RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (Full Version)

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Glasgow -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 8:03:19 AM)

quote:

I lack the evil streak

I'm fairly sure that most Doms aren't evil. Michael Myers was evil. There's a big difference.

quote:

Sometimes, BDSM is messy. For some it is mad chaos. It is unbridled passion and focused fury. For some, it is a concept so vast that it defies logic to try and neatly organize it into Power Point bulleted paragraphs.

I genuinely think that this is the point that seems to continually elude you, as you logically and systematically try to clean up and organize the concept of M/s and D/'s.

I agree. It's also struck me how systematic you make all this. Obviously you've been here longer than I, and have thought about the concepts more. Perhaps you should lessen your standards and find a relationship to find some of this out for yourself.

quote:

First I'd like to find a curious and inexperienced switchy girl with whom I could slowly, easily and safely explore the dynamic and other aspects of BDSM, without any hurrying.

To me, it seems like you're afraid of doing things wrong (which is why you want an inexperienced girl, who would also not know the "correct" way of doing things). Don't worry so much. Think about how odd it would be if you were a Dom, and said, "Wait! Sorry, that was 40% of what you enjoy. Now we're going to start doing 60% of what you need!" It isn't formulaic. I believe that most of this is based off of tradition, instinct, and experience.

quote:

Almost as unimaginable as type D. This would mean that I am focused only on myself = quite selfish, isn't it?

I found that the #1 reason vanilla relationships did not work for me was because my partner was always quite worried about what I wanted. It was exhausting. As a neophyte slave, I eagerly look forward to the day when selfish commands are thrown at me with no concern for what I want.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 8:09:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

So as a Master, I would treat my slave around 40% in Type A way, and 60% in type B way.



i'm just wondering, in other threads you talk about being a submissive male to a Mistress. Are you serious about BDSM at all?


His profile lists him as a switch.

Are switches less serious about BDSM?


Elisabella,
i don't think the implication was that switches are less serious about BDSM.  i am going to assume that you are a switch, and so you took the comment personally.  But if you are familiar with SocratesNot's posts, you must realize that he leaves many of us confused.  His constant posts leave many of us confused, as some of his questions seem to contradict one another.

i commend you for defending switches.  However, SN doesn't really qualify as a "switch", since he has no actual experience as a Dom, and no actual experience as a sub.  He just has an unquenchable curiosity about all things kinky, and he expects us to feed his hunger.  His problem is not that he is a switch, his problem is that he lives his BDSM life vicariously through us.

Many have encouraged him to log off the computer and go to a munch so he can actually put his fantasies into practice.  But he apparently believes that asking endless questions about it on-line is far more rewarding than getting out and finding a play partner.

Moreover, he has an apparent need to place all aspects of BDSM into neat, logical, boxes that have very specific parameters.  He fails to understand that human behavior (and expecially human sexuality) is seldom neat, clean, or logical.  So he keeps trying to force BDSM into his logical construct.



Jeffff -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 8:12:51 AM)

There are 2 types of people in this world.

Those that believe there are 2 types of people,  

An those who don't.



UniqueRaven -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 8:19:36 AM)

Thank you Rochsub, that's exactly what i was getting at.

Sometimes you just have to do things, and they are messy, and they don't fit in neat little boxes.

But that's the joy in life - experiences. i can't picture lying on my deathbed and being fulfilled for all the time i spent online discussing hypotheticals - as fun as you all are. i'm going to be fulfilled for remembering the experiences i have had with those that i have loved, and still love, and those i will love in the future.


hijack over.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 8:22:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

There are 2 types of people in this world.

Those that believe there are 2 types of people,  

An those who don't.


See, I thought it was:

There are 10 types of people in the world.

Those that count in binary

And those that don't.

