What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress



Message

subapplicant -> What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/10/2006 10:32:50 AM)

Do you have a physical and mental reaction that occurs when you begin to exercise control? Is there a defining "feeling" that you are entering Domina-space? Something that occurs almost instantaneously?

As a submissive I have a very defined reaction that I have noticed. It can be triggered by a simple thing, the cock of an eyebrow, a harsh word, the feeling of a hand gripping my hair. At that moment I feel "hijacked". A change in my body chemistry occurs instantly, before my thinking mind can register it. I become "flooded".

Physically, I feel my pulse begin to race. Adrenaline floods my stomach. There is a slight tremble in my body. I display all of the signs of anxious arousal.

Mentally, my thoughts become hijacked. I feel scattered, non-centered. There is a sense of being out of control, as if my body has taken over my thoughts in a way I can't stop. I feel shattered, broken into many pieces. Time speeds up.

I wonder - what is the similar experience for a Dominant? Do you feel a strong sense of "centering". Do you feel more of a sense of "one-ness" that comes with ego strength? Does time slow down? Do you gain greater control over your movements? Is there a pleasant physical reaction that occurs in an instant?

What does it feel like for a Dominant Woman at the moment of dominance?



MasterFireMaam -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/10/2006 10:53:33 AM)

For me, I have the most intense reactions if the scene is spiritual in some way. If this is true, I get to a place where nothing exists but the now (present). Time has no meaning. I am aware of myself, my slave(s), the energy and little else. I am centered both through my root AND my crown. This is not true for most scenes I do purely for pleasure or fun. Then, I'm aware of things around me, in particular music. If I'm at a party, I might also be aware of who is in the audience, so to speak. Sometimes, those scenes turn into spiritual times, oft times, they don't.

When the scene is intense, as it is with spiritual things for me, there is a feeling of power that comes. It's not necessarily related to being Dominant; it's a part of my medicine (or magick or whatever you'd like to call it). Feeling that AND hearing one of mine asking for me to hurt them...well...that's just bliss. By the end, it's what I imagine being almost drunk is like (I don't drink nor have I ever been drunk) only with clarity of mind/vision. There's an animalistic tinge to it, as I'm usually visited by a totem. Physiologically, my pulse is faster, my breathing deeper and my motions very, very deliberate.

Fire

Fire



TheShadows -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/10/2006 10:58:58 AM)

For me, the experience is likened to a "lightbulb moment".  Tah dah!  I wonder if that makes a lot of sense to anyone but me.  Time slows down.  I become hyper focused, and feel the buildup of this "thing" deep in my gut.  I have to keep a tight grip on this "thing", lest it rage out of control, and consume me.  It's my beast. 



MstrssPassion -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/10/2006 12:21:18 PM)

I'm assuming you are referring to what takes place internally within us prior to having an intense session with another... because my 'moment of dominance' is not something that is turned off or on... it is simply something I am, all the time.

You say time speeds up for you... it slows down for me. I have such a sense of clarity that I can feel people as the move around me. My nose tingles & it seems I can make out every detail of smell. My hearing picks up on every breath, every heartbeat... mine as well as theirs. I can feel the distance between myself & anything around me. 

Words don't seem to express just how exquisite this feels.

Yes, the adrenaline flows & I feel a quiver but I do not feel anxious.



subapplicant -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/10/2006 12:32:33 PM)

Thank you for the reply.

The "moment" I refer to is usually at the start of a Mistress/slave interaction. It refers to the first moment when you enter a different frame of mind, and emotion, due to some trigger.

Perhaps "trigger" is the wrong word for a Dominant Woman. I think it is approriate to the submssive experience. Something happens instantaneously to start the slide into subspace.

For a Woman, however, there may be a longer fuse, since she is aware of her actions and plans them accordingly.



thetammyjo -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/10/2006 1:07:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subapplicant

Do you have a physical and mental reaction that occurs when you begin to exercise control? Is there a defining "feeling" that you are entering Domina-space? Something that occurs almost instantaneously?

