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Positive coming out experience - 4/11/2006 2:41:37 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		My step-daughter has spent the past week in MN and Himself and I came 'out' to her this weekend. Himself wanted to 'prepare' her and bring things about a bit slowly so as not to shock her so began by just letting her know there was something which we wanted to share with her. Her first reaction was.. "Celeste is pregnant!" After we both picked ourselves off the floor and stopped laughing, we assured her that was not only impossible, but would be cause for life in the universe to end as we know it. ::chuckles:: She looked at us and said she already 'knew' what we were going to tell her. Himself responded with an "Oh really?" And she said, yes... she had known since she was in high school. This actually surprised us a bit so Himself asked her what she thought she knew. She replied.. "You're swingers, and I'm ok with it." lol So, for the second time we had to pick ourselves up off the floor and control our laughter. After assuring her that we were, in fact, sexually monogamous, we spilled the beans on the truth of our relationship by allowing her to read my profile. She read it, said she loves the leather shop Fair Villa and that was pretty much that. She thinks it's great, is a bit worried because she's had some inklings about doing some things which are on the Domme side with her own husband, but doesn't think he'll understand her desire for exploration.

It was very positive and it's nice to know that no matter which of the kids come to visit now, I don't have to spend two hours packing up our dungeon.

Anyone have positive experiences coming out to their adult children they'd like to share? If you have come out to your adult children, have any expressed an interest in discovering more about BDSM because of it?

Celeste



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Positive coming out experience - 4/11/2006 2:47:18 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Anyone have positive experiences coming out to their adult children they'd like to share? If you have come out to your adult children, have any expressed an interest in discovering more about BDSM because of it?


I've pretty much been open with my kids since day one.. but... Now that they are all grown they've started asking more specific questions. Which I answer openly and honestly. So now, I have a daughter that wants a voilet wand for Christmas and my two youngest (the youngest being 25) want floggers. lol
 
I think it's great that we can talk openly about it, it reassures me that they aren't going to just jump in and possible get hurt by doing things wrong. This way they have the voice of experience to come to when they don't know the right way to spank or suspend. I think it's great.

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Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Positive coming out experience - 4/11/2006 2:54:28 PM   
TxBadMan


Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
Status: offline 		Not sure if this would count as an actual 'coming out' but at Christmas, Tikk's parents came to spend the holidays with us. As they were getting ready to leave to go back home, her dad casually turned to me and 'advised" me that it might be a good idea to next time to make sure that we had all our toys put away.

_____________________________

Chris



(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Positive coming out experience - 4/11/2006 2:54:58 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		Ive come out to my adult children just so far as responding to why I am the way I am in relationship, have never really talked in bdsm lingo to them but rather just talked about loving to just do everything Master says, loving the role of a submissive woman, love seeing my partner as God etc etc.

They do know I have been involved in bdsm relationship before when I was *outed* in a court case. ...so they are probably filling in the gaps to what I have actually told them themselves.

_____________________________

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Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Positive coming out experience - 4/11/2006 3:08:11 PM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		My daughter has been aware of my activities in the lifestyle since she was 13 when I worked for PEP in the Albuquerque office.  When Nancy would descend upon the office and whisk all of us out to dinner, Christina would come with us.  and She'd come in and help stamp envelopes whenever we did a mailing, and she'd come in on weekends or after school soemtimes and help stamp envelopes whenever we did a big mailing to our client list.  I never did any calls while she was in the house, but she definitely knew what the crop was for <g>  In fact, she's the one who laced me into my first corset, when I went to one of the BDSM conferences.... she'd just watched Gone with the Wind, and she'd pull on the laces and yell "Suck it in!" and "Beauty knows no pain!" and the like. Sadistic little thing.  LOL.

No, the hard one to come out to was my mom.  She knew I worked for PEP, but she never inquired too closely what it was about.  Turned out she thought it was a phone sex service <sigh>  So when I started working for PEP again in January she wasn't really happy.  When I found out what she thought, I was quick to inform her what we do. She wasn't a whole lot happier <laugh>  So then I printed out my Lady Morgynn webpage (very similar to my profile here but more detailed) and gave it to her to read.  So then she told me that it "wasn't right" to have my slave sleep on the Aerobed at the foot of my bed <rolling eyes>  Anyway, so since then she's actually brought the subject up herself a few times, asking questions and we have nice long conversations.  She doesn't understand how people can like these things, and I know she really wishes I would just be "normal" but she's cool with it.  My poor mom!!!


_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Positive coming out experience - 4/11/2006 3:11:03 PM   
Moloch


Posts: 1090
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

My step-daughter has spent the past week in MN and Himself and I came 'out' to her this weekend. Himself wanted to 'prepare' her and bring things about a bit slowly so as not to shock her so began by just letting her know there was something which we wanted to share with her. Her first reaction was.. "Celeste is pregnant!" After we both picked ourselves off the floor and stopped laughing, we assured her that was not only impossible, but would be cause for life in the universe to end as we know it. ::chuckles:: She looked at us and said she already 'knew' what we were going to tell her. Himself responded with an "Oh really?" And she said, yes... she had known since she was in high school. This actually surprised us a bit so Himself asked her what she thought she knew. She replied.. "You're swingers, and I'm ok with it." lol So, for the second time we had to pick ourselves up off the floor and control our laughter. After assuring her that we were, in fact, sexually monogamous, we spilled the beans on the truth of our relationship by allowing her to read my profile. She read it, said she loves the leather shop Fair Villa and that was pretty much that. She thinks it's great, is a bit worried because she's had some inklings about doing some things which are on the Domme side with her own husband, but doesn't think he'll understand her desire for exploration.

