Real or ?

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looking4domme -> Real or ? (4/10/2006 6:42:26 PM)
I am finding it difficult to find someone I have chemistry with that is beyond appearance or casual play. In other words, finding someone to date, do things with and be in a D/s relationship. Anyone else having this problem?

SweetDommes -> RE: Real or ? (4/10/2006 7:11:38 PM)
Pretty much everyone who isn't just looking for a fling has this trouble - we did ... our boys both did ... most of our friends have ... most of the boys that we talked to still are ... It's a part of life that everyone has to go through, vanilla or otherwise - some people are just luckier than others when it comes to how long they had to look.

Real0ne -> RE: Real or ? (4/10/2006 7:48:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: looking4domme I am finding it difficult to find someone I have chemistry with that is beyond appearance or casual play. In other words, finding someone to date, do things with and be in a D/s relationship. Anyone else having this problem? you will be writing a lot of letters i am sure. granted there are thousands of people on here and you would think that there is thousands that you woudl be compatible with but often times you will look far and wide before someone first fits your boundaries and second you both have a connection and finally you can both get together as you may have to go outside of your locality to find someone good luck r1

sweetbbwsub31 -> RE: Real or ? (4/10/2006 7:49:23 PM)
Good things come to those who wait. Don't settle for anything less that the Domme you are looking for.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Real or ? (4/10/2006 7:58:22 PM)
As with a lot of things in life, you must give in order to recieve. If you want a smart, intelligent, articulate woman who will be interested in a real relationship, truly consider a major revamp of your profile. You must portray yourself as something desireable worth owning.17 words will just not do it. Also, add a picture. That will help a great deal. Fire

bignipples2share -> RE: Real or ? (4/11/2006 11:10:29 AM)
edited because my answer just sucked LOL

Proprietrix -> RE: Real or ? (4/11/2006 11:22:36 AM)
Try upping your profile. Some Dominant women left some good replies about profiles here: http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=321417

mnottertail -> RE: Real or ? (4/11/2006 12:00:08 PM)
Dear TexasMa'am, See above! I have been promoted to Dominant woman by fiat. See? Good things do come to those who wait, as one of my Dominant sisters said earlier. Ron

FLsubmalecd -> RE: Real or ? (4/12/2006 3:21:31 AM)
Good points made. But do Dominant women really write to a sub male if she finds him interesting? Or does she wait until he magically finds her to write to? Then the problem of geography comes into play. I can't find any Dommes in say a 100 mile radius of me. There's just to few Dommes. Then it seems the ones I do find are looking for a female sub or they are pros. And worse yet, just want to add to their stable of male subs. Now add that I am looking for more then just play, the field gets even narrower. It almost seems hopeless to find a Domme that wants love and devotion from jst one male sub.

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Real or ? (4/12/2006 6:45:03 AM)
quote: But do Dominant women really write to a sub male if she finds him interesting? Yes, we will. Some things I look for are a well rounded, thoughtful profile. I do look for there to be some specific information on there, like if they are single, a bit about what they are looking for. I'll look to see if they are compatable with what I seek. I'll be looking for something that "speaks" to me. I'll have a look at what they post in the forums. I'll even go up at events and start talking with subs ;-) However, I do expect the sub to meet me halfway if he is interested - he needs to do a little pursuing of his own to show me he's interested and willing to make the effort.

MichMasochist -> RE: Real or ? (4/13/2006 6:29:07 PM)
quote: I am finding it difficult to find someone I have chemistry with that is beyond appearance or casual play. In other words, finding someone to date, do things with and be in a D/s relationship. Anyone else having this problem? Well I have some bad news. It's only fantasy and this is reality. Good luck in your quest because ladies expecting some for of gift or payment is all I've ever found. quote: Good points made. But do Dominant women really write to a sub male if she finds him interesting? Or does she wait until he magically finds her to write to? Then the problem of geography comes into play. I can't find any Dommes in say a 100 mile radius of me. There's just to few Dommes. Then it seems the ones I do find are looking for a female sub or they are pros. And worse yet, just want to add to their stable of male subs. Now add that I am looking for more then just play, the field gets even narrower. It almost seems hopeless to find a Domme that wants love and devotion from jst one male sub. Most woman automatically take the traditionally submissive role when it comes to initiating social contact. Even the dommes. So you'll have to do the searching and writing. Often, you will even hafta top from the bottom should you get so lucky as to find someone.