As a submissive I have a very defined reaction that I have noticed. It can be triggered by a simple thing, the cock of an eyebrow, a harsh word, the feeling of a hand gripping my hair. At that moment I feel "hijacked". A change in my body chemistry occurs instantly, before my thinking mind can register it. I become "flooded".

Physically, I feel my pulse begin to race. Adrenaline floods my stomach. There is a slight tremble in my body. I display all of the signs of anxious arousal.

Mentally, my thoughts become hijacked. I feel scattered, non-centered. There is a sense of being out of control, as if my body has taken over my thoughts in a way I can't stop. I feel shattered, broken into many pieces. Time speeds up.

I wonder - what is the similar experience for a Dominant? Do you feel a strong sense of "centering". Do you feel more of a sense of "one-ness" that comes with ego strength? Does time slow down? Do you gain greater control over your movements? Is there a pleasant physical reaction that occurs in an instant?

What does it feel like for a Dominant Woman at the moment of dominance?


"moment of dominance" huh?

Don't know what that is.

I am me.

When I am me, I let go of this social stuff that says I'm supposed to think about others first, put others first, and take care of everyone else first becasue I happen to be female.

I am myself when I am with my Ds partner and that feels just like me and nothing else. This feels relaxed, strong, and open.



thetammyjo -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/10/2006 1:09:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subapplicant

Thank you for the reply.

The "moment" I refer to is usually at the start of a Mistress/slave interaction. It refers to the first moment when you enter a different frame of mind, and emotion, due to some trigger.

Perhaps "trigger" is the wrong word for a Dominant Woman. I think it is approriate to the submssive experience. Something happens instantaneously to start the slide into subspace.

For a Woman, however, there may be a longer fuse, since she is aware of her actions and plans them accordingly.


This clarifies things more to my mind but my answer is basically the same.

I feel safe, really safe, safe enough to think about myself first and foremost.



MstrssPassion -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/10/2006 3:48:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subapplicant

Thank you for the reply.

The "moment" I refer to is usually at the start of a Mistress/slave interaction. It refers to the first moment when you enter a different frame of mind, and emotion, due to some trigger.

Perhaps "trigger" is the wrong word for a Dominant Woman. I think it is approriate to the submssive experience. Something happens instantaneously to start the slide into subspace.

For a Woman, however, there may be a longer fuse, since she is aware of her actions and plans them accordingly.


I'm still not sure if I follow you.

Again I ask... is the "interaction" you know refer to the start of a scene/bdsm session/play/etc ??

As far as a trigger... I think of that as 'something' that evokes a response whether it be physical, emotional or mental. I'll reiterate that for me, dominance is just something I am... period. Being alive & breathing is all it takes to 'trigger' that.

I don't have a dominant button. I don't have to have anything trigger me to be dominant in any type of activity with my submissive. We are 'interacting' even we do something as 'normal' & mundane as having a cup of coffee. This is why I think what you are referring to is in fact some sort of planned session that takes place so that mutual triggers happen & that means for the dominant as well as the submissive.




MsDominiquenz -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/10/2006 3:49:50 PM)

The experience for me is very much the same as what has been described, time slows, senses change and an internal antenna goes up. I am aware of the chemical changes in the sub and feel a locked on connection that I am in control of and I wont let go till I am ready.
I can get a shaky knee rush when dealing with pain.. and become very melted and dreamy then fire again.
To answer your question subapplicant.. its in the eyes. Im told my eyes are powerful, and I react to the subs eyes, and that can be different with different people, but the mirror of the soul, the minds eye, I know when I am in. Thats the moment.



MstrssPassion -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/10/2006 4:48:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsDominiquenz
Im told my eyes are powerful, and I react to the subs eyes, and that can be different with different people, but the mirror of the soul, the minds eye, I know when I am in. Thats the moment.


