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Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 5:16:41 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		I was reading THIS thread and instead of hijacking it, I decided to start my own.

How important is it for you or someone you're interested in to have an online presence, either here on CM or on another kink/adult site?

How much bearing does it have on whether or not you choose to write to or reply to a person's email?

Okay...quick edit....By "online presence" I mean forum posting or something similar.  Sorry about that.


< Message edited by CarrieO -- 6/4/2010 5:24:17 AM >

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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 5:22:55 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		If my Sir didn't have an online presence - ie a profile on collarme - i would have never found him.
He very seldom , if ever, posts on the boards so that was less important to me in my initial search.

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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 5:25:35 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

If my Sir didn't have an online presence - ie a profile on collarme - i would have never found him.
He very seldom , if ever, posts on the boards so that was less important to me in my initial search.


Thanks for the reply...I've edited my op to better reflect my point.  Ugh...lack of coffee!

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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 5:26:25 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		It isn't important for me CarrieO.  I have made many friends through reading their posts first and getting to know them however I have never dated someone that I knew initially through their forum posts.  All of the people I dated from the other side rarely (if ever) posted on the forums and I doubt if they even read the message boards to be honest.

I do agree that it would be nice to be able to read forum posts or journal posts but usually I get to know someone through emails.  The only turn off would be if they had negative journal or message board posts as opposed to none.


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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 5:29:12 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm the forumite, he spends his free time doing other things. So for me it isn't that important.

However, if you are going to post, as in the person in the other thread asking for the advice, then the advice given is applicable. You want the overall impression of your posts to be positive. You want to come off as a good guy and not an asshat.

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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 7:49:02 AM   
switch2please


Posts: 494
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline 		I probably won't notice them unless they DO post on the forums, but I hardly ever perv on profiles anymore.    
I'm keep this profile active to keep up with online friends I've made and read the forums - and laugh at the 'asshat' messages I get, those are fun...new favorite word btw, thanks DesFIP!

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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 7:57:05 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		HM found me on the other side. I found my first Dom (my friend now) in the forums on the bondage site. I guess it can work either way. (at least it has for me!)

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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 8:00:47 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		It is not important to me at all.

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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 8:03:27 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		My personal preference is meeting people in real life.  I'd be much more serious about someone who was at My local munch group or that I met through an event.

If we're talking only about CM, I am much more favorable toward people who post on the forums.  Someone who just has a profile on the other side isn't going to get far with Me.  I even have that remark as a part of My profile.  I want to see what people think on a variety of subjects and not just what they have written about themselves in their profile and journal.  I want to know how they view topics.  Not just themselves and not because it's what they think I want to hear because they are interacting with Me via mail.


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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 8:23:19 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Unimportant.  I post here and on Fet; he does not.

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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 9:22:51 AM   
Syrox


Posts: 260
Joined: 5/13/2010
Status: offline 		I'm all over the place. Here, Fetlife and several other smaller sites.  As well as Facebook, all of which I will happily give to anyone who I chat to as it gives something of a portal to who i am as a person. not just my kink.




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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 9:56:43 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I don't care if they are on the interwebs, but if they ARE, I want what they post and how they behave in realtime to match. That's been quite the tripping point for a few!

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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 10:08:24 AM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline 		I don't know that I would find it to be necessarily important but it certainly would be useful. Particularly in the manner you suggested i.e. a regular forum poster here or on another site like this. On occasion I take a peek at the profiles of forum regulars here to find that they don't seem to be written by the same person that I see posting regularly in the forums.

I see the profile as a resumé in that it is how a person sees themselves or perhaps how they wish to be seen. I see a person's body of work in a forum as a glimpse inside their home on closed circuit camera - how they really are and what they really think. I think you tend to see the real person here in the forums and I would take the time to read anything they posted before I wrote if I was looking.




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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 10:48:07 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone for sharing.

I agree with this post...

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I don't care if they are on the interwebs, but if they ARE, I want what they post and how they behave in realtime to match. That's been quite the tripping point for a few!


I've met with quite a few people from CM and only a very small portion had posted on these boards or any other for that matter.
I will still have a look to see if they have any postings before writing or replying to someone here.  If they don't, that doesn't mean I'll not write or reply...it just means I have more to learn. 


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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 5:13:48 PM   
Newnshiny


Posts: 22
Joined: 6/1/2010
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

How much bearing does it have on whether or not you choose to write to or reply to a person's email?



Well, I do wish more people would use the forums, to be honest. I like to feel that spark, like, "Hey, I dig their sense of humor," or something similar. It's hard to get that from a profile; some of them are so dry. If I can see we've got some common ground besides the kink, I'm all the more likely to be excited about replying.

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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 5:29:57 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		It's not important to me, although it can be really helpful. I don't really expect people to have the same online presence and rl demeanor though.

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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 5:38:38 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		i used to wish that id meet a guy who posted his thoughts and views because it would be kinda nice to see him around - but the trouble with me is im fiercely protective and if people started on him id fly in to his defence and probably offend everyone, so its probably best if he doesnt

im really bad for that - today i had to really hold myself back cos i saw this young long lanky guy being picked on by a group of bullies and the urge to fly in and tell them all to phuck off was overwhelming - i told myself it wouldnt do his flagging street cred any good having a woman dive in for him. 

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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 5:40:12 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Who says you cant? It happens here all the time. Haha I got modded when someone jumped you for typing/spelling and I snarked at them remember?

I think you have to accept that what happens here isn't real, or that would be an issue in a relationship.

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 5:51:10 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		It is not important.  What is important is that he has fulfilling real time life. 

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RE: Online presence...important or not? - 6/4/2010 6:02:54 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Totally unimportant to me, in fact I'm more comfortable with someone who cares nothing about forums. I use forums for myself, they are a place where I can say what I want to uncensored and with anonymity. He knows I use forums but not which ones nor does he really care which ones. His focus is on the outside world and me, which makes us both happy.

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