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How do you see yourself? - 6/5/2010 9:53:50 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Hello everyone,

CarrieO's recent thread on "online presence" got me thinking.

The following questions are kind of in line with what I'm asking, not specifically... just a sign to point the way.
How do you see your personality? Is it the same online as offline? Do you express yourself differently? Is there something you do differently here versus in real life, face to face meetings/discussions?

And yes, I'll begin.

I think I project a fairly accurate representation of who I am. I tend to be fairly positive. That is, I see many sides of a situation but I choose to focus on the positive (generally speaking). I think online I'm a bit more feisty than I am in real life. I tend to be more insecure in real life. Here, I think people see my intellect and my wit. I think I am more feminine and cutesy on line. In real life, I think people see mostly just my intellect and not my woman-ness, my flirtatious side. In real life I am kinder than I am online. I'm a bit more "suck it up" here than in real life. Of course when I say a bit, I mean the difference between 46% versus 48%.

The difference for me, is that I always have an underlying fear of being hit (in a bad way) in real life. I'm always just a bit on guard, and so I temper what I do and say so that I don't get hurt when I'm with strangers. Once I get to know someone well, I'm much more open and show my softer side more. On this website, there are a few people who actually have made me feel safe enough, comfortable enough, accepted enough to show my kind of sassy self without nasty repercussions. (You know who you are, and thank you)

Interestingly, for me, I feel like I show more of my inner self online. I mean seriously, who is going to hit me (in a bad way) here? I've been experimenting with being more assertive in real life - with mixed results. I also tend to be much more assertive in Spanish just because I don't know *how* to express myself more diplomatically. I kind of like that.

And what about you all? What differences are there in how you post and how you interact in real life? (If nothing else, you get the chance to edit and choose the right synonym!)

(sorry this was so long... didn't mean to go all A.A. testimonial on you)

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

Post #: 1

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/5/2010 9:59:13 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

I think I am pretty much the same. This tends to be a distillation of me but none the less, accurate.

I am an inconoclastic smart ass, with occasional moments of seriousness.

Not counting work, all bets are off about work.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 2

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/5/2010 10:00:36 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

That's really difficult to say because I'm not sure we really know how others view us. To me I am the same, but people that know me on both sides, might disagree. Then again, people send me emails commenting positively on my posts and it always suprises me. I don't think I really have much of an accurate viewpoint of how other people see me online at all.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 3

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/5/2010 10:08:52 PM

LittleBroken

Posts: 207
Status: offline

I'm a mess.
I'm a person who is trying to find her equilibrium after a devastating few months and failing.
Only one person on this site has seen what's behind the mask.
As to whether or not they were impressed remains to be seen.

< Message edited by LittleBroken -- 6/5/2010 10:10:08 PM >

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 4

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/5/2010 10:12:29 PM

lucylucy

Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline

I believe my online presence is one of someone who is not a very good listener, whereas I am a very good listener in real life. I find myself skimming posts online and often missing important details. I really miss the body language and intonaton of real life communication and those things help me listen. Without them, I have to tell myself to slow down and read every word.

I also rely heavily on body language and intonation in my own real life communication, and that stuff obviously doesn't come through in online forums, so I think online I come across as more blunt.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 5

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/5/2010 10:18:43 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I see myself as an average person, with my share of baggage to deal with. I try to be a good person, but I have enough failures at that that I sometimes have trouble believing that I am. I'm nothing special in teh grand scheme of things.

But.. I iz good to mah kittehs!

Edited: I believe that I am teh same online as offline.. but others would have to verify... ;)

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 6/5/2010 10:21:38 PM >

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to lucylucy)

Post #: 6

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/5/2010 10:31:46 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I think I am pretty much the same. This tends to be a distillation of me but none the less, accurate.

I am an inconoclastic smart ass, with occasional moments of seriousness.

Not counting work, all bets are off about work.

Oh don't even try it! Everyone knows you're not an anteater.

We haven't figured out what you are, but I'm pretty sure it's not an anteater...