I can relate to this to a point... but it brings a couple of question's to mind. (kind of off-topic, sorry)

I too receive comments all the time about my eyes & I too can read people very well by looking into their eyes, but what happens when the eyes are covered or your back & their back is toward you?

I have engaged in some rather intense mummification scenes where very little could be seen, even the rise & fall of one's chest that would indicate breathing. This is not a scene I would do with a stranger because first, there would have to be a GREAT deal of trust involved & secondly, a deep bond between myself & this individual. Empathetic connection. When a look in the eyes is not possible, when words & sounds cannot be uttered, one must rely on different means to communicate/sense the needs of their partner.



MsDominiquenz -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/10/2006 5:45:09 PM)

Hi there Mistress Passion..agreed ! I was just answering the intital trigger question with the eyes ..your word empathy I think will do for the rest of my experience, Women's intuition, a connection, all of the above. It is a spiritual energy, and a closed door, or layers of mummification cant switch that off eh ?

Once I have connected this way with someone its not a flipped switch, it is there all the time and my dominance is constant, but sometimes it goes up and down some levels with different activities. Kundalini, a joining of spirit, a sensing...its so hard to describe, but its wonderful ! Very powerful.

I think that what you describe is the mark of many dominants, I also train new Dommes, and I pay attention to their connection with their toy, their eye reactions and their attentiveness to the person, what they are feeling from them.. how they react to that, and move on their own dominant impulses..or not.
If they are not switched on and connected, fiddle about with things, block and pause and not the energy involved with motivating or interacting with a sub it needs to be looked out. A disjointed or not in touch Domina is impossible for the sub to relate to.

You make me think of blindfolds..essential and yes, hide the eyes, but I make sure the blindfold is lifted now and then to do an eye check..hahaha !! No drifting off into la la land and forgetting the magnetic gaze of who is in control !!!



MistressLorelei -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/10/2006 7:01:22 PM)

I also, do not have an on/off switch which defines when I am in 'Dominant mode'.  There are times when I am in a 'wicked' mode.  Usually, something very intense physically or mentally is happening or about to happen.    At those times I do get a sort of adrenaline rush which makes Me feel stronger internally and outwardly.   I believe at those times, My submissive would be feeling well used or humiliated, and in major sub-space.  The D/s dynamic would always be present, no matter what level of wickedness I am feeling.



Cloudz -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/10/2006 7:18:13 PM)

Hmmm, It depends on the situation. For me it would be a slow but steady warming glow deep inside, or a hot rush of pleasure...depending on what/who/where



TexasMaam -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/10/2006 8:26:15 PM)

I think that you're asking whether a Domina experiences something akin to subspace from the Dominant point of view.

Yes, I experience what I would refer to as Domme Space or a Dominant rush.  Like MstrssPassion, time slows for Me.  It's almost as if everything is in amazing clarity and in slow motion when that headspace hits.

It has nothing to do with My Dominant persona, which, like others who have posted have mentioned is "just who I am" and is 'on' all the time.

This is a distinct high, an elation that transcends time, space, senses, direction, intellect: it is, in short, nirvhana, and it has tremendous impact.

What usually sends me over the edge is a submissive action on the part of the sub.

It's rare for Me and does not occur with just any sub, but with the right sub can occur repeatedly and in an instant just because he's present and bowing his head before Me.

It is that experience that keeps Me searching in the hopes of finding 'just the right sub'; because that Domme Space just doesn't happen in vanilla relationships and it doesn't happen in casual D/s encounters, either.  (johnnyknots are you reading here?)  It takes a level of friendship, intimacy and trust before I experience that majic with a submissive.

Unfortunately, it's also an egg that's easily broken.  Once a sub has behaved in a manner that shatters the trust or bond that's been established, I could continue My relationship trying to re-establish that 'connection' that makes Domme Space possible but to no avail.  Once it's broken, it's broken and is beyond repair.

