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eroticangel -> a question (4/12/2006 7:30:13 AM)
I have been involved for 15 years in the lifestyle...and right now i am experiencing something for the first time. Training...i have met a Master and he is training me...all His training is focused on stretching my limits...we have met once real life and it was an awesome meeting. Now He is continuing to train me online and He is really pushing me. i have never experienced anything like this...is it a normal occurance?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: a question (4/12/2006 7:31:53 AM)
It's not normal for you, since you've never done it before. It's normal for people who do it a lot. What matters is that you are ok and happy with the situation. I might worry if he has a fetish on stretching limits to the point of ignoring actual relationship growth, but in general, it sounds common to me.

DelRey -> RE: a question (4/12/2006 2:04:10 PM)
I love when someone asks "IS IT NORMAL ?" on a Kink board, where the only thing that may be normal is the power trips that the MODS have. IMHO Training is normal if you have a real master on your hands. Every Master needs to Train his pet to his/her satisfaction. You have stated you have been in the lifestyle for 15 years but it's still about the relationship and training you to live up to his wants and needs. In your past lifestyle relationships you may not have labled it training but I can guarantee training was a part of all of them. D.R.

Arpig -> RE: a question (4/12/2006 3:06:09 PM)
Normal?...not by half, none of what we do is "normal" Common?...Yes Unheard of?....No As far as I am concerned limits are like rules, they are there to be tested and pushed, the limits of both parties (yes dominants do have limits as well). Part of the purpose of this pushing is to find where the real limits are as opposed to those that one has out of embarassment, or just cultural inhibitions. The other part is that it is fun, sort of an adult version of the old Truth or Dare game.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: a question (4/12/2006 3:22:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig As far as I am concerned limits are like rules, they are there to be tested and pushed, the limits of both parties (yes dominants do have limits as well). Part of the purpose of this pushing is to find where the real limits are as opposed to those that one has out of embarassment, or just cultural inhibitions. The other part is that it is fun, sort of an adult version of the old Truth or Dare game. See I don't find that fun at all. I figure we're adults and if we can choose to get into this sorts of situations, we should be able to express honestly what we feel are our limits and why they are. If someone has a limit "because I just don't think I can go there mentally" that's fine- let me know. We can work on them over time if we want or not, and explore where we feel is good to explore. If I'm talking to someone and get the idea that they ARE playing that coy/confused/holding back to see if I can make them do it game...I just walk away. And if someone agrees to obey a rule- then they obey it. If not, they face the consequences. My life isn't about pushing limits- it's simply about living. Pushing limits just happens to be what goes on while you're busy living.

Sensualips -> RE: a question (4/12/2006 3:39:25 PM)
I like support if I have an area I am intrigued by, but reluctant for some reason. That could be considered limit testing, I suppose. I sometimes need prodding, either in the form of a challenge or reassurance. I am aware of this though. But I don't like when someone finds a dislike or limit and immediately wants to do that exact thing, in the name of growth or "you just haven't tried it the way I do it" or some such thing. In fact, it immediately makes me more resistant. If the focus is on a specific activity, then I think it detracts from everything else involved. This is as a top or bottom. I know I did not address the OP, but I am not familiar with online training or even sure exactly what is meant by the pushing and stretching. But hey, sounds normal enough to me.

mnottertail -> RE: a question (4/12/2006 7:37:24 PM)
At the expense of repeating myself, I will reiterate a basic notion of life. If we were normal, do you think we would be hanging out with you abnormal motherfuckers? LOL, Ron

Lordandmaster -> RE: a question (4/12/2006 7:38:50 PM)
Laugh.

VikingHouse -> RE: a question (4/12/2006 9:59:16 PM)
heheheheeheeee, Hexactly!

LoganStrange -> RE: a question (4/13/2006 7:41:29 PM)
Training? the real question is training for what? is it just to test your limits, or expand them? and if so, why? does he have a need that is beyond your limits and is training you to be better for him? or is he just seeing how far he can push you? Many online Doms I have seen train you by pushing you to the break, then they are done, or they might then train you as a Domme, then they are done, so why the training is more to the point.

Arpig -> RE: a question (4/13/2006 7:52:11 PM)
I like having my limits pushed, and likewise I like to do the same to others. I have a few limits I have no interest in crossing, however if I meet & like and play with somebody who wants to go there, who knows I might. But i will enjoy the slow dance that leads to the point where I must decide if I will take that final step or not. I realise that not everybody feels this way, but then again if everybody did, I would probably not admit that I did, since I do so hate to conform.