Oh, and to answer the question, yes, my "voice" on here is a very accurate representation of me in real life.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 7

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/6/2010 2:42:47 AM

reynardfox

Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline

I am what you see me as. I will always say something that is either funny or positive to the people I meet, never serious, never nasty, never unpleasant. I would see just giving in to the mood of a negative situation as weakness.
Online I am eccentric, sex mad and very British in a Wodehouse kind of way.
In person I am eccentric, sex mad, and very British in a Wodehouse kind of way, and strangely attractive.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 8

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/6/2010 2:57:06 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

i believe i am the same person, i write as i think and feel and try to always be honest about all of that - but until im confident with a person it takes me a while to actually articulate my feelings and thoughts, whereas here i just spew away

- writing has always been my more fluent form of expression, but thats a confidence thing really - once im confident and comfy with a person im more able to express myself verbally.

general chit chat i can do all day, waffle on for hours about all kinds of whatever, but deep feelings or opinions i have to really dig deep down and force myself - i think its all about the focus being on me.

here the focus isnt on me, my opinions and thoughts can be skipped, ignored or blocked - i dont feel im imposing myself on anyone so i can 'say' things without really feeling im taking up anyones valuable time - .

to waffle on a bit more

- its been the Masters ive known and been with who have helped me so much - in fact theyve been amazing - just waiting for me to stumble out my thoughts and sometimes i trail off and they dont push it they just gently encourage and slowly but surely i get there.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 6/6/2010 2:58:21 AM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to reynardfox)

Post #: 9

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/6/2010 4:07:56 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

Hmm. How I am here is pretty accurate of how I am offline, but you all don't see the temper/moodiness that shows up on occasion.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 10

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/6/2010 5:26:42 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

CarrieO's recent thread on "online presence" got me thinking.

I'm glad I got someone thinking.

The following questions are kind of in line with what I'm asking, not specifically... just a sign to point the way.
How do you see your personality?

I'm an extroverted introvert who will talk with many people but only reveal my self to a select few...gregariously guarded.

Is it the same online as offline?

Online, I can sometimes sound stiff and clinical and rarely let my humor show, here atleast. Offline, I still have moments of stiffness but I try and temper them with my own brand of sarcasm and silliness. I also can be moody and have been know to have a bit of a temper...something I'm working very hard in letting go of. I still don't suffer fools lightly and have little patience for blantant stupidity. Hey, we all have a dark side...right? Right?

One thing that I think is visable both off and online is my desire to understand and help a person.

Online I don't share as much of my personal life as some folks do. Offline I think too much and, if I'm able to find a willing victim, I'll play verbal volleyball with those thoughts in order to understand them. Online, people don't really give a rat's behind if I have a lightbulb moment.

Do you express yourself differently?

Online you get the edit and delete buttons...thank goodness. You also get to turn off the computer and walk away.

Is there something you do differently here versus in real life, face to face meetings/discussions?

Meeting someone f2f, like out socially or at a party, usually allows me time to step back and observe them. Being in their physical space from the start let's me take in things like body language and the tone of their voice. Those things are lost online and it's easy for people to form impressions without actually knowing the person...much like judging a book by it's cover/offline versus judging a person by their literal representation in the form of a forum post or journal/online.

What differences are there in how you post and how you interact in real life?

Online, you can't see me smiling when I post

*edited because I'm lovin' that button!

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 6/6/2010 5:32:52 AM >

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 11

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/6/2010 6:11:10 AM

subrob1967

Posts: 4591
Joined: 9/13/2004
Status: offline

I come across as an uber conservative on here, but nothing could be further from the truth, if one takes the time to really reads my posts, they'll see I usually play the devil's advocate in political debate, and since there's so many liberals posting opinions, someone has to present the other side.

Reality is, I'm against all incumbents, both conservative & liberal, for gay marriage, don't care if you have, or don't have the right to to abort a baby, but call it what it is, could care less if pot is legal, and hate both political correctness and organized religion with a passion.

