What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile?

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What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 8:21:40 PM

ChainsNpains

Posts: 28
Joined: 5/7/2010
From: Oregon/New Mexico
Status: offline

I put a lot into my profile here on cm... maybe too much? Anyways I really would like to know what or if anything in specific a Domme/Mistress looks for in a profile when searching for a new sub/slave... I'm tired of being alone. So Anything at all that I might be able to do to improve my search is truly appreciated! Thank you all!

Post #: 1

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 8:32:17 PM

ReginaMirus

Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

Seems to be all about the sex for you. So what do you have to offer a potential domme in terms of actual SERVICE?

(in reply to ChainsNpains)

Post #: 2

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 8:37:30 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

What we look for is explained in detail here: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057123/tm.htm

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(in reply to ReginaMirus)

Post #: 3

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 8:49:44 PM

ChainsNpains

Posts: 28
Joined: 5/7/2010
From: Oregon/New Mexico
Status: offline

@ Regina Mirus It's definitely not all about the sex with me!! Have you read my profile? Please tell me what are my pros and cons in your opinion! I know I put a lot of information into it so what should I leave out?? I get what you mean on what do I have to offer as service... I should put in that I am obedient, honest, caring, etc...

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 4

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 8:52:42 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainsNpains
Have you read my profile?

Have you read the link SylvereApLeanan provided you? If not, how obedient could you possibly be?

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to ChainsNpains)

Post #: 5

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 9:09:00 PM

ChainsNpains

Posts: 28
Joined: 5/7/2010
From: Oregon/New Mexico
Status: offline

@ red magic1. Yes I have clicked and used the links provided by SylvereApLeanan. Which brings me to thanking you, SylvereApLeanan, for providing those links! I was still writing my second post before I saw SylvereApLeanan's post.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 6

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 9:40:43 PM

ReginaMirus

Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

I did, but I didn't much get past the 18-30 requirement, which immediately disqualifies me.

But, were I within your desired age group...

Typos are glaring, and not flattering. Can be indicative of attention to detail (or lack thereof).
You're not unique in your "huge imagination" department. Most guys have it. That's what made me think that you might be more of a bedroom submissive. Not that that's a bad thing, but keep in mind it may be a turn-off to experienced dommes looking for someone to actually SERVE them, first and foremost.

"Isn't looking for something 24/7 and considers a vanilla life together" sends mixed messages. I've no idea what this means.

Your thoughts seem to ramble, alot. You might want to consider condensing your thoughts and simplfying. "Looking for a fellow kinkster who's open to a variety of play" might suit you better, instead of spelling out all the specific scenarios rolling around in your head. Most dommes, when you come at them with an itemized list of the specific things you want to experience might summarily dismiss you as a "do-me boy".

No one wants to hear that you're ever inclined to tell them to "fuck off". Understood that you don't want to be seen as a doormat, but that one would instantly leave a bad taste in my mouth.

(in reply to ChainsNpains)

Post #: 7

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 10:04:52 PM

ChainsNpains

Posts: 28
Joined: 5/7/2010
From: Oregon/New Mexico
Status: offline

@ Regina Mirus. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! This is what I needed. I don't believe I had too many typos but everything else I agree on. The 24/7 thing I didn't explain well at all and I see how easily it could be read as a mixed message... When I wrote that it made sense to me but now that I read it from your prospective I see I did not explain correctly. I do ramble... it's a bad habit I have when I write profiles, don't ask me why. And I'll take out the fuck off thing too. Well I'm off to edit, edit, edit!!! Thanks again!

(in reply to ReginaMirus)

Post #: 8

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 10:21:30 PM

ReginaMirus

Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

No problem. Let me know when you're done, I'll have another looksee.