CrappyDom -> Online? (4/13/2006 9:28:16 PM)
98% of people who talk of training are idiots and to me is a sure warning sign if a submissive who isn't experienced says someone is "training" them. Setting reality aside for a moment, training isn't pushing limits. Training means turning you into my brand new custom made toy. Pushing limits mean dealing with a host of emotional issues and the support required to help you through them. Anyone who pushes anything but the most silly limits long distance doesn't have your best interests in mind. What happens when something goes wrong, you stumble across some emotional landmine? Is he going to be there for you? You have no real connection, you suddenly become a big bummer, all work and no play....guess what he is going to do? Start hitting up the GOR chat rooms or something and look for his next "true subie" or whatever line he uses. Either that or he is creatively shaping you into a beautiful toy for his pleasure so the two of you can spend the rest of your lives on the phone together.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Online? (4/14/2006 12:57:25 AM)
As a slave who was trained to learn my Master's preferences as well as my own self awareness, i am curious what you base your theories on, since you seem to speak for everyone. Oh, and we are technically long distance, if 2 hours apart qualifies. my limits have been pushed and exceeded. He and i both strive to do so. i have become a stronger, wiser, and more sensible person as a result. How is that not in my best interest?

Areflectionofyou -> RE: a question (4/14/2006 6:20:38 AM)
Im glad you are happy with your situation. My question is"How do you stretch ones limits online"? unless its emotions, i find online training difficult to push limits.

MistressSophia -> RE: a question (4/14/2006 6:56:13 AM)
I have read the question,and the so called answers, But no one has really answered. how does one train online? For me I need to see the slaves reaction , the emotion that I can read in their expressions, One cannot whip or cane a slave online, one cannot punish a slave online. Or even know if the slave is following the order. self punishing or beating, denial is just that an act one does to themself. So maybe there are a few slaves/subs out there that can clearly tell us how one is trained on line when one is doing it all to themself. Does one really need a Mistress/Master for these acts? This is just my opinion!

ScooterTrash -> RE: a question (4/14/2006 7:07:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSophia I have read the question,and the so called answers, But no one has really answered. how does one train online? For me I need to see the slaves reaction , the emotion that I can read in their expressions, One cannot whip or cane a slave online, one cannot punish a slave online. Or even know if the slave is following the order. self punishing or beating, denial is just that an act one does to themself. So maybe there are a few slaves/subs out there that can clearly tell us how one is trained on line when one is doing it all to themself. Does one really need a Mistress/Master for these acts? This is just my opinion! I have to admit I was wondering almost the same thing, although I can understand some training being able to be accomplished on-line. Specifically, I am having trouble figuring out what limits could be pushed on-line?

ownedgirlie -> RE: a question (4/14/2006 7:18:02 AM)
Physical limits can be stretched in person. Limits of the mind - be they emotional, intellectual, spiritual, introspective, reflective, creative....can be stretched whether in person or not. They say the mind is the greatest sexual organ. We see post after post here of "mind fucks." i also am aware of slaves, owned by a Master long distance, who are "loaned out" to local Dominants for further physical training, based on what the Master wishes her to learn. There is so much that can occur in a M/s environment if one can stretch his/her mind to see it. i am in a long distant relationship myself but i see my Master fairly regularly (that is relative; if i saw him every day it still wouldn't be enough, heh). There is much he does with my mind via conversations and script. While most will agree, nothing compares with being physically in the presence of one's Master, there is still much to be said for those who struggle with living so far from each other. To ask how it can be done speaks of an interested mind which wishes to comprehend. i for one appreciate that these questions were simply asked here, rather than condescended, as i have seen in other threads. Thank you for wanting to know, and i hope my reply sheds an inkling of light on the subject.

Ceyx -> RE: a question (4/14/2006 12:08:09 PM)
My two cents, as the owner of a slave who doesn't live nearby. There's an important psychological difference between doing something 'to oneself' and performing an act in the conscious awareness that it's been ordered by one's master. Much of the mental pleasure of submission lies in that awareness. One must be creative about framing these acts over a distance, but the experience needn't be 'all' the submissive's if everyone is in the right frame of mind. If you instruct your slave girl to kneel and cross her wrists at the back of her waist, she's 'doing it all herself,' even if you're standing there in the room with her. (Or him. Yes, I know.) Does that remove the dominant from the picture? I would say no. There are all sorts of limitations to LD tasks, obviously, but they aren't always and necessarily isolated from the dynamic.

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