RE: A refined mind..

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UniqueRaven -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/12/2010 5:42:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear Most interesting, what are your driving and weapons skills like though. Can you drive out of an ambush or get rid of a pesky tail and could you without hesitation, drop a male with one swift hard kick to his nuts whilst having a charming conversation on the phone?... Just asking.. Driving, very good, weapons, not as good, even though i was on the pistol team in college years ago. i am a yoga teacher, and i'm very peaceful in nature....even though i also am very mentally and physically strong. i'm not sure about the kick to the nuts whilst having a charming phone conversation.....but i can rappel down a mountainside, saddle and ride a horse, scuba dive, and shoot a rifle - do any of those count? Hee hee! A "special forces" slave - i'm loving it. [:D]

sweetsub1957 -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/12/2010 5:43:02 PM)
~Fast Reply~ i'm not a Master, but the One i'm with likes that i'm intelligent and obedient, as well as knowledgable & talented in a number of things. He's told me my intelligence and my obedience appeal to Him. i share His same profession also. Some may like blank, mindless s-types, but Some like s-types They can hold intelligent, stimulating conversations with, as well as being stimulated in other ways. [;)] ~sweetsub~

Jeffff -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/12/2010 6:49:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149 quote: ORIGINAL: an0en What would make a slave or submissive more appealing? If her head doubled as a coaster that held a beer and kept it cold while I was a reading a book with my cock in her mouth on the deck. It's hard to argue with that. It would be a big help of her liver were a match. It's always good to plan ahead.

Glasgow -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/12/2010 7:54:24 PM)
Not a master, but-- People are interesting when they are speaking of things that interest them. You can really see the passion in someone when you hit upon a subject that they're invested in. I would want a slave that is educated about many subjects (as we all generally are). Preferably, I would want them to know about subjects that I myself don't know about. Nothing is more boring than having a clone of yourself. Although... that would kinda be hot. If I had a clone of myself, I would make out with it.

aldompdx -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/13/2010 12:03:05 AM)
Some controllers seek a partner to objectify. Sharing intellectual intimacy and connection is contrary to their desire. Other controllers want an interaction in which their partner shares as much evolvement, excellence, and wisdom as possible.

NorthernGent -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/13/2010 3:13:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: an0en This may be a strange question, but as I have no master to ask, I figured that I would post it here. A friend and I got into a discussion the other day regarding "Refined and Educated" submissive and slaves. My friend is of the opinion all any Master wants is an obedient mindless servant. I don't share this opinion at all. I would like to think that some do value their slaves or submissive for their minds. So we got to thinking, if you are the type of Master that values intelligence and knowledge what topics would you like your submissive or slave educated in? These might be things not taught in your run o' the mill public school. Such as an in depth knowledge of art or music, formal etiquette.. so on so forth.. What would make a slave or submissive more appealing? Cooking.......creative with the use of language......a knowledge of history would be useful.....as would an interest in political philosophy...... I'm sure there are people who want a woman to simply do chores.....take orders etc. It's really dependent upon the value you place upon conversation with your partner.

Focus50 -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/13/2010 4:18:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I've met a great many men who don't like intelligent women to partner with. They do prefer someone dumber and more malleable. I'm not compatible with men like that, and I make it obvious that I don't respect them. The Man is glad I'm so smart. It's a resource to be exploited, as is my ability to cook and other things. He knows that if I have a huge qualm about some idea of his, it's usually a sign that he needs to rethink it. By doing so, and measuring twice, he only has to cut once. Without any intelligent backup people will fuck up mightily upon occasion. This is the problem with what the OP asked.... It starts off "refined and educated" vs her friend's "obedient mindless servant" - neither of which I'd relate to that well. And then it gets onto "intelligence", which can be a very different animal to "refined and educated". I'm reasonably intelligent (and annoyingly practical) and of course I'd want a partner/slave who can hold a conversation when that need arises. But when I hear (ok, read) "refined and educated", I'm thinking Kelsey Grammar's 'Frasier' and, obedient slave or not, the female version of that sooooooo isn't someone I can see myself relating to.... Focus.

