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tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 12:37:38 AM   
uncollaredslave9


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/28/2010
Status: offline 		hi im new to the site and the lifestyle i was just wondering if someone could give me tips the proper way to answer or send messages from a mistress without sounding coy?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 1:01:04 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Go to the Mistress forum and read the many answers to similar questions.  Also read the "Ask a Mistress FAQ-Read This First" thread.  

(in reply to uncollaredslave9)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 1:03:45 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		read her profile.  address specific things IN the profile.  DO NOT email her with lists of what YOU want, rather, tell her about YOURSELF and let her know what YOU can do for HER.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to uncollaredslave9)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 1:17:19 AM   
LadySweetOrSour


Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline 		Address her by her user name, if not instructed otherwise in her profile. I LOATH "Dear Goddess" emails.

Never, ever use text speak. It's a guaranteed trip to the bin.

Remember she is a human being who is also a dominant. She's not just a dominant. Be polite and respectful, as you would be to anyone you met, either online or face to face.


(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 3:48:54 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Try just being *you*. Your true self and not some simpering suck-up too many male subs think is an appealing quality in a human adult.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to LadySweetOrSour)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 4:04:00 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Try just being *you*.

This. Although perhaps try being you but with better grammar. If you write to women in the way you have posted here then it looks as though you don't value them enough to waste your full stops or commas on.

You know that *all* the text is free here, right? That includes punctuation and capital letters...


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 5:49:38 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		OP, here's your profile text:



hi im not giving much about me until i feel i can trust who i talk to and im looking for a mistress from 18 to 29 exprince as a mistress would be prefered but not required i will do submission online to start out with and work my way into a relationship
First, clean up the spelling and grammar.  Sneaky hint - approach a Domme whose profile you like and ask her if she'd be willing to work with you to clean it up.  That'd be an approach she's not used to and it's give both of you a chance to interact and see what the other is like.  And I find the white text on red background annoying - why did you choose to do that?

Second, why say you're not giving out much about you until you can trust?  What confidence will be breached if you say you like fishing or dancing?  If a Domme is interested in you, you're making her spend extra time getting to know you, and most Dommes have their pick of men.

Thirds, the tone - "Experience is preferred but not required", and "I will do submission online to start off with" is way too high handed.  I'm not suggesting obsequiousness, but soften the tone to something like "I'd prefer experience but it's okay if you're new - I am!" and "I'm new and would like to ease myself in online to begin".

And keep in mind that many Dommes will not do online at all because they've met so many online wankers.

That said, welcome!


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 7:10:54 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I think diamonds and furs would be good.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 10:27:09 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		DS, you are a nasty MF. You just made me remember the times my Ma stood over me with a particularly painful cooking utensil making me do my homework :-)

But really thinking about it, if I found a nice cuddly sweet sub, I would not want someone with the backbone of a dishrag. No matter what happens in the bedroom I don't want to play thug and rug 24/7. Even in the teasing stage, with her properly secured, I would love to hear "you motherfucker". That tells me that there is a person there, and opens the door to a few more possibilities. Motherfucker eh ? Got kids ? So anyone who fucks you is by definition a motherfucker. Mwa ha ha ha ha.

Think of the possibilities. I want to see a bit of struggle, evaluate the true worth of all the chains and cuffs I bought with my hard earned money. Test them, I mean really test them.

Maybe all this BDSM crap is not really for me sometimes, because if I can just order someone to take a position and hold it until further notice, what's the use of chaining them up ? I would rather they struggle, and accept the fact that my chains could tow a mac truck. The hard way.

Yes, I really do think that eventually I am going to have to admit to some degree of insanity.

T

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 10:32:33 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Maybe all this BDSM crap is not really for me sometimes, because if I can just order someone to take a position and hold it until further notice, what's the use of chaining them up ? I would rather they struggle, and accept the fact that my chains could tow a mac truck. The hard way.


At the risk of raising the ire of the subbie mafia (read that with tongue in cheek girls ), a smart girl would find that part out about her Owner and use it to her advantage. Its a myth to believe that every slave (submissive) just wants to lay down and die, roll over and play dead, however you wish to phrase it.

Or maybe its just me, but i enjoy learning about a man, what makes him tick, what makes his cock twitch ( decided to edit to change this word), and using it to bring him more pleasure. If that requires me being sassy, then so be it.

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 5/31/2010 10:33:42 AM >

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 10:48:54 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Oh, I *so* want to know what that pre-edit verb was! :P

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 10:50:20 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		LOL

twist

but decided that was too preverted .. from the kneel part of the slash



_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 10:52:26 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Heehee!



Thankyou for not keeping it all mysterious (totally what I would have done-you're a better person than me!).


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 10:54:43 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		With the crowd that posts around these parts? Their attempts at trying to figure it out would have been more perverted than anything i could come up with... possibly.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 10:58:12 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		I doubt that-the human mind can reach heights of perversity that terrify me, and I'm willing to bet yours is no exception 

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 10:59:49 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Oh i dunno. Holly, Potty and DS scare me sometimes. I mean... meatloaf? How preverted can one get?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 11:14:21 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		taz, you obviously missed the tear gas thread.

T

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 11:15:56 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		lol Term. Im thinking i may be grateful for that!

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 2:25:42 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Me too...

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: tips on how to answer - 5/31/2010 3:47:12 PM   
uncollaredslave9


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/28/2010
Status: offline 		thank you every one for ur posts

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 20
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