I don't know if that answers your question very well, but I tried!

TexasMaam



subapplicant -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/11/2006 6:51:05 AM)

Texas Ma'am:

Yes. Thank You. I think you did tease out the heart of my question, and gave me a nice response.

Perhaps the quicker question was the one you posed: does a Domina experience Domme-space in a similar (though different) manner as does a submissive.

A lot of Women responded by saying that since they were Dominant, they were Dominant all the time. There is no on/off switch. I feel the same is true for me. I consider myself to be a natural submissive. It colors who I am all the time.

But there are moments, many of them, when I feel a physical and mental "rush" that signals some type of transition in my body, brought on by a Dominant Woman. I can be with a Woman, and generally interacting with her "normally", as two people just trying to get the through the day. And she can give me glance, or say a harsh word, and suddenly things start to happen, without a thought from me, in an instant. A mini "hijacking".

The experience is bizarrely pleasant. Bizarre, because the words I use to describe the experience are negative ones: "hijacking", "flooding", "shattering", "loss of center", "anxious". And yet the experience is desired.

As I thought about this issue, I wondered if Dominant Woman had a similar, quick reaction at key times, but in opposite ways. "More centered" rather than "loss of center". "In control" rather than "hijacked". "Becoming one" instead of "shattered". "Time slows down" other than "Time speeds up".

Just wondering.



mons -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/19/2006 2:28:55 AM)

hello

My feeling are a bit different, I feel as if i am a caged animal my breathe is swallow! My body feels
as if I am pacing back and forth infront of my slave. When he sees my eyes move over him he quivers. Today I had one of my slaves I have not been in tocuh with for a week! He wrote me a letter a frantic one asking if i were mad at him. I was online and he saw me and im me, then my phone rang he was crying, tears I could hear his deep gasp after each sob, this made me feel so powerful and sexy. I explain things to him and I strighten out the problem. Tears for me are like the full emotion a slave can give, all of these things hieghten the sense of my power and wow it is great.

mons/jane



Kindred2Evil -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/19/2006 4:10:50 AM)

I'm not one that is able to be "on" all the time.  Regular mundane life interferes too much for that in my life.  But I do understand what you're saying.  There is that defining moment for me, when I have a boy at the house where it just seems to click into place.  I don't have and have never had a live in, mine have always come for visits.  It starts with the phone call for them to come over, I can feel my blood slowing down, my heart beat becomes heavier and slower.  When he comes through the door and drops to hands and knees I can feel that almost clicking noise in my head.  I go from being mother/wife to being Ma'am.  I'll get a rush as he crawls that makes my fingertips, nose and lips tingle.  I tend to get tunnel vision when I have scenes, I can't see or hear anything other than the one before me.  After he leaves it takes me some time to come back down and go back to mother/wife mode again.
To me, being Dominant colors every aspect of my life, I tend to categorize people, I'm very demanding no matter who I'm with or what I'm doing, I want things done a certain way whether at work or at home.  (I realize that this may not apply to every Domme, but it does to me).  But to go into full Domme mode there is a trigger for me, and it starts with the dialing of his phone number.  I hope I've been clear enough lol sometimes it's easier to think it than to write it.



YveGee -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/19/2006 4:48:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheShadows

For me, the experience is likened to a "lightbulb moment". Tah dah! I wonder if that makes a lot of sense to anyone but me. Time slows down. I become hyper focused, and feel the buildup of this "thing" deep in my gut. I have to keep a tight grip on this "thing", lest it rage out of control, and consume me. It's my beast.


This is almost a perfect description of how I feel! I would only add a feeling of rightness; a feeling that this is exactly where and when I belong.




cloudboy -> RE: What is the experience at the moment of Domination? (4/19/2006 5:05:32 PM)


This guy had his "posting permission" pulled.



Page: [1]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125