RE: Job Applications? (Full Version)

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kuppykake -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 6:29:08 AM)

I can understand a slave doing such when looking fr a Dom/me.  I suppose a slave should show that person why they would be worthy, but I see what you are saying...it is rather ironic.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 6:33:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kuppykake
I can understand a slave doing such when looking fr a Dom/me.  I suppose a slave should show that person why they would be worthy, but I see what you are saying...it is rather ironic.


I have this mental image of somebody down on their hands and knees begging "I'm not worthy" just to prove how worthy they really are. :-/



UniqueRaven -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 6:44:30 AM)

[;)]
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: kuppykake
I can understand a slave doing such when looking fr a Dom/me.  I suppose a slave should show that person why they would be worthy, but I see what you are saying...it is rather ironic.


I have this mental image of somebody down on their hands and knees begging "I'm not worthy" just to prove how worthy they really are. :-/



Mm hmm, not so much about showing if i'm "worthy" or not - that tends to be an internet fantasy - more of just if my skills are a good match for his needs.

i'm a renaissance woman - i know about everything from southern BBQ to major art museums to NASCAR to cricket.  If you want to talk about it, or enjoy it, i'm there.

i'm wicked awesome at Trivial Pursuit. 



NuevaVida -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 6:54:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kuppykake

I suppose a slave should show that person why they would be worthy...


And see I'm kind of glad he was able to figure that out for himself, rather than have me spell it out for him or "prove" it.  He's kind of smart that way.  [;)]



porcelaine -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 6:55:38 AM)

UniqueRaven,

quote:

i often feel like i'm "interviewing" when speaking with potential Owners - but then, in a way, i'm interviewing them too.


You are and the same holds true on their end as well. What gets a little iffy is how this plays out and I've seen varying approaches. For some, the deck is neatly stacked in their favor. They ask a lot and reveal far less which can give the feeling one is being interviewed. When I encounter that my response will be largely dependent on how it unfolds. If he dances around his interest and is neatly filling in the blanks while we speak I'll probably get irritated in all honesty. I think there must be a balance as you said but I won't waste my time. At some point we must cut to the chase and be honest with ourselves and the other person.

quote:

i am a slave by vocation


I'm simply a slave. Living as another person's property is going to impact my identity a great deal. I will change and so will he. I have no compartmentalization. I'm not a service, sexual, or domestic slave. I'm merely his. What I've come to learn over the years is that much of that goes out the window when you're in the right hands. Some situations emphasize certain aspects over others but all reflect a common theme - my willing deference to the dominant.

quote:

Complicated, yes.  But fun.  Not for everyone, but it is very fulfilling for me.  [:)]


As time wears on I find myself drawn to people that take me outside of my comfort zone. Not merely for the challenge or the stretching that ensues, but truthfully my unwillingness to develop relationships that present slavery on my terms instead of his.

~porcelaine



porcelaine -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 7:01:44 AM)

kuppykake,

quote:

I suppose a slave should show that person why they would be worthy, but I see what you are saying...it is rather ironic.


Others have questioned this approach but I'm curious and would appreciate additional insight if possible. How might an unowned slave prove her worth to a prospective dominant in your opinion?

~porcelaine



UniqueRaven -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 7:06:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

UniqueRaven,

quote:

i often feel like i'm "interviewing" when speaking with potential Owners - but then, in a way, i'm interviewing them too.


You are and the same holds true on their end as well. What gets a little iffy is how this plays out and I've seen varying approaches. For some, the deck is neatly stacked in their favor. They ask a lot and reveal far less which can give the feeling one is being interviewed. When I encounter that my response will be largely dependent on how it unfolds. If he dances around his interest and is neatly filling in the blanks while we speak I'll probably get irritated in all honesty. I think there must be a balance as you said but I won't waste my time. At some point we must cut to the chase and be honest with ourselves and the other person.

Agreed - there is an art to things.


quote:

quote:

i am a slave by vocation

I'm simply a slave. Living as another person's property is going to impact my identity a great deal. I will change and so will he. I have no compartmentalization. I'm not a service, sexual, or domestic slave. I'm merely his. What I've come to learn over the years is that much of that goes out the window when you're in the right hands. Some situations emphasize certain aspects over others but all reflect a common theme - my willing deference to the dominant.


i think this really is a matter of individual composition - for me, it is necessary to have that mental engagement with Him on many levels - however it is engagement firmly deferred to the will of a Man - it is being engaged with his will, if that makes sense.  So in that regards i do have a sense of self, and identity, and no matter how far "down" i'm taken as his slave (in a good way) my experience is such that it actually is more empowering for my slave identity, and as a result how i serve him.  i think i have gained a lot of compartmentalization over the years - especially in my previous long term Ownership - but for me it has been healthy, because i can quickly and easily identify exactly how my Owner is seeking my response to a need, and engage on that level - simply, without complication.  i tend to be more operationally "action-oriented" (even though i am very much a romantic), and will ultimately be serving One who has that sort of need - it is very fun. 

quote:

quote:

Complicated, yes.  But fun.  Not for everyone, but it is very fulfilling for me.  [:)]

As time wears on I find myself drawn to people that take me outside of my comfort zone. Not merely for the challenge or the stretching that ensues, but truthfully my unwillingness to develop relationships that present slavery on my terms instead of his.

i agree.  Life is all about experiences, after all. 



