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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 8:29:35 AM   
DiurnalVampire


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Very often when a male crossdresses believably, then the assumption is that he is not straight because he is trying to look attractive as a woman. If he is straight, then he is looking for straight women who would want him as a man, which means dressing as a woman doesnt help him find people. If he is interested in bi women, he might get somewhere, and lesbians still arent going to be interested since he still has a penis regardless of the outfit. Therefore, by dressing attractively as a woman and going strictly by appearances the most attention the crossdresser is going to get will be from men. If they dress up in a manner that will be getting them attention from men, it isnt completely out of the realm of logic to think they might WANT that attention from men because of how they look. If they are looking for male attention, then erego they are interested in men, which means they are gay or bi.

This explination was given to me by a very good friend, who cross dresses. He is straight, but he knows people assume he is gay and he has no issue with it, for that reason above. He assumes he will either find a woman who loves him even if he can borrow her wardrobe, or he will eventually give it up and dress gender appropraite more often than he crosses.

DV

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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 8:42:48 AM   
pahunkboy


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Ok- dress sexy for the same sex- then get mad when the same sex finds you sexy and wants sex.


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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 11:10:28 AM   
Lucienne


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I think the opposite. But then when you say "cross-dresser" I don't think of the entire range of men who wear dresses. I think of cross-dressers as being mostly straight men who get sexually excited wearing women's panties or whatever. They mostly do it in private, so they're basically unrepresented in the public eye outside of Savage Love. Drag queens are drag queens, and yeah... most of them are gay. In between you have trans folk, who may be gay or straight, but mostly choose dress as an expression of gender identity rather than as a performance (drag) or kink (cross-dressers). In that middle space, you also have straight men who've figured out just how comfortable a skirt can be and who are comfortable flouting gender norms. Last, but not least, you have a world full of women running around dressed in pants and shirts just like men and the main difference is which side the buttons or zippers are on. 

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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 12:33:08 PM   
GotSteel


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Maybe because a lot of us don't know the difference between drag queens and cross dressers....

Also, all the threads on here by "straight" men who want to be "forced" to dress like a woman and suck cock makes it a little confusing.

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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 12:33:14 PM   
Aneirin


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I never quite understood this, but if it is that a male who wears women's clothes is called a cross dresser, what are women called when they wear male type clothing ?

Or is it a case of male type clothing is universal sexless clothing which then means women have a choice where men do not, hardly equality is it.

Personally I can see no reason why either should be restricted in what they wear, as what does it matter, at the end of the day clothing is clothing, it suits it's purpose.

As to men who wear female type clothing being suggested as gay, well it strikes me as the sort of saying a narrow minded individual might say because they plain fail to understand about the complexity of equality and diversity in people, or don't even want to venture thinking about it for reasons of their own.


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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 12:34:42 PM   
subtee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I never quite understood this, but if it is that a male who wears women's clothes is called a cross dresser, what are women called when they wear male type clothing ?



"dress crossers"

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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 12:38:38 PM   
divi


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tee your adorable.. still got your buzz on lol ?

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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 12:41:48 PM   
Vendaval


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Butch.

I agree with the comments about drag queens being highly visible in the media and most men who secretly cross dress keeping it undercover.


quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I never quite understood this, but if it is that a male who wears women's clothes is called a cross dresser, what are women called when they wear male type clothing ?



"dress crossers"


< Message edited by Vendaval -- 6/7/2010 12:43:05 PM >


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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 1:08:03 PM   
SocratesNot


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quote:

I think the opposite. But then when you say "cross-dresser" I don't think of the entire range of men who wear dresses. I think of cross-dressers as being mostly straight men who get sexually excited wearing women's panties or whatever. They mostly do it in private, so they're basically unrepresented in the public eye outside of Savage Love. Drag queens are drag queens, and yeah... most of them are gay. In between you have trans folk, who may be gay or straight, but mostly choose dress as an expression of gender identity rather than as a performance (drag) or kink (cross-dressers). In that middle space, you also have straight men who've figured out just how comfortable a skirt can be and who are comfortable flouting gender norms. Last, but not least, you have a world full of women running around dressed in pants and shirts just like men and the main difference is which side the buttons or zippers are on. 


