - because now he doesn't want to give in just because his slave said so. And then somehow you wind up on the descending side of the see saw - with her ascending, which isn't what you wanted at all - but you created the situation through your response to it. This is what i mean by how sometimes we manifest the very things we fear - because we're focused on the fear, not the Master. My viewpoint is this - if my Owner wants to bring in another girl, i do everything to help him, and to serve her as well - even though i'm not bi, nor am i poly (my heart only loves one). If she's catty or bitchy, i let her behavior speak for itself. He will see it, sooner or later - you don't have to say a word. Instead, i show through my behavior the standard and value i hold as a slave - without pointing it out to him either. People will see more if you just be what you are, instead of telling them what you are - they just know, if that makes sense. So then my Master gets to have his fantasy and say wow, that was great, and i have this awesome slave serving me that made it all go so well, i'm so happy that she's mine. Being a slave isn't easy - it's very hard at times, and the hardest thing is putting your "self" aside at moments when your Master's pleasure comes first. Yes, i'll probably get some flack for this, but it's just how it is. You have to put on your big girl panties, suck it up, and serve him - because that is what you signed up to do when you became his slave. And if he releases you for another submissive because he decides that he likes her more after a casual fling - well, then you have your answer about what his real intentions are, and if your service is of such little value to him, then why would you be trying to force him to accept it? Being a slave isn't about the slave - it's about the Owner. A slave's job is to just be - and by being, you will be what he wants. i hope this helps for the future - big hugs to you! [;)]

Focus50 -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 3:12:30 PM)
OP, two things jump out (to me) about your posts.... 1. The obvious - she's not interested in you. 2. Without knowing what the three of you have discussed, it's also quite obvious your "Master" isn't that interested in you, either. And I'll bet dollars to dirt she's picking up on that vibe, too. slava, I think you've got a big surprise coming - and not the good kind.... Maybe concerning this woman and maybe not but certainly affecting your relationship. Time to "wake up and smell the roses"? Focus.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: awkward situation (5/28/2010 3:15:11 PM)
quote: Being a slave isn't easy - it's very hard at times, and the hardest thing is putting your "self" aside at moments when your Master's pleasure comes first. Yes, i'll probably get some flack for this, but it's just how it is. You have to put on your big girl panties, suck it up, and serve him - because that is what you signed up to do when you became his slave. if he releases you for another submissive because he decides that he likes her more after a casual fling - well, then you have your answer about what his real intentions are, and if your service is of such little value to him, then why would you be trying to force him to accept it? I completely agree. An outside force CANNOT break a relationship unless the ones involved choose for it. quote: Being a slave isn't about the slave - it's about the Owner. This I disagree with. Being a slave is about truth of SELF, it just so happens that the truth comes from a dynamic in which the master/owner has ultimate authority in all things.

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