Guess which one I am?! [:D]



Missokyst -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 8:29:52 AM)

I am someone who thinks stuff to death. However, that is always after I have done them, in a post event wrap-up sort of way. No part of me could imagine weighing the pro's and con's of things before I ever try it. One.. I am agorophobic and if I had to think about it first, it would not happen. And two.. what is the point? Without experience I would have nothing to measure against.
OP you need to walk out the door and live life. Don't just read about it and question why.


quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

Sometimes you just have to do things, and they are messy, and they don't fit in neat little boxes.

But that's the joy in life - experiences. i can't picture lying on my deathbed and being fulfilled for all the time i spent online discussing hypotheticals -



SocratesNot -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 8:30:21 AM)

The only reasons why I'm so much into theory are:
a) no munches in Bosnia
b) not very many kinky people online in Bosnia with profiles
c) even less such people that are compatible with me (which is straight or bisexual women, not in a relationship, kinky, and in age range 18-30)
d) not so easy and simple to relocate in another country (for example UK or US)
e) even if a, b, c, and d were not true I need to think and understand what I am getting into before actually trying to do it.



SocratesNot -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 8:33:44 AM)

And

f) oh, yes - in my profile you can read: Lives for: Intellectual discourse

This applies to all areas of my interest not only BDSM.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 8:36:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot

f) oh, yes - in my profile you can read: Lives for: Intellectual discourse



If your interactions on this board are what you consider intellectual discourse then I feel genuinely sorry for you.



UniqueRaven -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 8:37:07 AM)

SocratesNot, those are just excuses. People make excuses the world over for not getting out and meeting others for everything from BDSM to bowling.

i can see what you're getting at with "there are no munches and few kinky people in Bosnia" - because you want those people identified and categorized before you're even willing to go put your hand out and meet them. You want to meet a girl and see the label "potential Mistress/Domme/sub/slave" on her forehead. But it just doesn't work like that - even people that label themselves as such often are not what they appear.

i know lots of men who get out and date "vanilla" girls and when they bring up their desires and needs to spank her or tie her up - ta dah - a submissive woman. Everyone starts somewhere, and most don't start on the net.

Get out and create your own community - and circle of friends - and hang out and talk and share and just have some fun for heaven's sake. i started in this when i was 33 - i would have loved to have started at your age.




SocratesNot -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 9:01:36 AM)

UniqueRaven, time works for me. I hope I will have some experiences, and you are right, there is no one to be blamed than myself.
So, I gotta go out and try some things, yes, you're right. I'll try to do the stuff, even if it's not so easy.



leadership527 -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 10:19:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow
As a neophyte slave, I eagerly look forward to the day when selfish commands are thrown at me with no concern for what I want.


It never ceases to amaze me that there are people who insist that they will thrive in a relationship which is totally one sided. People who will deliberately seek out a partner who is selfish and uncaring. I always like to give the benefit of the doubt so I'll go ahead and wish you luck in your endeavors. God knows you will find plenty of masters willing to oblige you in this. I'll be fascinated to read your posts a year from now though and see if your viewpoints have changed.



osf -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 10:33:10 AM)

Do unto slaves as they would have you do unto them

The trick is finding slave you want to do unto.



osf -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 10:39:11 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

quote:

I lack the evil streak

I'm fairly sure that most Doms aren't evil. Michael Myers was evil. There's a big difference.

quote:

Sometimes, BDSM is messy. For some it is mad chaos. It is unbridled passion and focused fury. For some, it is a concept so vast that it defies logic to try and neatly organize it into Power Point bulleted paragraphs.

I genuinely think that this is the point that seems to continually elude you, as you logically and systematically try to clean up and organize the concept of M/s and D/'s.

I agree. It's also struck me how systematic you make all this. Obviously you've been here longer than I, and have thought about the concepts more. Perhaps you should lessen your standards and find a relationship to find some of this out for yourself.

quote:

First I'd like to find a curious and inexperienced switchy girl with whom I could slowly, easily and safely explore the dynamic and other aspects of BDSM, without any hurrying.