IronBear -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/13/2010 4:38:21 AM)
I'd say you'd have a much larger gene pool to choose from mate than I would. Most of the sub/slaves I see about me fit into the "take no shit but will love you and be loyal" working class girls. Such people in or out of kink are still the salt of the earth.

IronBear -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/13/2010 4:39:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear Most interesting, what are your driving and weapons skills like though. Can you drive out of an ambush or get rid of a pesky tail and could you without hesitation, drop a male with one swift hard kick to his nuts whilst having a charming conversation on the phone?... Just asking.. Driving, very good, weapons, not as good, even though i was on the pistol team in college years ago. i am a yoga teacher, and i'm very peaceful in nature....even though i also am very mentally and physically strong. i'm not sure about the kick to the nuts whilst having a charming phone conversation.....but i can rappel down a mountainside, saddle and ride a horse, scuba dive, and shoot a rifle - do any of those count? Hee hee! A "special forces" slave - i'm loving it. [:D] You'll do me lass and cute too which is always handy. [:D]

CarrieO -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/13/2010 6:53:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: an0en if you are the type of Master that values intelligence and knowledge what topics would you like your submissive or slave educated in? These might be things not taught in your run o' the mill public school. Such as an in depth knowledge of art or music, formal etiquette.. so on so forth.. What would make a slave or submissive more appealing? Throwing my opinion in here as yet another "not a master"..... Refined; free from coarseness, vulgarity and impurities. Being polite and mannerly with discriminating taste and knowledge as a result of development and/or education. Educated; Being based upon a certain amount of experience, schooling or training. Having or exhibiting a cultured and/or educated manner. I offer these definitions, which are drawn from and based on various sources, as a way to explain my answer for this topic from my perspective as a switch. Both refinment and education are huge turn-ons for me. On the s-side, the idea of serving a man (or a woman in a non-sexual way) who is pleased by protocol that would require me to understand and exhibit etiquette, grace, style and a sense of formality to my service is part of what drew me to D/s in the first place. To that end, I spent many years learning how best to present this aspect of myself not just in the context of D/s but also within my work life. I'll admit, I've let this side slide a bit...somthing I'm not proud of but hope by admitting will re-enforce the desire to start again. I'm very attracted to a dominant man who sees this potential in a partner and encourages it for the pleasure of both of us. On the D-side, which is something I've only recently (within the past couple of years or so) begun to explore, one of the first things I expect of a partner is proper manners and etiquette. Many times this has meant that I would offer a copy of an Emily Post book on Etiquette as a base point or send a list of reading material for him to choose from if manners were really that much of an issue...you would be surprised how many people either didn't have early education in this area or have forgotten the majority of it. An educated man is an interesting man. This doesn't always have to come in the form of a diploma on the wall or decades spent in the halls of higher learning. What it does mean is that he spent the time bettering himself, not just for a prospective partner but because he values refining who he is as person and sees it as an opportunity for growth. DarkSteven made a wonderful post that I feel should be bumped up... quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven There's no universal answer to that one. For me, I want a sub that is able to do housework and some chores around the house, so she needs to know that. I want one that can see situations differently than I and make suggestions, so a non-engineering background is good too. Note that if she is not trained in anything I want, it's my responsibility to see that she does get educated there. No real Dom would expect a fully-trained s type who is perfectly trained for him right out of the box. The desire for both praticality and submission with a sense of individuality (which is how I read the first part of his response) makes complete sense to me. As to the bolded portion, this is why I would offer the book of etiquette or explore other opportunities to educate a person in the ways I would expect to be served...and visa versa from a D if I'm on the s-side. A person may have a complete understanding in the art of serving a formal tea but if I need him (or he needs me...depending on which side) to give me a deep tissue massage and he has no clue how, it falls to me as the commited D partner to see that he gets the opportunity of proper training. To answer the OP's final question on what would make a submissive more appealing to me, the answer would be two things. One, the desire to please me...and two, the ability to do what is necessary to learn how to please me. Well, that was a bit of a ramble... [;)]

