blueeyedbbwsub
Posts: 435
Joined: 12/9/2009
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Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.
On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too damn humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.
Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when i heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.
"Honey, The garbage disposal is dead again. Come and reset it." "You know where the button is," I protested through the shoer pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself."
"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon it'll only take a second."
So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behaviour as extremely cowardly.
Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It stuck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into the gnashing metal teeth...It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangly objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached unter the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodiy movements, blindly at a violently rateof speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was feeling straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me cold.
When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kithen floor butt naked in front of a group of "been there done that" paramedics. Even worse, having fully been briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as the tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter...and not succeeding.
Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally make it back to work at the office, were the colleagues tried to ozx an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.
"What's the matter?" They all asked. "Cat got your tongue"
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fuzzballed goondorker
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Cat's Toy Thing - Long but worth it - 
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RE: Cat's Toy Thing - Long but worth it - 
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