aromanholiday -> RE: how does it feel..... (10/18/2011 6:31:46 PM)
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Terrifying, at times. Deeply lonely, at times. Needy, all the time. Joyous, when I please him. Extremely frustrating, sometimes. Never certain about my future. Always, a feeling of inferiority, feeling that he is far, far too good for me and baffled at why he keeps me around. I feel a sense of place, of alignment, and that feels right, but the place itself isn't exactly comfortable, nor is it meant to be, I don't think. Anyway, I like all of this, exactly as it is. This sort of experience meets my deeper needs. It's what I always, all my life, fantasized about, but found so hard to find in real life. And no, I'm not the least bit new at this, I've been doing it (slavery) for decades. But not with... Him. I love old threads: I feel cozy in them, like I am warming my hands before a fire.
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