UniqueRaven -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/13/2010 8:24:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven Driving, very good, weapons, not as good, even though i was on the pistol team in college years ago. i am a yoga teacher, and i'm very peaceful in nature....even though i also am very mentally and physically strong. i'm not sure about the kick to the nuts whilst having a charming phone conversation.....but i can rappel down a mountainside, saddle and ride a horse, scuba dive, and shoot a rifle - do any of those count? Hee hee! A "special forces" slave - i'm loving it. [:D] You'll do me lass and cute too which is always handy. [:D] Aw, thank you Bear.....blushes.... i can also organize a cocktail party, attend a CEO level Black Tie gala, discuss CDOs, select fine art, cook beef wellington and mix a mean martini.....hee hee! Seriously, my point with all this is that i think it's much more important to be well-rounded and a social chameleon as a slave - adapting to the audience and the circumstances. i think if i insisted on only being "refined and educated" or anything else, i have lost the core reality of what is servitude - which is service focused on the pleasure of the Owner - and any audience he may choose for me to serve as well - not the slave (in my world, anyway). i do gain pleasure from the act of service, and from being pleasing, and sometimes from the act itself, but those are not the core reasons for my being a slave.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/13/2010 2:27:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: an0en This may be a strange question, but as I have no master to ask, I figured that I would post it here. A friend and I got into a discussion the other day regarding "Refined and Educated" submissive and slaves. My friend is of the opinion all any Master wants is an obedient mindless servant. Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one, and sometimes they stink. Very few statements that purport to describe all (insert gender, sexual orientation, race, religion or social class here) are tremendously accurate, and this one is probably less accurate than most. In my poly family, all of us are in some form of science or academia, and all of us could be safely identified as uber-geeks, nerds, intellectuals, well educated, and generally smart cookies. None of us would be interested in being in a relationship with someone who couldn't handle an average family conversation, which has been known to bounce from cryptography to biotoxicology to arguing the merits of D&D 4.0 versus the new World of Darkness gaming system to the physics of superheroes. Nerd pride FTW. We have it, and none of us are likely to date outside the tribe. Eventually the whip arm gets tired, and you need to actually have a conversation with another adult. If said conversation isn't very entertaining or intellectually stimulating, the whipping part is likely to lose its charm as well after the initial novelty's worn off. So aside from the D/s orientation, which is certainly important as well, we only date other nerds. D/s isn't really a long term or sustainable substitute for the standard principles of compatibility and communication that drive basic human relationships. If you're not compatible and can't communicate, it's likely to be a problem sooner rather than later. Not to say that it's a problem that can't be worked around, but most people do prefer to be able to have those things with their partners in a D/s or M/s relationship.

reynardfox -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/13/2010 4:52:34 PM)
Your friend clearly knows no dominants. Why the fuck would any self respecting Dom want to associate with a moron? There are very few people here who are ineducated from either stripe. Most submissives are avid readers, which in itself shows a refined mind in a world full of illiterates, one of the girls we play with has a PHD, the only think I have that could be described as such is a Pretty Hard Dick.

IronBear -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/13/2010 5:41:35 PM)
Y'know rf, you worry me, your actually starting to grow on me. Now sure if I should see what germinates or have surgery top remove it. I do have to say, that your post is probably the best down to earth and back to the crèche I've read, thank you. Educated Minds has been well covered but now refined minds.. Hmmmm I cant help wonder if my still would refine a mind (or pickle it) or if the mind needs be tossed into my backyard cupola and the blast furnace lit up to refine it ... Have to broods on this for a decade or so.