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 7:14:33 AM)

I'm sitting here reflecting to a few years back, I had responded to a girl with a slave profile, we exchanged a few messages and then went voice. I asked her why she was or wanted to be a slave. Her answer was because she wanted somebody to take care of her. Interview over for me.



UniqueRaven -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 7:20:36 AM)

You know, i contend that at some point a slave has to make that mental shift that it isn't all about him/her - and it's about the Owner, not the slave.  The slave's journey is fed by the Owner's journey - not the other way around.

Without that shift, it just isn't going to happen. 



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 7:35:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

You know, i contend that at some point a slave has to make that mental shift that it isn't all about him/her - and it's about the Owner, not the slave.  The slave's journey is fed by the Owner's journey - not the other way around.

Without that shift, it just isn't going to happen. 

This is impairative to any M/s relationship, while not so much in none M/s based relationships. I have certain views and expectations between a M/s, D/s or Dom couple relationship. I will say this, "somebody to take care me" ain't the correct primary reason or answer I'd be looking for in a none M/s relationship either.



Andalusite -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 7:41:56 AM)

Last year, when I was looking, one profile had formatting that was reminiscent of a resume, but seemed a bit tongue-in-cheek. I sent him a lightly teasing, playful response, and he wound up very interesting, intelligent, and had a great sense of humour, when we met up in person. In general, I think it can be a bit pretentious, but wouldn't assume that if I liked what they had to say.



heartcream -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 8:07:48 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian



For me, it's understandable, considering the fact most of us are strangers looking for other strangers within a profile directory. When you add on to that the inevitable tomfoolery of the quasi-illiterate or insincere, it's easy to see why profiles sometimes strike a very rigid, business-like tone; several hoops need to be jumped through first for the would-be servant—namely, fitting the criteria important to the dominant individual. And of course the same can be said of what is important to the submissive, in turn. Long, flowery prose afraid of getting to the point tends to glaze the eye.

On the other hand, I do understand the overall gist you're getting at. I often see the distillation of essences into a laundry list of fetishes and X years of experience. For me, that is close to worthless information, and when displayed so prominently up front on a profile it can send the wrong message entirely. I always found short and sweet and simply stated—but illuminatingly so—more intriguing. A brief but elegant and honest description of doctrine and what is sought is more impressive. Provide some key points of back story and some general warnings / rules about contact, and things work fairly well.

For those seeking to serve (particularly the submissive male variety), starting off the first line of communication with a "Hello Mistress. I am a young and handsome slave, who would love to..." isn't the most optimized approach. Word to the wise.



I have seen plenty of insincerity, lies, hocus pocus and crap amongst those who can string a sentence together like laying gold leaf.

To me it is a question of finding the right person for what you are seeking. These sorts of silly profiles where they are EXPERTS at so many things, like 'coffee shops' and 'walking' are good indicators of 'time to click onto the next profile'. There seems to be zillions of wankers frequenting this place and the rare person who truly does interest me, whether they have mad literary skillz or no, wafts off in some sort of way making their uniqueness evident. Then again after some correspondence the true colors might then prevail and it is all leveled down to the samo bs wanker stuff posing as something else entirely.

Truth will out, cream will rise...one day at a time...put your left foot in, take your left foot out...



porcelaine -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 8:32:08 AM)

UniqueRaven,

quote:

i think this really is a matter of individual composition - for me, it is necessary to have that mental engagement with Him on many levels - however it is engagement firmly deferred to the will of a Man - it is being engaged with his will, if that makes sense.


Okay we're talking ebb and flow.

quote:

i think i have gained a lot of compartmentalization over the years - especially in my previous long term Ownership - but for me it has been healthy, because i can quickly and easily identify exactly how my Owner is seeking my response to a need, and engage on that level - simply, without complication.


In essence you're adding layers rather than removing them?

~porcelaine



NuevaVida -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 8:33:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

You know, i contend that at some point a slave has to make that mental shift that it isn't all about him/her - and it's about the Owner, not the slave.



In my relationship, it is about "us".  Without that balance, it doesn't work.  It is his preference as well as mine.  Us as a unit, us as a relationship, comes first.  His needs are met within that, as is my drive to serve him.

quote:


The slave's journey is fed by the Owner's journey - not the other way around.


We are journeying together and feed each other on it.

quote:


Without that shift, it just isn't going to happen. 


