RE: Slave mentality (Full Version)

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zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 2:12:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth
To expand on what the lovely Wyld says (smooches), not even slightly. I can only imagine what would happen if I told my Master I hadn't done something because I was "compelled" to listen to music instead. Let's just say I would not sit, walk, or stand comfortably for a very long time.



What I gleemed from the OP regarding music and things he immersed himself into, was that this were activities he choose to do over going out and socializing or interacting with other people. Basically, pent up time where he isolated himself in his room listening to music or reading. That in part, his social skills have suffered as a result of it some. That this may have something to do, with why he has weak boundaries when interacting with others in person, simply because he's not used to telling other people "no". When he does get the fuck out of the house or interact with people, he does not want to displease other people because he's trying to socialize and not want to loose what little interaction he does manage to achieve with others. (Mind you, I'm formulating my best educated guess deductions based upon information presented in the OP). In a nutshell, his coping skills for dealing with social or peer pressure are weak because he's been a music listening, book reading introvert held up in his room.


Odd, I could have sworn he said he was doing things like listening to music instead of getting things done that needed doing - not in the OP but elsewhere in the thread. I really can't be bothered to look but I'm sure of it.




lucylucy -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 4:08:29 PM)

Hi, osf! Nice to see you posting.

SN, I'm not going to bother explaining to you what is wrong with your reasoning. LadyPact and others have done a great job of that and I have nothing to add except to repeat what I've already told you in other threads: stop talking and listen.




sunshinemiss -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 5:04:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Oh fuck me...


If you insist.




zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 5:30:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Oh fuck me...


If you insist.



suhlut




sunshinemiss -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 5:35:29 PM)

... grrrrrr ...




Aynne88 -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 5:49:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

Actually, the more I read it, the more I am convinced that I have Addictive personality.
I finally got diagnosis. [;)]
But I never had so extreme addictions as those described in this article, and luckily I wasn't
addicted to destructive things.



Didn't read the rest of the posts yet, however...addicted to porn can be just as detrimental as addicted to drugs or anything else. I am addicted to reading Domiguy's posts. Is there a group for that? [;)].




SocratesNot -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 5:59:50 PM)

Maybe I wasn't really addicted to porn, since I could stop at any moment, but I had the habit to masturbate a little too much while indulging in various erotic fantasies online.
However, if I had some real life things to do which would force me to go away from computer, I could go for a week or two without any porn or erotic fantasy, but after that time, I'd go back to it.




littlewonder -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 6:40:36 PM)

You sound like and remind me of my daughter...

OCD and narcissistic




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 7:28:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
Maybe I wasn't really addicted to porn, since I could stop at any moment, but I had the habit to masturbate a little too much while indulging in various erotic fantasies online.
However, if I had some real life things to do which would force me to go away from computer, I could go for a week or two without any porn or erotic fantasy, but after that time, I'd go back to it.


External Control that interupted your pattern of behavior. Sounds like to me if you were left to your own idle devices, that you would continue this pattern of behavior, until another fixation or obsession takes hold to over-ride it?




SocratesNot -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 7:32:01 PM)


quote:


External Control that interupted your pattern of behavior. Sounds like to me if you were left to your own idle devices, that you would continue this pattern of behavior, until another fixation or obsession takes hold to over-ride it?


Not always, sometimes I would simply firmly decide to stop doing it.
For example from January 27th to April 6th 2008, I haven't used computer at all. Just to prove to myself that I can. And this had very beneficial effects on me.




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 7:42:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth
Odd, I could have sworn he said he was doing things like listening to music instead of getting things done that needed doing - not in the OP but elsewhere in the thread. I really can't be bothered to look but I'm sure of it.

When I reread the OP again, I saw it. It's right in the opening post. Basically, instead of following the course material or devoting time to his assignments, he was fixated upon his own personal self-improvement programs. Sort of a screw what the school and/or course outlines are, and continue upon his own agenda. He was not taking into consideration what the consequences would be. Now, after the fact he's had to face the negative consequences and the impacts it's had upon his Long Term Goals.

While I'm not certain, I suspect he himself was somewhat aware of the consequences at the time, however the negative consequences were not immediate. So he was able to continue doing things he was fixated or rather more into doing.

Basically there was not immediate punishment or immediate negative effects for literally Jacking-Off, or endulging in other distractions, the stuff he got caught up in doing, while letting school assignments slide. I suspect he might excell at topics in school that captivate his interests or attention, however with other topics that does not interest him, I suspect he totally blows them off and finds it painfully difficult to devote time to learning. However, I push comes to shove and he's forced to devote time to the topics that don't interest him, he's perhaps one motivated mother-fucker trying to avoid the negative consequences at the last minute, or cram in a lot of make-up work if given ONE last chance.




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 7:50:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
quote:


External Control that interupted your pattern of behavior. Sounds like to me if you were left to your own idle devices, that you would continue this pattern of behavior, until another fixation or obsession takes hold to over-ride it?


Not always, sometimes I would simply firmly decide to stop doing it.
For example from January 27th to April 6th 2008, I haven't used computer at all. Just to prove to myself that I can. And this had very beneficial effects on me.


As I said, another obsession to take hold and over-ride it. You were fixated upon knowing if you could do this or not, so therefore it really did happen. :-) Don't you think or believe how you reacted was rather extreme? You were fixated upon doing so, so it actually happened. You replaced one fixation with another in this case. Not using a computer "At All" from Jan 27 until April 6th was/is rather extreme.

What I'm seeing here is the Fixation becoming a bit of a mask, to the fixation itself. Where you were fixated upon controlling your own fixated internet use.