I agree with Lucienne. Most of openly transsexual people, dragqueens and such are probably bi or gay. But those who cross-dress only in private and who never do any kind of gender bending in public are most likely straight. They don't want attention of men. They just cross dress because of the fetishes. Being dressed as a woman is sexy to them and turns them on. This is important. Fetishistic crossdressers are usually extremely turned on while they do it, because they are attracted to women, and seeing themselves as a women makes them attracted to themselves (highly narcissistic) , which causes their sexual arousal, which is the primary motive of their cross-dressing. They will never do it in public for many reasons - first they don't want anyone to assume they are gay or feminine or to attract men, because they simply aren't and don't want it, second - being dressed as a woman arouses them causing erections, and it would be extremely awkward and silly to be seen with erections in public

On the other hand, real transvestites and transsexuals are usually NOT turned on by being dressed as a woman at all. This is completely natural to them, and they really want to attract men, because they ARE feminine and most likely gay or bi. They are not aroused by being dressed as a woman, the same way biological women aren't aroused by being dressed as women.

To sum up - fetishistic crossdressers who do it just in private and who get aroused from it - are almost always straight.
Transsexuals and transvestites who cross-dress in public and who are not aroused by it  - are very likely gay or bi, but there is one certain percent of them who identify as lesbians.


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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 1:37:45 PM   
subtee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: divi

tee your adorable.. still got your buzz on lol ?


Haha, no. No buzz on tee.

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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 2:51:02 PM   
ShoreBound149


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quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

All I know is that males look at me more if I wear pink.  I live on a busy street and am out alot in the yard.


Are ya positive it ain't the dangling egg sack out the back door of your boi shorts when you're weeding the azaela bed thats got them staring?

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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 4:54:42 PM   
pahunkboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

All I know is that males look at me more if I wear pink.  I live on a busy street and am out alot in the yard.


Are ya positive it ain't the dangling egg sack out the back door of your boi shorts when you're weeding the azaela bed thats got them staring?



Maybe 2 of them looked actually at me.   but 26,000 cars a day pass my house.

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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 4:57:36 PM   
ShoreBound149


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quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

All I know is that males look at me more if I wear pink.  I live on a busy street and am out alot in the yard.


Are ya positive it ain't the dangling egg sack out the back door of your boi shorts when you're weeding the azaela bed thats got them staring?



Maybe 2 of them looked actually at me.   but 26,000 cars a day pass my house.



You livin in a toll booth on the PA turnpike?

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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 8:10:39 PM   
Sserpentia


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I knew a cross-dresser very, very well some years ago. This may not be EVERY cross-dresser's experience, but this was HIS experience:

For him, cross-dressing was about being female. Therefore, that meant experiencing everything female (being penetrated by a man). I need to state very firmly here, he always stated he was NOT GAY. In fact, this man had more girlfriends than any other man that I knew. But when he put on his dresses and make-up, he was a female. Therefore, if he was fucked by a man, that was a heterosexual interaction.

To be fair to him, he did not cross-dress often. Sometimes twice a year. And that's how he explained his mindset to me.

I believe everyone who has posted above, but I also believe what this man told me also. I think different people have different motives, and not everyone can be put into one, neat box.

Just thought i would throw that out there.

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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/7/2010 8:59:57 PM   
DCWoody


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Probably because 99% of men in womens clothing (excluding panto/dare/etc) are gay.

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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/8/2010 4:49:04 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DCWoody

Probably because 99% of men in womens clothing (excluding panto/dare/etc) are gay.


Your evidence for this?


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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/8/2010 4:52:37 AM   
DCWoody


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Obviously it was a ballpark figure rather than an exact survey...but, I'd be quite surprised if many people thought otherwise, if ya modify 'gay' to 'gay or bi'.

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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/8/2010 5:25:35 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DCWoody

Obviously it was a ballpark figure rather than an exact survey...but, I'd be quite surprised if many people thought otherwise, if ya modify 'gay' to 'gay or bi'.


99% is a 'ballpark figure'?

How many men who wear female clothing do you actually *know*?

Based on my own personal experience you are talking rubbish.


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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/8/2010 6:20:02 AM   
DCWoody


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Okay, perhaps I was wrong. Possibly also using the phrase 'ballpark figure' wrongly it seems, though wikipedia just redirects to the article on 'guesstimate', which is what I was getting at.

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RE: Why do most people think cross-dressers are gay? - 6/9/2010 9:04:11 AM   
Vendaval


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Did you take a survey to come to this conclusion?

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"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
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