Without the shift from "me" to "us", I agree.   But it's not all about him any more than it is all about me.  It's all about us.  We focus on each other, on our overall goals together, and on forming one bond together.



porcelaine -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 8:34:57 AM)

Whiplashsmile4,

quote:

I'm sitting here reflecting to a few years back, I had responded to a girl with a slave profile, we exchanged a few messages and then went voice. I asked her why she was or wanted to be a slave. Her answer was because she wanted somebody to take care of her. Interview over for me.


Transparency at its finest! [;)]

I've stepped away from many situations that involved being kept. But now I've come full circle. It's all good. I'm not bothered by it.

~porcelaine



UniqueRaven -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 8:38:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

UniqueRaven,


quote:

i think i have gained a lot of compartmentalization over the years - especially in my previous long term Ownership - but for me it has been healthy, because i can quickly and easily identify exactly how my Owner is seeking my response to a need, and engage on that level - simply, without complication.


In essence you're adding layers rather than removing them?



No - breaking them down, discarding the superfluous and making them simple and easily accessible.  For me, if i'm not aware of what the "layers" actually are, they have no utility in service.  Some are useful, some are not - and that ultimate determination is up to my future Owner, of course, which right now is a grey area.  So at this stage it is more about being ready than anything else.

Think of it like cleaning out an old closet in a way - more than half will be tossed, and the rest sorted, compartmentalized, and made easily accessible for use.  As time goes by, that will be broken down even more, most likely, and room for new things to be added in.  The key is in the awareness and the processing of the "stuff" - which if i am reading you right, you are referring to as "layers."

i am a pretty open and exposed person by nature - it doesn't take much to get to the core of my soul. 

(edited b/c i can't spell this morning)



porcelaine -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 8:44:20 AM)

NuevaVida,

quote:

In my relationship, it is about "us".  Without that balance, it doesn't work.  It is his preference as well as mine.  Us as a unit, us as a relationship, comes first.  His needs are met within that, as is my drive to serve him.


I used to write about the transition from me and you to we and us. I believe the latter is much healthier and emphasizes the whole rather than individual parts.

quote:

We are journeying together and feed each other on it.


I agree. And when it flows it's like yin and yang.

quote:

Without the shift from "me" to "us", I agree.   But it's not all about him any more than it is all about me.  It's all about us.  We focus on each other, on our overall goals together, and on forming one bond together.


You said a mouthful. I encounter a lot of unhappy people on the kneel and quite a bit of it stems from this.

~porcelaine



SailingBum -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 8:51:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tappin

Don't you feel like looking for Doms/Dommes is like looking for a job? I don't know if others get this feeling, but when I look for dommes I do feel like that. As I read their profile, it reminds me of a job offer. "I am looking for an obedient slave, who would pleasure me and obey my every command. He must be 20+ and is willing to try new things." - that sounds like a job offer and then a sub sends his CV, something like "Hello Mistress. I am a young and handsome slave, who would please you any time you want. I have 4 years experience in BDSM and have tried CBT, Anal, Fireplay, crossdressing..."

Do you feel like that too? Does it bother you or not? or do you think it's normal?


To my way of thinking your going about it all wrong <so are the doms of the world> I could really care less about anyones so called "kink factor". What captivates me is the simple stuff... are we compatible? does she make me smile... etc. Not the fact that she can suck the chrome offin a trailer hitch. <Tho I must admit that would be a nice bonus>

BadOne



UniqueRaven -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 8:51:50 AM)

NuevaVida, i do agree with everything you post about it being a mutual journey. 

To be honest i'm still evaluating exactly how my serving his journey works in the overall scheme of things - but i do come out with that it is my Owner's journey that feeds mine - even though both journeys are valid and need equal support for the success of the relationship.  It is what i need for it to be so, at least at this stage of life.

However i'm not putting too much critical thought into this right now - as i know that this is dependent upon my future Ownership and it is really almost impossible for me to fully consider at this stage.  My focus right now is on simply being, and being open and honest, as i engage in discussions with a potential future Owner - and not get ahead of myself.

Thank you to you, and to porcelaine, for sharing your thoughts with me.  i value them all.  [:)]



porcelaine -> RE: Job Applications? (6/3/2010 8:54:58 AM)

UniqueRaven,

quote:

No - breaking them down, discarding the superfluous and making them simple and easily accessible.


This I get. We're peeling them back and traversing to the core. However, then you say...

quote:

For me, if i'm not aware of what the "layers" actually are, they have no utility in service.


Awareness meaning you're clueless or unable to pinpoint why they exist?

quote:

Some are useful, some are not - and that ultimate determination is up to my future Owner, of course, which right now is a grey area.  So at this stage it is more about being ready than anything else.


Are you suggesting that the structure remains "as is" until the owner arrives and provides his own customization?

quote:

The key is in the awareness and the processing of the "stuff" - which if i am reading you right, you are referring to as "layers."


I define them as illusions and impediments to the self - the core that we're referencing. Some are good and others not so good but each exists for a reason.

quote:

it doesn't take much to get to the core of my soul.


How do you know when you're there?

~porcelaine



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