RE: Online presence...important or not? (Full Version)

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frazzle -> RE: Online presence...important or not? (6/4/2010 6:05:49 PM)

Having been to 1 munch and 1 play party, both of which i found hysterical, posting on a forum is irrelevant, tells you very little about someone real time.





ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: Online presence...important or not? (6/4/2010 7:22:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

I was reading THIS thread and instead of hijacking it, I decided to start my own.

How important is it for you or someone you're interested in to have an online presence, either here on CM or on another kink/adult site?

How much bearing does it have on whether or not you choose to write to or reply to a person's email?

Okay...quick edit....By "online presence" I mean forum posting or something similar.  Sorry about that.



I'd be more inclined to see it as a positive, and I wouldn't consider it a negative at all. My only interest in someone is what she's like in private. The less online presence a woman has, the more likely it is that I'd find her compatible.




Saint -> RE: Online presence...important or not? (6/5/2010 8:33:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

I was reading THIS thread and instead of hijacking it, I decided to start my own.

How important is it for you or someone you're interested in to have an online presence, either here on CM or on another kink/adult site?

How much bearing does it have on whether or not you choose to write to or reply to a person's email?

Okay...quick edit....By "online presence" I mean forum posting or something similar.  Sorry about that.



Hmm, good question. Anything beyond a minimal presence I am not interested in. I refuse to play the online D/s games that people play and if someone has a massive online presence on every site, every chatroom and every forum under the sun then they will surely spend more time on that than they will on the relationship. So a minimal presence is preferable, anything more and I start looking elsewhere.




juliaoceania -> RE: Online presence...important or not? (6/5/2010 9:48:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

I was reading THIS thread and instead of hijacking it, I decided to start my own.

How important is it for you or someone you're interested in to have an online presence, either here on CM or on another kink/adult site?

How much bearing does it have on whether or not you choose to write to or reply to a person's email?

Okay...quick edit....By "online presence" I mean forum posting or something similar.  Sorry about that.



In the future I want to meet men offline and I want them to have ZERO "presence" online... although if I met someone who was super awesome I would overlook online stuff... Lately I find addictions to facebook and other sites to be obnoxious in a mate and I try to limit my own time online




zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Online presence...important or not? (6/5/2010 10:10:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

Having been to 1 munch and 1 play party, both of which i found hysterical, posting on a forum is irrelevant, tells you very little about someone real time.




I disagree, seeing how someone interacts online on a forum where there are no consequences because they are annonymous can be very revealing.




blackpearl81 -> RE: Online presence...important or not? (6/5/2010 10:14:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

My personal preference is meeting people in real life.  I'd be much more serious about someone who was at My local munch group or that I met through an event.

If we're talking only about CM, I am much more favorable toward people who post on the forums. Someone who just has a profile on the other side isn't going to get far with Me. I even have that remark as a part of My profile. I want to see what people think on a variety of subjects and not just what they have written about themselves in their profile and journal. I want to know how they view topics. Not just themselves and not because it's what they think I want to hear because they are interacting with Me via mail.




I'm with you on this.

If I end up bantering with someone on the forums - either playfully or having a back/forth discussion, that usually prompts me to see their profile on the other side. If I see in their profile that we have a mutual interest, chances are I'll shoot em a "hi, how are you" type email, and see what happens from there.


With specific regards to an "online presence", that's kind of a slippery slope. Too little of a presence, and you may not get noticed. Too much of a presence, and it seems like you have no life, friends, or whatever have you.




lucylucy -> RE: Online presence...important or not? (6/5/2010 4:01:02 PM)

Master doesn't have an online presence and that's fine by me.




SirPumpy -> RE: Online presence...important or not? (6/5/2010 4:27:33 PM)

Forums do give some of us astute enough to read between the lines a great deal of information about the person posting ESPECIALLY when they post about emotional topics.

And when you post for long enough even if you fake a lot of it chunks of the real you come out in your writings.

I prefer to associate with people who don't take things too seriously but who are balanced enough to know when something is important and when something is not and have a sense of humour, dark humour is good.

Consideration and thoughtful behaviour are also a huge plus and a touch of crazy is a nice topping to the profile.

If as a Dominant Male, I cant see certain traits and yet see an abundance of others in a potential plaything then I am not the real thing right?

As for the profiles?

Yup.... Amazing how many supermodel style 18-20 yr old sub/slaves there are out there who have profiles that ring hollow like a church bell.

Although the journals are a great addition and very much help to understand and gain insight into a person.




littlewonder -> RE: Online presence...important or not? (6/5/2010 6:45:00 PM)

while I did meet Master here on CM and he was pretty active on the forums at the time, to be honest I really never paid much mind to his posts until we started getting more serious. Then I started reading everything he posted so I could get a better idea of his views and who he is as a person. If he had not posted on the forums though I just would have found these things out the old fashioned way...we would have brought up the topics in conversations and talked them over. It was just a little easier by reading his posts.

It doesn't really matter to me though if he had an online presence or not. He doesn't post as much these days as much as he used to but I'm still fine with that. I think I know him pretty well now. [;)]




sunshinemiss -> RE: Online presence...important or not? (6/5/2010 9:36:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I don't care if they are on the interwebs, but if they ARE, I want what they post and how they behave in realtime to match. That's been quite the tripping point for a few![>:]



First, Carrie O - I'm not sure that it is important to me, but I do appreciate it. I remember a few years ago being desperately in crush with Cuffkinks and Simply Michael because of the way they treated their women. Between the two of them, I saw how a man *should* treat his woman, even a woman in a D/s type relationship. That was a real eye opener for me! (Thank you, gentlemen, for the lessons.) As an aside, I have broken bread with each of them and am happy to call both of those men "friend". Because of who they are, how they represented themselves, I learned that they are the kind of men I want in my life. Not because of just how they treated their women, but because of the men that they are.

I don't *need* a man with an on line presence. It does tell me a bit about how his mind works, his sense of humor, how intelligent he is, his interests, his ability to see through nonsense. The lack of an online presence doesn't mean he doesn't have those things, it just means I'm not aware of them.

Hib - As you know, I've met many people on these boards over the years. Only one person was vastly different than the way s/he portrayed on the boards. That was disappointing, but the folks who stick around the forums generally are pretty clearly who they are. You can't hide forever!

Best,
sunshine




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