Ishtarr -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 7:57:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

As I said, another obsession to take hold and over-ride it. You were fixated upon knowing if you could do this or not, so therefore it really did happen. :-) Don't you think or believe how you reacted was rather extreme? You were fixated upon doing so, so it actually happened. You replaced one fixation with another in this case. Not using a computer "At All" from Jan 27 until April 6th was/is rather extreme.

What I'm seeing here is the Fixation becoming a bit of a mask, to the fixation itself. Where you were fixated upon controlling your own fixated internet use.


I agree with that.
It would have been more impressive if you could have limited your computer time to a "reasonable amount" without even putting an exact number on what a "reasonable amount" is.

All or nothing situations are the hallmark of an addict.
A non-alcoholic can merrily have a beer, or a few beers, or a lot of beers, or get totally wasted, without that having any long-term negative effects.
An alcoholic on the other hand can't even have one beer, and drinking just one can be the route to absolute doom.
ONLY for an alcoholic is alcohol an all or nothing situation.




SocratesNot -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 8:03:25 PM)

quote:

It would have been more impressive if you could have limited your computer time to a "reasonable amount" without even putting an exact number on what a "reasonable amount" is.


Yeah, you're right. The same as with alcohol.
But, I simply can't do it. I can't limit my computer time to a reasonable amount, unless I am forced to do it by some other obligations or if I am in a period of intensive social life (which happens from time to time, mostly in the summer).

It seems you got it right, I'm an addict.




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 8:11:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

quote:

It would have been more impressive if you could have limited your computer time to a "reasonable amount" without even putting an exact number on what a "reasonable amount" is.


Yeah, you're right. The same as with alcohol.
But, I simply can't do it. I can't limit my computer time to a reasonable amount, unless I am forced to do it by some other obligations or if I am in a period of intensive social life (which happens from time to time, mostly in the summer).

It seems you got it right, I'm an addict.



I'm certain you are smart enough to know or realize that "Behavior Modification" is in order here, right?





Ishtarr -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 8:13:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

It seems you got it right, I'm an addict.




That realization in itself isn't bad though...
And at least you're an addict that has already proven to himself that he can quit if he wants to.
Problem is that for an addict, quitting means going to zero... telling yourself you'll manage with just one drink is an illusion.




SocratesNot -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 8:18:06 PM)

quote:

telling yourself you'll manage with just one drink is an illusion.


I know a lot of smokers who were never able to restrict the number of cigarettes they smoke. They only succeeded when they decided to quit smoking totally.




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 8:28:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
quote:

telling yourself you'll manage with just one drink is an illusion.

I know a lot of smokers who were never able to restrict the number of cigarettes they smoke. They only succeeded when they decided to quit smoking totally.


However, many smokers and even alcholics can establish and set life priorities and reach those goals. Do you see where I'm coming from? There are some extremely functional people with additions. The problem is when the additions start to cause problems to the point that priorities get screwed up. It's okay to have more than one drink, ironic many people will have at least a couple of drinks when they drink or go out. So if you can stop at a reasonable number it's okay that you drink more than one. If however, you can't handle drinking at all (meaning you'll drink and drink and drink yourself stupid, or your personality becomes mean and angry and you want to fight and do harmful things, it's best to not drink).

Again, many people smoke and drink and still manage to maintain their priorities. Meaning they won't drink while on the job, they will wait until after work, then set a reasonable time limit to be at a bar, for an hour or two, then go home, do work around the house or whatever else. So what if they had 1,2,3,4 beers at the bar. Basically, it's management of your time and setting priorities.

Hope this helps you some.




SocratesNot -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 8:34:02 PM)

quote:

However, many smokers and even alcholics can establish and set life priorities and reach those goals. Do you see where I'm coming from? There are some extremely functional people with additions. The problem is when the additions start to cause problems to the point that priorities get screwed up. It's okay to have more than one drink, ironic many people will have at least a couple of drinks when they drink or go out. So if you can stop at a reasonable number it's okay that you drink more than one. If however, you can't handle drinking at all (meaning you'll drink and drink and drink yourself stupid, or your personality becomes mean and angry and you want to fight and do harmful things, it's best to not drink).

Again, many people smoke and drink and still manage to maintain their priorities. Meaning they won't drink while on the job, they will wait until after work, then set a reasonable time limit to be at a bar, for an hour or two, then go home, do work around the house or whatever else. So what if they had 1,2,3,4 beers at the bar. Basically, it's manament of your time and setting priorities.

Hope this helps you some.


Thank you.
This is actually strategy that I sort of, already use, because none of my addictions so far were actually harmful in a way you describe. They had some bad effects but nothing too serious.




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Slave mentality (6/2/2010 8:41:29 PM)

Dude, you don't seem to be using a working set of "priorities" and managing your time wisely. Listening to music ain't the problem, reading books ain't the problem either. What are you somehow gonna quit music cold fucking turkey, never pick up a book again that interests you? Come on here, these things themselves are NONE Addictive substances. LOL.. The additions you have shared with us on here, ain't like Crack or some hardcore drugs. A lot of it is shit that many people do in day to day life.

It's simply not realistic for you to go COLD Turkey on these things to get a grip on your Addictions. There is something else going on besides Addition here.

Personally, I think the words fixation or obsession are more suited in your case compared to addition.

Seriously, you seem to loose focus of your own priorities as the result of these fixations and that's what is causing you angst in your life.

You need to somehow get into the routine or habit of fixating upon your priorities and time management.




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