(in reply to ChainsNpains)

Post #: 9

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 10:21:38 PM

slavelynn95008

Posts: 35
Joined: 12/22/2007
Status: offline

I think you need to have the attitude of gratitude

(in reply to ChainsNpains)

Post #: 10

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 10:38:27 PM

ChainsNpains

Posts: 28
Joined: 5/7/2010
From: Oregon/New Mexico
Status: offline

@ Regina Mirus: My profile has been updated so you're welcome to take a look and input feedback again thank you. @ Slavelynn5008 I am very grateful for anything I get!! I appreciate what Regina Mirus is doing for me so much. One thing I can take from my early life is to not take anything for granted, and so I do try to have an attitude of gratitude! :)

(in reply to slavelynn95008)

Post #: 11

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 10:54:48 PM

ReginaMirus

Posts: 240
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I feel talking about my vanilla life in my profile is pointless.

Ok, this makes you also look like a "do-me boy", and not looking for anything really meaningful outside of kink. Better might be "we can discuss anything, vanilla or otherwise", or something like that. In fact, I don't think that line is really necessary at all, as the sentence below it could carry on it's own.

The word "fetishist" can also have do-me connotations. Kinkster is a little more general, and not quite so specialized.

The "pleasing" statements are much better. Encouraging further views to your journal is also a good thing, as it gives indication that you've really put some thought into writing which to me is an attractive quality.

"If I'm comfortable with you enough", ok, how about "when we're comfortable enough with each other"? The statement seems a little selfish to me.

Other than that, I think it's much improved.

(in reply to ChainsNpains)

Post #: 12

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 11:10:27 PM

ChainsNpains

Posts: 28
Joined: 5/7/2010
From: Oregon/New Mexico
Status: offline

You're right, Kinkster sounds a lot less about sex then fetishist. The More I read the word 'pointless' the more harsh it seems.. So I will omit that sentence. I also agree on the comfortable sentence. I am by all means not a selfish person whatsoever so I will definitely re-word that. I'm glad you think it's improved! And I again thank you for doing this. Yeah, I'm not big on writing although I have a poem that comes out of me from time to time.

(in reply to ReginaMirus)

Post #: 13

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 11:15:04 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I am the exception in the profile review bit. I don't want to read something that is novel length giving all kinds of details about a person's vanilla life. Then again, that has a lot to do with the fact that I'm not looking for a primary relationship. A few mentions about your hobbies and what you like to do in your spare time are sufficient in My case.

My interest here has everything to do with BDSM. That's the part that I focus on when I'm looking at a profile to see if there is any potential compatibility. I look for a few specific things:

How a person views service - No mention of it in a profile automatically disqualifies someone for Me.

Masochism - How do you access yourself about bottoming?

Public BDSM - If you can't go to a munch, event, or demo for whatever reason you have, I have absolutely no interest.

Experience/Education - I want to know if you've had prior dynamics. (Pros do NOT count and I usually don't have interest in those who are ex-clients.) If you have no experience, I definitely will be looking for signs that you have attempted to learn something about all this that is a greater investment than signing on to a kinky website. I'll be looking for non fiction books that you've read, if you belong to a munch group, or mention of events you've attended.

Special Interests - Are you ok with poly? Are you a leather person? What do you know/think about protocol? How pro-active are you about your goals in getting involved in BDSM?

There will be some folks to disagree with Me on these things. As I said, I am the minority.

_____________________________

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(in reply to ReginaMirus)

Post #: 14

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 5/31/2010 11:30:32 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Add Me to the minority! I do care about vanilla compatibility, but the kink match comes first.

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(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 15

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 6/1/2010 3:08:23 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Anyways I really would like to know what or if anything in specific a Domme/Mistress looks for in a profile when searching for a new sub/slave

Since we know everyone here is into kink, I look for things other than kink. I look for someone who shows a rich personality, a good sense of humour, intelligence, creativity and things in common with me outside of kink.

Essentially I look for someone I might be compatible with.

- LA

_____________________________

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(in reply to ChainsNpains)

Post #: 16

RE: What do Dommes/Mistresses look for on a profile? - 6/1/2010 3:45:51 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

I think it's useful to have one or two little things that they can talk to you about in a light-hearted way. That gives them something to say if they come across your profile and want to write to you but don't want to say much more than 'hello' in the first instance. But, overall - not that I'm any great expert, mind - I think your profile looks fine. Good luck!

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http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to ChainsNpains)

Post #: 17

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