To me, it seems like you're afraid of doing things wrong (which is why you want an inexperienced girl, who would also not know the "correct" way of doing things). Don't worry so much. Think about how odd it would be if you were a Dom, and said, "Wait! Sorry, that was 40% of what you enjoy. Now we're going to start doing 60% of what you need!" It isn't formulaic. I believe that most of this is based off of tradition, instinct, and experience.

quote:

Almost as unimaginable as type D. This would mean that I am focused only on myself = quite selfish, isn't it?

I found that the #1 reason vanilla relationships did not work for me was because my partner was always quite worried about what I wanted. It was exhausting. As a neophyte slave, I eagerly look forward to the day when selfish commands are thrown at me with no concern for what I want.


quote:


I found that the #1 reason vanilla relationships did not work for me was because my partner was always quite worried about what I wanted. It was exhausting. As a neophyte slave, I eagerly look forward to the day when selfish commands are thrown at me with no concern for what I want.



The trick is to keep the fantasy alive while dealing with the underlying reality and not let the slave realize what is happening.







WestBaySlave -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 12:03:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
Slaves, in which way you prefer to be treated, something like Type A, or Type B?


As others have pointed out, there is a large variety of other options here. However, taking these two as all that's on offer, A, every time, over B.

I am not seeking a relationship to become a better person. If that happens, great, but I'm in this to get my emotional needs met and form a relationship with someone. Elements of companionship, emotional and sexual intimacy, and so forth, rank far higher than self-improvement. Regardless of which is better for me, I'm seeking a lover, not a life-coach.





SocratesNot -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 12:27:21 PM)

quote:

I'm seeking a lover, not a life-coach.

I'd be a terrible Master for you.

As a Master, I'd try to be both things to my girl.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 3:04:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow
As a neophyte slave, I eagerly look forward to the day when selfish commands are thrown at me with no concern for what I want.


It never ceases to amaze me that there are people who insist that they will thrive in a relationship which is totally one sided. People who will deliberately seek out a partner who is selfish and uncaring. I always like to give the benefit of the doubt so I'll go ahead and wish you luck in your endeavors. God knows you will find plenty of masters willing to oblige you in this. I'll be fascinated to read your posts a year from now though and see if your viewpoints have changed.



i agree completely.  i identify as a sub, but i am not the least bit interested in Domme's who are selfish and uncaring.  That gets old FAST. 

i think he needs to remember that BDSM relationships are still relationships.  Not many relationships thrive when one party is selfish and uncaring.

i've dated demanding Dommes, but they still cared about my wants, needs, and well-being. 



littlewonder -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 5:02:20 PM)

Dude, start doing and stop thinking!

Seriously, get off this website and get out there and meet a few girls. Who cares if they're submissive/dom/switch/vanilla, etc...

Just get out there and experience life. Stop putting yourself and them in boxes.

Fuck em, love em, stay with em, leave em, whatever.

Just enjoy them.

It will be a learning experience for you. Reading and posting here isn't a learning experience.



Elisabella -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 5:30:56 PM)

-FR-

Why does everyone care so much if SN works out what's in his head on the boards? He's talking about abstract concepts, not asking for help finding a girl.

You know, there were times in my life when I was proactively avoiding being in a relationship because I had a lot to work out in my head, about my last breakup or about my situation in life etc. For the record I'm married now, so I'm not some total relationship tard, but sometimes a person really doesn't want to go out and look for a partner until they feel confident in what they are looking for and what they have to offer.

I don't get the vitriol here at all, the whole "gtfo and get laid" thing, he's a young man. There's practically a whole genre of literature called "Young man overanalyzes girls and relationships" and nobody's forcing anyone to read.



VideoAdminZeta -> RE: 2 types of treatment of slaves - both in their best interest (6/10/2010 5:38:26 PM)

~ general reply to the thread so far ~

I lost track of the number of different hijacks that have already taken place in two pages.

Please speak to the thread topic, or post on another thread.

If a user makes your teeth grind, you can always hide that person's posts.



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