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RE: Am I Too Picky? - 6/25/2010 11:30:36 AM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline

you're right, i haven't raised my standards at all in terms of people who i deem acceptable to my tastes for personal playmates versus the clients. clearly of course, the former has higher standards.

Some men seem to get so pissy about it these days.

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RE: Am I Too Picky? - 6/25/2010 1:18:09 PM

SirsJewel

Posts: 696
Joined: 3/23/2010
Status: offline

Go with your instincts if they have "paid" off this far ~ jewels

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RE: Am I Too Picky? - 6/26/2010 6:55:53 PM

MistressXbox

Posts: 12
Joined: 6/2/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

lately, i have been getting a lot of requests from people claiming to be a submissive or slave for me to own them. its been a 3 scenario rotation of reactions. Half of the profiles have either no photo, or some sexually graphic picture, so when i ask for a face photo (#1) they refuse to give me one due to "privacy reasons", or if they give me one and i don't find them attractive (#2), they ask could they pay for a session. however, i make enough to the point where i do not need to take on everybody i meet as clients, so i won't play with somebody whom i am not attracted to(in addition to other compatibility factors)-free or paid. as for the 3rd reaction, when i say no to a paid session, they tend to offer me large amounts in hopes that i change my mind. when i don't, i get verbally bashed(i block at this point) about how i have no right to pick and choose who i want to play with, especially if i'm getting paid. is it wrong for me to be picky about who i deal with based on attraction in a business aspect?

OK, let me preface my message with the disclaimer that I am not, nor have I ever been, a ProDomme. I know nothing about being a ProDomme -- but I do know about business. That said, I have an opinion about your situation.

First, a guy who's truly nice is not going to verbally bash you. Good on you for blocking -- I'd probably take it a step further and report especially nasty messages to the CM admin as well. No one should have to put up with that, ever.

Secondly, you do have the right to choose your partners OR clients based on whatever standards you're comfortable with. If someone creeps you out, or annoys you, or doesn't bathe, or is otherwise objectionable... you get the picture... then obviously your discomfort with the situation is going to hinder your ability to deliver the best quality service. Not only does this cheat both you and the customer out of a satisfying transaction, but it could also be damaging to your reputation as a businessperson. You don't want a customer to think that a halfhearted session is the best you can do!

It's good to be honest about these things, but you can always try to think of different angles of the truth if you don't want to insult someone. You can say that you don't have the time to see them, or that you can't/don't provide that particular service If they are insistent or offer you extra money, you can always politely decline again... BUT, perhaps then you can provide a few names of other ProDommes in the area that might be willing to take them on. That way, they're still getting a lead on someone to provide the service, and you'll come out of the situation looking like the capable, caring professional that you want to show the world.

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RE: Am I Too Picky? - 6/26/2010 7:22:04 PM

Nineveh

Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline

If you have enough clients I don't see any reason that you shouldn't be picky on whatever factors you choose to be picky on. Whether that is appearance, personality, or something else entirely you always have every right to refuse a client.

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RE: Am I Too Picky? - 6/26/2010 7:37:28 PM

MsMillgrove

Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline

All the men I have met in person thru CM except one acted ok on that first meet. Most were not fitting my bill. But they were nice people...and some might be great for others. There are two Cm men...one I know is absolutely daft, not good and the other I know is playing some nasty game. I avoid them both for my own safety, sanity.

The reason I bring it up is the "lately" aspect mentioned a few times in this thread. I didn't hear a thing from either one of them for over a year. They aren't blocked cause I don't want them to realize that I fear them. I'd rather ignore their messages as tho I am busy as many dommes do, just don't "get back".

Yesterday I heard from one, today from the other. I don't believe in the stars, but there's something about "lately" that is making me very nervous. Hearing from both of them within 24 hrs.. it didn't ease my growing anxiety.

If the OP doesn't want to play, no matter what the pay offered, I think she's definately doing the safe thing for herself. Sometimes you leap to a logical reason for rejecting someone, when in fact it's a different signal that has no name, it is the safety signal that protects you. Good idea to always listen to it, especially when it's not logical.

I agree on the pity thing, feeling sorry for a nice guy. In vanilla businesses, you often get into trouble, not because you're cutting corners or being less than professional, it's because you wanted to "help" a client. Those can be the most costly errors, based on nothing but good intentions.

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RE: Am I Too Picky? - 6/26/2010 8:44:14 PM

DommeKeliDallas

Posts: 311
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

"money is money" sort of doesn't sit well with me. reason being with s-types with that philosophy is that they believe if they dropped a few hundred, i'll do any kink-related activity. for one example, i was contacted about doing some foot fetish and trampling. no big deal- until somewhere it turned into "step on my throat until i pass out" i didn't meet him, and i told him that its a bad idea to engage in something so dangerous-which is why i refused to do it. he promptly jacked up his offer to around $500 for it. still wouldnt do it- moral fiber wouldnt allow me no matter how much cash he threw at me.

The title says, "Am I too pucky."
NOT..." How much money will I charge."

Initially, you find out if their articular bent is something you are interested in.
If you are, you meet.
If they are unattractive and you think you still might have fun with him...why not?
If they turn into Quazimoto, and want you to do somethig that was not discussed earlier or something you feel uncomfortable with leave, or make them leave.

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RE: Am I Too Picky? - 6/27/2010 3:37:25 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum
but it sucks a bit if the person is really nice and sweet, but is 3 times my age, sloppy, overweight(weight really doesnt matter too much, but sometimes its a sign of not taking care of themselves), or is just generally unattractive to me.

I agree that it is for you to decide with whom you will interact.

There are two potential aspects to the sympathy and conflict you feel: (1) feeling bad about not wanting to interact with them, and (2) not wishing to hurt their feelings.

For the first, attraction is not a conscious choice and it is how it is. For the second, perhaps you can give a generic answer that covers multiple scenarios including attraction:

I am not sensing a good fit and chemistry. Thank you for your interest and I wish you the best in finding another person. If you want any suggestions for where to find a better fit, one helpful place is maxfisch.com.

Cheers,

Sea

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RE: Am I Too Picky? - 6/27/2010 11:31:30 PM

lingeriewhore

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/27/2010
From: the coast
Status: offline

kick em to the curb gurl.

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