I'm actually an outgoing, fun loving, pretty cool guy, or so I've been told, whose mouth may get him onto trouble due to snarky comments from time to time, but whose charm usually diffuses the situation.

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 12

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/6/2010 6:19:08 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

I am very shy when I first meet someone in real life, but then once I'm comfortable, I'm exactly like I am here.
I'm happy and laughing 95% of the time. I'm sarcastic. I make inappropriate references to dirty things.
And I adore the man in real life maybe just a little more than I do here.

The only difference for me is that I'm much, much taller online...

_____________________________

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 13

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/6/2010 6:22:14 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

The only difference for me is that I'm much, much taller online...

Oh yes! Me too. And my hair is longer.

*eta: This reminds me of a gal I used to know. She went on a blind date with another woman. The funny thing was, the date says right off the bat, "I didn't tell you but I'm blind." My friend says, "that's ok. I'm gorgeous!"

*giggle.

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 6/6/2010 6:28:35 AM >

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 14

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/6/2010 6:24:28 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

Mine too!

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 15

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/6/2010 6:35:49 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

The following questions are kind of in line with what I'm asking, not specifically... just a sign to point the way.
How do you see your personality? Is it the same online as offline? Do you express yourself differently? Is there something you do differently here versus in real life, face to face meetings/discussions?

The same way offline as on except for a few things that haven't been displayed online.

Stand offish at first but once I get to know you (I mean "like" you..some of this stuff doesn't come out if I don't) fun loving, silly, abrasive, sarcastic, outspoken, affectionate(which I'm sure hasn't been seen much) generous, loving and all around a-holic at times. I'm sure I missed a few.

How others might see me? Depends on who you ask lol.

Oh and your welcome!

edited cause I forgot somethin..

< Message edited by Icarys -- 6/6/2010 6:59:44 AM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 16

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/6/2010 7:07:09 AM

SirLost

Posts: 142
Joined: 7/5/2009
Status: offline

I'm not half extravert my online presence is. The biggest difference between my real life personality and online presence is this. I am over excited when I'm presenting something in front of a crowd, no matter how much I know what I am talking about or I love the spotlights on me.

Even though I have started this Sir Lost account here for the things those could be related with an alter ego, I have spent so much time under this name that the Sir Lost persona turned into my own self: A kind, helpful, but yet arrogant young man.

_____________________________

The best respect is the one that's gained even after they learn your weaknesses.

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 17

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/6/2010 7:08:22 AM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline

Me, online presents something I cannot seem to do in real life, that being a shyness towards meeting people because of eye contact problems. Online has no eye contact, so I am free to be myself and on here and the various otherplaces I visit, With the meeting face to face removed, I am the same online as I am off.

As to the subjects that I seem to get interested in, I find online to be a better place to ask my questions, because those I know off line will not enter into anything where depth of thought is required, well, one does, but he being schizophrenic, sometimes it can have consequences, so I hold off now. On the whole those I know offline do not want to converse where depth is required, they just want to be ignorant and have fun, yet I need to question to work things out for myself, so online is my safety valve here, I can question and get response from a world stage.

As to my views, I hold many at one particular time or other, but they are subject to flux, as I believe everything is changing and with reasoned education everything can change along with that my views, so what is going on with me at a particular time, my views held are the questions I have yet to seek a satisfactory reasoned answer to.

So if any here have discerned in what I ask I am misguided, or anti whatever or even offensive in my questions, to they I will just say, in what I am asking, I am attempting to reason a satisfactory truth out of the reported facts. Basically to get to the bottom of things, the bottom that existed before media, politics and authority reinterpreted what suited itself.

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 18

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/6/2010 7:10:53 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I see myself as a doorman to the nuthouse.

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 19

RE: How do you see yourself? - 6/6/2010 7:21:10 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

I see myself as a doorman to the nuthouse.

That jacket your wearing is not one of a doorman..Now please take your meds and go back to your room.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 20

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