IronBear -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/13/2010 5:50:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear quote: ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven Driving, very good, weapons, not as good, even though i was on the pistol team in college years ago. i am a yoga teacher, and i'm very peaceful in nature....even though i also am very mentally and physically strong. i'm not sure about the kick to the nuts whilst having a charming phone conversation.....but i can rappel down a mountainside, saddle and ride a horse, scuba dive, and shoot a rifle - do any of those count? Hee hee! A "special forces" slave - i'm loving it. [:D] You'll do me lass and cute too which is always handy. [:D] Aw, thank you Bear.....blushes.... i can also organize a cocktail party, attend a CEO level Black Tie gala, discuss CDOs, select fine art, cook beef wellington and mix a mean martini.....hee hee! Seriously, my point with all this is that i think it's much more important to be well-rounded and a social chameleon as a slave - adapting to the audience and the circumstances. i think if i insisted on only being "refined and educated" or anything else, i have lost the core reality of what is servitude - which is service focused on the pleasure of the Owner - and any audience he may choose for me to serve as well - not the slave (in my world, anyway). i do gain pleasure from the act of service, and from being pleasing, and sometimes from the act itself, but those are not the core reasons for my being a slave. Lass thank you doubly for such an enjoyable reply and what has been iun effect a wonderful CV, and for defining so elequently what I find as an ideal slave for me. IN a different time/place/situation i would surely want to snaffle you for my own or at least clone you. From Formal State functions, to Dinner at the White House and even Buckingham Palace you would not fail to do me proud as my Aid d'Comp. and yet would equally fit in with the ordinary garden variety of Aussie friends and family without making them feel uncomfortable. I may have to have a shotgun handy to keep a few friends from wanting to get too familiar though VWEG. In all seriousness though, we are in accord with these matters. I do thank you for opening up as much and even entgering into the spirit of my original posting.

Hekatonkheires -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/14/2010 6:34:56 PM)
A slave or submissive would express - and maintain - a passion to learn. Where she is when she introduces herself is not so important as where she is capable of going. Desire and will mean more than aptitude and background.

JhonDean -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/16/2010 6:10:31 AM)
quote: what are your driving and weapons skills like though. Can you drive out of an ambush or get rid of a pesky tail and could you without hesitation, drop a male with one swift hard kick to his nuts whilst having a charming conversation on the phone?... Often as I read your commentary, it is as if you have triggered a reference frame, my mind races to an earlier time.

IronBear -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/16/2010 7:26:10 AM)
This happens especially for those who have been there, done that and are one of the band of brothers Shakespeare spoke about in his St Crispans Day's Soliloquy

Jeffff -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/16/2010 7:28:54 AM)
What's he that wishes so? My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin; If we are mark'd to die, we are enow To do our country loss; and if to live, The fewer men, the greater share of honour. God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more. By Jove, I am not covetous for gold, Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost; It yearns me not if men my garments wear; Such outward things dwell not in my desires. But if it be a sin to covet honour, I am the most offending soul alive. No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England. God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour As one man more methinks would share from me For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more! Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host, That he which hath no stomach to this fight, Let him depart; his passport shall be made, And crowns for convoy put into his purse; We would not die in that man's company That fears his fellowship to die with us. This day is call'd the feast of Crispian. He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd, And rouse him at the name of Crispian. He that shall live this day, and see old age, Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.' Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars, And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.' Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot, But he'll remember, with advantages, What feats he did that day. Then shall our names, Familiar in his mouth as household words- Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter, Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester- Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red. This story shall the good man teach his son; And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by, From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remembered- We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition; And gentlemen in England now-a-bed Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

juliaoceania -> RE: A refined mind.. (6/16/2010 7:32:50 AM)
If a man wasn't interested in my mind, he wouldn't get anything out of me... In fact both of my former dominants made me use my mind, sometimes more than I wanted to

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