MisPandora -> RE: Real or ? (4/13/2006 6:31:40 PM)
Where are you looking? Just on the internet that is riddled with wankers and players? Are you actually displaying your level of commitment by going out to events, BDSM groups and munches, showing interest and learning, and still running into the same thing?

MisPandora -> RE: Real or ? (4/13/2006 6:34:24 PM)
Yes we do write if we find something of interest. No, we don't wait. I don't wait for anyone or anything. I take initiative and go after what it is that I desire. I take it you've not socialized with many fem doms to presume that we'd just sit waiting like delicate little flowers for you boys?? quote: ORIGINAL: FLsubmalecd But do Dominant women really write to a sub male if she finds him interesting? Or does she wait until he magically finds her to write to?

Proprietrix -> RE: Real or ? (4/13/2006 6:46:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MichMasochist quote: I am finding it difficult to find someone I have chemistry with that is beyond appearance or casual play. In other words, finding someone to date, do things with and be in a D/s relationship. Anyone else having this problem? Well I have some bad news. It's only fantasy and this is reality. Good luck in your quest because ladies expecting some for of gift or payment is all I've ever found. Oh my gosh. Are you kidding? I think there's a pretty heavy consensus that the Dominant Ladies, who are searching, are absolutely looking for more than casual play. I don't know how the other ladies feel about the gift/money thing, but from what I've seen and feel, most of us are perfectly happy supporting ourselves financially and simply want a sub that can contribute to the household. I think that's normal in any shared household. No one should be free loading off the other(s). I never require gifts. Sure, gifts are nice, but lots of people give each other gifts even outside the lifestyle in familial and vanilla settings. (But then to me, a very nice gift is something that says "Hey I thought of you while I was out today Ma'am." not a friggin diamond ring or something. I consider a pack of cigarettes and a Diet Mountain Dew a wonderful gift.) For me, it's just a matter of waiting until the right one(s) come along who think above the waistline. It has nothing to do with money.

WyrdRich -> RE: Real or ? (4/13/2006 6:50:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: looking4domme In other words, finding someone to date, do things with and be in a D/s relationship. Anyone else having this problem? You've gotta get out there. Find a group within reach and GO. And then keep going. I know people who have had great success on-line but not many. Don't be afraid to put your desires on the table from the beginning. What's the point in finding a D/s relationship if it is just as barren of what you want as the last vanilla thing that didn't work? That isn't topping from the bottom, it's finding compatability. Good Luck and if it ain't right, RUN.

thetammyjo -> RE: Real or ? (4/13/2006 7:09:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FLsubmalecd Good points made. But do Dominant women really write to a sub male if she finds him interesting? Or does she wait until he magically finds her to write to? Then the problem of geography comes into play. I can't find any Dommes in say a 100 mile radius of me. There's just to few Dommes. Then it seems the ones I do find are looking for a female sub or they are pros. And worse yet, just want to add to their stable of male subs. Now add that I am looking for more then just play, the field gets even narrower. It almost seems hopeless to find a Domme that wants love and devotion from jst one male sub. I often write when I see an interesting profile or a picture I find attractive even if its just ot say "nice profile" or to offer a suggestion like if I lived in your area I'd want to know a bit more about you. But I never say that I am interested in someone if they are not within my general geographical area and currently I wouldn't even say that since I'm not actively looking. I just think a friendly "I saw your profile and its interesting" might make people feel a bit better about their day. So far I've gotten only friendly replies when I do that and no one has mistaken my notes to be interest in a relationship.

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