It was very positive and it's nice to know that no matter which of the kids come to visit now, I don't have to spend two hours packing up our dungeon.

Anyone have positive experiences coming out to their adult children they'd like to share? If you have come out to your adult children, have any expressed an interest in discovering more about BDSM because of it?

Celeste




so you are saying you came out  just so you wouldnt have to clean the house? 

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Positive coming out experience - 4/11/2006 3:13:42 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:



so you are saying you came out  just so you wouldnt have to clean the house? 



Is there a better reason? ::chuckles:: Ok, confession, it was a 'bit' more than that, but that was a huge perk. :)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Moloch)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Positive coming out experience - 4/11/2006 3:42:49 PM   
enthralled


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Nashville, Tn
Status: offline
quote:

Anyone have positive experiences coming out to their adult children they'd like to share?


I came out to my kids about a year ago when my youngest turned 18. After thier dad and I split up, he filled thier heads with such bull that I felt it best to clarify myself and who I am.
They sat there listening patiently as I tried to explain it in my 'big girl matter of fact' tone  . . . not too detailed, yet trying not to leave too many gaps for them to fill in with thier own imagination.  I kept waiting for questions, comments, interuptions- anything! After I finished talking, they just looked at each other and said, "Ahhhhh. THAT explains it!!!!!", then laughed.
I also came out to my daughter (who is a lesbian) that I was bi. She first started jumping up and down screaming. I thought to myself 'Wow, this is NOT going to go well!'. When she finally calmed down she told me she just KNEW it and that I had just saved her a couple years of therapy (lol). And, my son now says maybe he gets his freakiness from his mom.
They were both so supportive that I cried! It touched my heart to know that they weren't ashamed of or embarassed by me. It was a most positive experience being able to talk to my kids about something so important to me and have them accept me as I am.
 
Thanks so much for starting this thread!
 
Respectfully,
enthralled

_____________________________

A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's.-Jean Paul Richter

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Positive coming out experience - 4/11/2006 4:27:54 PM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		My 18 yr old daughter is coming to visit us next week......she has no idea of the type of relationship we have or that her mother is bi. Reading these posts gives me hope that it's possible to have a kinky lifestyle without alienating the family (though I'd never tell my mother *shocked face* )

(in reply to enthralled)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Positive coming out experience - 4/11/2006 11:09:25 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Some of My nieces and nephews know a bit about the bisexual and kinky part.
But in terms of the older family members, I much prefer to not give anyone
a severe shock.  It just wouldn't do to have them swallow their dentures or
faint or start calling on the Lord to cleanse Me of demons while whacking
the evil spirits out of the sinful flesh with their canes. 
 
-Vendaval-

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rayne58
My 18 yr old daughter is coming to visit us next week......she has no idea of the type of relationship we have or that her mother is bi. Reading these posts gives me hope that it's possible to have a kinky lifestyle without alienating the family (though I'd never tell my mother *shocked face* )


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Rayne58)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Positive coming out experience - 4/12/2006 9:18:00 PM   
lolipop


Posts: 34
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline 		I don't have any children (yet), so the only people to tell are really my parents. The idea absolutely terrifies me - it was frightening enough telling my mom that I was bisexual. I suppose someday I will tell them, but not anytime soon.. hehe

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Positive coming out experience - 4/12/2006 9:29:58 PM   
dinaflower


Posts: 105
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Some of My nieces and nephews know a bit about the bisexual and kinky part.
But in terms of the older family members, I much prefer to not give anyone
a severe shock.  It just wouldn't do to have them swallow their dentures or
faint or start calling on the Lord to cleanse Me of demons while whacking
the evil spirits out of the sinful flesh with their canes. 
 
-Vendaval-



lmao i didnt tell my parents. my dad got curious as to what i was doing online so much and found my logs. OY! i thought i was dead! lol

(in reply to lolipop)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Positive coming out experience - 4/13/2006 9:50:37 AM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		FWIW, if the daughter wanting a violet wand gets one, and if you don't use them, feel free to contact me if you would like.  I would be happy to help you find a member of the International Violet Wand Guild in or near your area to help.  I can answer questions and guide by e-mail or chat but, the distance is a bit much for doing hands on.  Well, maybe a weekend thing but....
Saratov aka Sir Mark, Journeyman/Demonstrator(certified) I.V.W.G.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Positive coming out experience - 4/13/2006 10:53:49 AM   
Zensee


Posts: 1564
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		It's nice to hear a good news story amidst all the strife and conflict that is the usual forum fare, Celeste. Coming out is hard to do but as long as it is done respectfully and not in a confrontational manner the results usually seem quite liberating. Thank you for sharing this.

Z.


_____________________________

"Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water." (proverb)

(in reply to Saratov)
Profile   Post #: 14
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